People say I'm quiet and hard to get to know

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People love to say that I'm quiet and hard to get to know. People also love to say that I'm antisocial. I am friendly and I do try to talk with people. People don't give me much of a chance. People ask the same freaking questions every time I see them. I look at these people and think, "Have you ever tried to get to know me?" Why are people like this? What's their deal? Do people do this to any of you?

LOL....just the opposite of Lady Elaine Fairchild.

I don't think most people want to get to know most people they encounter "deeply." It's too much effort for them to get "deep" with every person they meet.

They tend to pick and choose who they want to get to know "deeply."

It's not most people are bad/nasty. It's just that they are impatient, and tend to be into surface, rather than profound, things.

^^I'm the same, except that people seem to like me regardless of how quiet I am. Yet I do prefer 'deepness' to shallow jibbber-jabber any day.

Yes, they did. Nowadays, not, but that's because I barely have contact to others.
What kraftiekortie said is also what I have observed.

Yeah, I've also have gotten that a lot. I don't mind answering questions at all, but don't have much to say, spontaneously.

It also takes mental energy to listen and respond verbally. Someone unexpectedly showed up here a few weeks ago when I wasn't expecting anyone and I couldn't say much and now they're mad/offended. It's like a child having a tantrum because they can't have everything exactly their way, all the time. Everyone ought to have a day where speech is hard so they can find out what it's like.

People always say "anti-social" instead of "asocial." Asocial means you don't talk to your neighbors, anti-social means you burn their houses down, lol.

I can relate to what’s being said.

I’ve been described as a “closed book” and “difficult to get to know”. I don’t understand why, but I’m aware from other people’s view that this is reality. It seems I communicate differently from ‘normal’ people and ‘normal’ people don’t quite get me, just as I don’t get them. But this disconnect has felt painful at times.

I would add that I for one have a tendency to read in to what people say to me too much. I normally give thought to what I say and try to communicate what I mean. Strangely, many people don’t. They prefer to fill a silence with an unconsidered throw-away comment rather than leave the silence be.

People fear silence at times; they fear the silent ones are angry/irritated with them for some reason. They might also fear that plots are being formulated amid the silence.

I'm gathering that Lady Elaine is saying that the same people ask her the same effing questions every time they see her.

After a couple rounds of that BS with people, I terminate further interactions with them.

I get that people as a whole aren't going to be deeply interested in the details of every person they meet but don't act stupid. If you're not interested in getting to know me.....fine but don't ask me the same questions every time you see me ......

I get what you feel, Spinelli. And I find these sorts of interactions irritating, too.

But I don't feel these people necessarily "dont want to get to know you."

They just feel they have to put on the superficial stuff in order for them to gather the courage to go further.

The same questions repetitively asked indicates a lack of attention when the answers are given the first couple of times. Most people don't do that to me. It's in all the social skills primers (marketed to NTs) that it is good to remember 3 minor details about each person you meet. It makes them feel cared about. Of course I don't expect people to have my extraordinary memory.......this irrigation happens probably more to the OP.

My sense is that most people, including NT's, don't have a really easy time of getting to know someone. So there are a bunch of stock questions that people ask in an attempt to break the ice. The most cliched one is asking about the weather, but there are many other kinds of small talk question -- do you think Trump will win the nomination, did you see the game last week, where did you grow up, etc. The questions aren't really intended to be important, just to establish some kind of common ground for further exploration. And I think some people have a way of engaging with these questions and moving them beyond the range of banality into genuine interest, and they'll be interpreted as friendly, whereas some of us don't. And that it isn't just whether people make small talk, but of emotional reciprocity. If people sense that you're enjoying the conversation and enjoy talking to them, they'll typically reciprocate.

None of which works very well for a shy person who doesn't bond very well with other people, as I am. If the conversation shifts to a topic in which I'm actually interested, I suddenly become someone else entirely -- an engaged extrovert whom people find really interesting. But usually I can't get past the small talk stage unless the other person is socially gifted and draws me out. So I probably have the same reputation as you do -- quiet and hard to get to know.

Some of my conversations are in the gym exercise pool. The common interest is right there which is various exercise routines with varying pieces of equipment. I love it !

I am quiet and hard to get to know. Plus, I always seem to be anxious about something, so that prevents me from having actual conversations with people.

I am a closed book.

^^^ Ditto...

people see me as reserved and aloof. i'm thrilled when they see me as quiet.