Obsessions on teacher/mentor figures?

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I've learned the correct word for these things I have is 'cathexis' (concentration of emotional energy). They're generally on women between five and thirty years older than me, and consist of some romantic feelings, some aspirational feelings, but mostly feelings of wanting the person to think I'm cute, in a child way. I think these are manifestations of this need I have to feel like someone is looking out for me and understands me. Does anyone else have this need? My NT friends don't seem to. And I have a very healthy relationship with my mother, by the way.

I used to like older woman--some of whom were teachers.

I'm 55 years old now--so I'm old myself LOL

I never wanted them to think I'm "cute," though. I wanted them to think that I'm smart and virile.