Open questions

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Does anyone else have problems with being asked open questions when you go to see a psychologist/ doctor/ counselor etc?
I can never verbally express how I feel properly when I'm questioned without being given time to think about how to respond. So being asked 'how does this make you feel?' or 'what affect does this have [on whatever]?' make me nervous and then I just stutter and panic. I'd prefer to be asked 'do you feel X, Y or Z?' and I could respond 'yes' or 'no' but I guess it doesn't work that way.
I find it a lot easier when I have time to think about how to phrase it or write down what I want to say but, for some reason, whenever I have to answer verbally, my mind seems to go blank. There have been times when I've been asked a question and I just sat there and then looked at my mum for help.

Long pause.



If you ask for more, ah...closed questions I'm sure they'd comply; considering they're professionals who're trained in communication.

I do not see a psychiatrist now but did when I was 11 to maybe 13. Yes. I had the same problem. I could not answer them. My parents would have talks with me long after that and I found the same difficulty. Of course another issue was also that I felt resentful to my parents and resentful towards the doctor so I did not want to answer, but it was honestly psychologically painful. Ask me how I feel and I cannot answer. I know very much how I feel, because I am very self aware, I know alot of people with AS do not even understand ti themeselves and I probably was more like that when I was younger, but now that I do know myself, I cannot express feelings to certain people. My parents are one. When I am with my mom and we discuss personal things for any length of time, even if I've been volunteering info, I end up coming close to tears because of the stress.

Geeze, exactly, I do this. I always so stupid, even though I know I am smart, when I can't answer questions like that. And I've often looked to my mom for help too. I actually took her with me to my last psychiatrist visit when I was going to discuss AS with the doctor. I knew that I would need her their to help me explain, bc most of the time i just cannot get the words out .

lol, I like my therapist to tell me EXACTLY what he is asking. Sometimes I try to pretend that I understand what he is saying, and after a few seconds of talking and watching his response, I'll just stop and say "then I'm guessing that's a no, I have no clue what you are asking me" lol. If someone asks an open question towards the end of a conversation and reacts promptly after I answer, I will obsess over it for a night and ask everyone I know over and over-trying to collect resources so that I know if I answered with what I meant to or not.

Yes, especially when they ask how I feel about something.
Why don't you ask what I think about something?

Anger Management was a waste of time for me in that aspect, I am still blown away that no one noticed before.

"How do you feel?"
"well.. angry."
"why?"

Long pause.

". . . because . . . I'm angry?"

I can talk if I trust you and know you which is never the case unless something triggers the idea that 'hey this person will understand me' which is ALSO never the case (at least with psychiatrists), it takes me FOREVER I love going in to something that I've spent much time, study, research ect on when its something I feel I have good knowledge on which is NOT emotions.

The feel question always gets me, all my life I've been with someone who's heavily a feeler (not the same person but they've all been feelers) and while sure, I feel.. everyone feels, I don't get it so what happens? I get angry because its the only way I understand how to express it. So sitting down asking me how I feel about something wont do you any good, I'll stare blankly at the floor or the ceiling and wait for another question or say "alright".


I agree that it would be easier if they said, "do you feel x, y or z?" "do you do this, this or that?"

Same here. In daily life too.

I think they use open questions so as not to lead you into an answer that's not realy yours, but having stated that,they should know already that you may have problems expressing yourself. I just tend to sit ther for what seems like ages while I assimilate what they're getting at before answering, or ask them to clarify the question.

Yep, do that all the time with my cognitive therapist. Millions of questions have had a long pause, then a 'dunno' answered.

my parents used to get angry at me because my answer to everything was "I don't know". They would tell me I was not allowed to answer I don't know. I can understand their frustration, but the fact is that sometimes I honestly DO NOT know. They thought it was just a copout cause I said it all the time. Well sometimes I did know but explaining it was so extremely painful I couldn't say it. In that sense its not a lie or a copout, because its accurate in the sense that even if I know, I don't know how to respond, so its true.

I used to say 'I don't know' a lot. I think I still do actually, but not as much. It seems to bother people though.

Yes and one psychiatrist I saw for several years would even make me so upset I cried a couple of times after leaving his office. I wouldn't be like boo-hoo crying but just out of sheer frustration. It was like being bullied really. He would ask all these questions and not allow me any time to respond and interrupt me before I had a chance to say what I wanted. I went to see another one after him and he was a jerk also but I stopped after the first appointment with him.

When I was a kid I also saw a psychiatrist but I didn't talk to him at all. Mostly just sat there - I guess what some call a shut-down instead of a meltdown. He would go through all kinds of tactics to get me to talk but I would just stare straight ahead.

I just get scared with open ended questions.

I get scared because it embarrasses me to not be able to answer immediately. It embarrasses me because I could go on for hours answering a question if no one stops me. And when someone asks you a question, they want an answer. Logically. And I will give them a War and Peace & the Lord of the Rings length answer if they don't stop me. No one wants the superflerous junk spewing from my mouth. And that's just about the only thing I can give them.

I try very hard to give people a succinct answer. But it doesn't always work.