Help! Asking to not do something at work

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DaughterOfAule
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27 Apr 2016, 11:21 am

I need a little advice on how to ask someone at work if I can work on something else rather than what they want me to do.
I'm going to ask if I can help in any other way, because I'd be happy to help, I'm just terrified about what they want me to do. They basically want me to teach a few other people I work with and I can't think of a way I could possibly pull that off. I don't feel confident enough in the subject matter and I've always been bad at teaching other people even when I'm amazing at the subject in question. To make things worse, it'd be over the phone which makes me very anxious to begin with.

I guess what I need help with is how. to phrase the part about why I shouldn't teach this. Its hard to figure out because to most people the teaching should be a simple task and some people think it'd be good for me, but I've been panicking about it for a week, its making me sick. I also can't explain anything about Asperger's since I haven't been diagnosed.


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27 Apr 2016, 11:29 am

If your boss is a good person, I would just tell him or her exactly what you just told us here. If your boss is a total jerk, I doubt anything you say will help.


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DaughterOfAule
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27 Apr 2016, 11:50 am

He's not really a boss, just higher up, and he seems to be a good person, I'm just afraid he won't understand.

I'm going to try my best to ask and hopefully he'll be understanding.

I'm a bit embarrassed even though I know I shouldn't be. I work with a relative and they think I should just suck it up and do it. But then again, they also think that its hilarious that my mom thinks I could be autistic XP I do love this relative, its just they have an "everybody is a bit autistic" and "you can do anything even if its hard, just push through it" attitude. What they don't get is that I am terribly stubborn, if there was a chance I could do this, I would try. But I don't feel like something this simple is worth feeling sick over.


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27 Apr 2016, 11:55 am

Well I am cheering for you that it goes well. I do hope he understands.

I am also sure your relative is a very good person as well but I do have to say that that "Everybody is a little Autistic" attitude makes me sick to my stomach. I have had many people say that to me and it really is one of the worst things you can say to an Autistic person. And I know for a fact that there are things that no matter how hard I try, I will not be able to do. I just have to accept that that is the way it is.

I think that you might be able to overcome some of your teaching issues but it is going to take time and lots of baby steps. If you want to do that that should be up to you. But to just ask you to do this is too much for you right now and it will hurt you and the people you are trying to teach.


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spinelli
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27 Apr 2016, 11:57 am

Relatives........I understand that is not easy. You might want to find a different job.



DaughterOfAule
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27 Apr 2016, 3:58 pm

skibum wrote:
Well I am cheering for you that it goes well. I do hope he understands.

I am also sure your relative is a very good person as well but I do have to say that that "Everybody is a little Autistic" attitude makes me sick to my stomach. I have had many people say that to me and it really is one of the worst things you can say to an Autistic person. And I know for a fact that there are things that no matter how hard I try, I will not be able to do. I just have to accept that that is the way it is.

I think that you might be able to overcome some of your teaching issues but it is going to take time and lots of baby steps. If you want to do that that should be up to you. But to just ask you to do this is too much for you right now and it will hurt you and the people you are trying to teach.


Thankfully it went well and I don't have to teach! :D Its quite the relief.

It really does bother me that they said that, but I think I understand why they think that way. Almost everybody on that side of my family has a good bit of autistic traits. So we all think of it as normal. The relative who said that, though male, fits pretty good into the list of traits usually associated with females with Aspergers. Quite a bit like me actually, though less noticable and less sensory issues.


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27 Apr 2016, 4:08 pm

DaughterOfAule wrote:
skibum wrote:
Well I am cheering for you that it goes well. I do hope he understands.

I am also sure your relative is a very good person as well but I do have to say that that "Everybody is a little Autistic" attitude makes me sick to my stomach. I have had many people say that to me and it really is one of the worst things you can say to an Autistic person. And I know for a fact that there are things that no matter how hard I try, I will not be able to do. I just have to accept that that is the way it is.

I think that you might be able to overcome some of your teaching issues but it is going to take time and lots of baby steps. If you want to do that that should be up to you. But to just ask you to do this is too much for you right now and it will hurt you and the people you are trying to teach.


Thankfully it went well and I don't have to teach! :D Its quite the relief.

It really does bother me that they said that, but I think I understand why they think that way. Almost everybody on that side of my family has a good bit of autistic traits. So we all think of it as normal. The relative who said that, though male, fits pretty good into the list of traits usually associated with females with Aspergers. Quite a bit like me actually, though less noticable and less sensory issues.
I am so glad it went well. Hooray that you don't have to teach!

And I guess if everyone in your family has a good bit of Autistic traits, then they have the right to say that everyone among them is a little Autistic. That changes the rules a bit. I just hate it to the core when NT's who don't have a clue say it. But I am very happy for you that you got out of the teaching thing. :D


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