Juat discovered I have a new kind of meltdown

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Yesterday I had a pretty stressful day. I have had a pretty stressful couple of months actually. Nothing in particular out of the ordinary happened yesterday but the day before had been a long one with lots of sensory overload and too much social interaction and I have been having some very stressful situations in my personal life these past couple of months. So I think yesterday my body just responded differently. I have had this happen before at different times in my life but I never knew or understood why until last night when my good friend who is also Autistic explained it to me.

What was happening is that my body was literally forgetting how to breathe. I would stop breathing without realizing it and then only take a conscious breath when I would start to get faint. I know that all my life I have caught myself or others have mentioned that I was holding my breath at times and I always do that without realizing it. Yesterday it was different because it lasted pretty much the entire day. When I asked my friend about it he explained to me that that is actually a method that the body will do sometimes as a form of meltdown. I am wondering how many of you experience this also.

That's not new.

I don't know know what you mean by your response Fnord. I am not saying that the breath holding is new or not new, I am saying that I, for the first time, understand that it's a form of meltdown. So that understanding is new to me. Perhaps I did not use the best words to title the thread. I apologize if that is the case.

I don't believe that I do this as a meltdown, but I do hold my breath when I'm focusing a lot. Primarily, I think I notice it when I'm playing a video game and having to really focus on that, but I also do it when I'm finding my work a bit stressful. It used to be a bit of a source of amusement when I was playing games with my husband when we were younger. "You're holding your breath again!" was a regular comment when I was getting really into the game.

I always knew myself to do it as you described, like when I was focusing or sometimes when I was a little overwhelmed or very intense. But it was different yesterday because it was the first time it really lasted all day and that multiple times during the day it was for so long that I was actually getting faint and that was the only thing that reminded me to breath. It was this difference that made me ask my friend about it and when he explained that it can be a form of meltdown it made so much sense.

I shut down as well as melt down so this might be more like a shutdown possibly. It was pretty interesting to have this happen. It felt completely involuntary, I don't know if it actually was or not but it felt like I had no control of it. Pretty wild. My husband also reminds me to breath sometimes especially if we are in an argument. I get annoyed at him when he does that but I should probably listen to him.

Last week my brother pointed out that my breathing was very weird when I was playing a game. I held it for a few seconds between breaths, and I was unaware of it until he pointed it out.

When I get upset, frustrated, or am trying not to cry I hold my breath. Often I breath out, rather than in, as much as possible and clench my jaw along with the muscles in my abdomen and chest. This is more of a control thing so that I don't show emotion, if I let go I'll burst into tears or feel like I need to hit something. Sometimes I just calmly breath out and then stop breathing. When I do this its more of a shutdown situation. I almost always can breath in when I start feeling dizzy though, but usually I just stop feeling like I need to breath.

Actually after I typed that I thought maybe they are both shutdowns but one is manual, to stop myself from melting down (Which I hardly ever do, most likely due to this) and the other is my body automatically shutting down.

I'm sorry you have been going through such a stressful time Skibum.

I have had this kind of meltdown too, where I would realize I was holding my breath and not breathing normally.

Thank you Dianthus. I am always so glad to hear from you.