Do I suggest ASD to a friend???

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Hello,

My friend and I both have sons who have recently turned 3. I am a primary school teacher and familiar with teaching autistic children. Our sons were both first borns. I *think* my friend's son may have autism but she has NO idea. I don't want to be the one who suggests it to her as I don't want her to be offended and ruin our good friendship. But I also know that early intervention is vital for kids on the spectrum so I am torn about what to do. His behaviors which concern me are as follows...

*Runs away and tries to escape constantly. Has no fear of being lost. On his 3rd birthday he bolted at a theme park and was found by security 15 minutes later near the water rides. They have to hold onto him (against his will) constantly or he will run off and never look back (he's not just doing it for attention).

*He doesn't make eye contact or if he looks at you there is never any expression. It's a little unnerving. We see a lot of him but he's never responded (appropriately) to a smile etc. He also doesn't make much direct eye contact with his parents.

* They say he never listens and they're right. He seems to ignore everything they tell him. He doesn't ever respond when you ask him a simple question (are you having a good day or would you like a drink etc). He doesn't even turn to look at you.

* He squeezes my son in a sort of tight bear hug from the back and doesn't let go (even when my child asks him to stop). His mother thinks its cute and affectionate but he ends up making them both fall over and she has to tell him to stop. He also hugs any other child or person he meets. Total strangers at airports etc.

* He started talking on time around 18 months with the usual few words then started saying things off tv shows and repeating phrases. But he doesn't really use language to communicate much and there is still a lot of jibber jabber talk.

* He is pysically agressive and has to be pulled away from other kids for pushing and hitting etc, but there's no reason at all for it. It's really random and not because he's angry or anything. He was perfectly calm in line one day with his mother holfing his hand when suddenly he started whacking the (much bigger) kid in front of him on the back. His mother yanked him away and said "no" but he didn't seem to care and went back to waiting patiently. He also pushes and hits my son similarly. His mother says it's because he loves him so much and gets so excited when he comes to visit...and at 2 I thought it was ok, but at 3 suddenly I look around at all the other 3 year olds my son socialises with and NONE of them behave anything like this.

So that's it. I really am interested to know if you guys think those symptoms sound like autism or not and if so should I risk my friendship with his mother (who has never worked with children) by telling her. How does one even suggest such a thing without hurting her feelings? She has said she thinks my son is "advanced" but he most definitely isn't. If anything he is slightly behind his peers. But I think she is using that comparrison to make herself feel better as my son is the only other kid she sees, whereas we do lots of activities wirh other 3 year olds.

Sorry for the super long post. I just hope someone can respond with some insight on what (if anything) I should do...

It's a tricky situation. I don't know the answer.

I'm in a similar position - except, a friend agreed for their child to be a participant in my dissertation. Their child flagged up as considerably behind and seemed very atypical in general and so my supervisor (who's seen the scores and recordings to check I evaluated it correctly) has asked me to write about low IQ variances in my discussion. Again, Mum thinks her son is advanced.

Possibly, but due to Autism, Often negative portrayal it might break your friend ship, it has potential. You might want to due the old Strengths and Weakness thing so it doesn't sound negative.

Pieplup, says "That people often say My son may fit all the traits of autism, but he just isn't Autistic no way in shell. ". Mabye Slightly overexagerated, but you get my point