Aspergers Syndrome is ruining my life

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Because of my AS I,

- Lost my job

- Cannot seem to properly fall in love the "NT-way", hence never had a true girlfriend

- Lost interest in socialising with family (not immediate family though)

- Do not value friendships, because it seems superficial to me - I do not trust people who possibly will use that knowledge against me. I have been hurt before because of doing just that.

- Tend to find socialisation more hurting than rewarding.

- Have lost interest in finishing my education (as a result of the above)

- Feel that it is me against the world


All this has one root cause: being fundamentally different from everyone else.


How does one find hope in all of this? The spark for life one once had?

I dealt with many of my problems by accepting that I am who I am, and being okay with who I am.

When I try to live my life according to someone else's priorities, I am far more miserable.

I don't know if this will help you in any way, but I do understand the pain you describe. I hope you can find a resolution.

a lot of problems we have are only problems as most "normal people" wont meet us half way and accept us for who we are and so we "suffer" as a result

This is good advice. Find out what your own priorities are and then see what it will take to get you there.

A job is a pretty standard priority, not everyone can handle the same kinds of responsibilities. Many people with AS do contract type work, work from home etc. There are opportunities, you just have to see the ones that are compatible with you.

As far as relationships go, not everyone wants or needs a social circle. I certainly don't want or need friends however about 15 years ago the planets aligned or something and I met my soul mate. He's different too. We're perfect for eachother. Don't give up on this, but don't stress over it either. Let it happen, if it is meant to be it will.

I'm feeling the same way – like life has punched me in the face too many times, and I just don't have the strength to get up again.

At the moment I'm receiving financial support from my ex-husband, but if that weren't the case I would apply for disability (and my counselor is certain I would qualify).

So I'm just trying to make the best of my situation, and be grateful that I have a roof over my head, and all the free time in the world to enjoy my special interests.

I would sit back, realize that AS is not your fault nor anyone else's but still realize that you can do good even as an Aspie.

I'm looking for hope myself because I blame AS for me:

-not being able to keep a steady job
-not being able to keep a steady friend
-not being able to trust people
-not being able to say the right things at the right time
-being lonely the rest of my life

Last edited by redrobin62 on 17 Jan 2014, 10:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

If you believe you have ASD I would get yourself assessed and diagnosed by an Autism professional, it really can bring validity to your life in the sense that you officially have a medical condition which allows you to accept you for who you are and can explain why you face these troubles. Also, your diagnosis can help you gain employment or have accommodations for yourself which will prevent you getting into situations where you lose your job, as well as in school. Meeting friends (if that interest you eventually) can also be refreshing, because you will eventually meet people who will accept you and your condition and you can be open about it because you have an official diagnosis and people will embrace that more instead of assuming you just made it up. I only have one friend, but she knows exactly how I am and respects me and my ASD.

I'm pretty sure my spark is beyond conflagration and as far as hope goes, I guess you have to make sure you're hoping for something that is possible. So accept all the above that you listed and concentrate on getting through the day.

I find that the world doesn't have much to offer; but there are some things. You have to look for them.

I wish I knew the answer to this. I have been thinking over your post all evening wondering what I could say. I feel the same way about my life. I lost the spark and the passion I once had for living. But I haven't given up hope.

Be very careful about how you see things that are fundamental to your nature and to who you are as a person. There is one thing I know for sure...to look at something that is inherent to the way you are (whether it is AS or anything else about you) as ruining your life, won't help matters at all. I mean, of course it is good to understand how your differences affect your life and can make things more difficult for you. But at the same time it is also vitally important to accept yourself and value yourself for who you are.

i was dx'ed really looong time ago .. mid 90s .. and it took round 12 years before i even BEGUN trying to acknowledge and deal with AS .. i hated it so *fiercely* when i first was told about it.

a very very big part of my trying to cope and accept and embrace (?) my as/d stuff is actually WP community!! getting to know ppl more or less alike .. and seeing .. to begin with very very gradually in my case .. that they are OK ..

The world will tend to beat it out of you because, in a way, most of the human race is already dead. Not literally, or physically, but in their attitudes towards life and living. I keep hearing talk of the 'zombie apocalypse' and people waiting for it to arrive (some new in thing probably related to a computer game I've not heard of as I don't play them). It has already happened.

People are as programmed by society just as the machines that they use are. The don't see it, they erroneously believe they are free.
They don't feel passion, love or joy to any great level...their experience seems stunted (Ie I have never met anyone who gets as excited over their hobbies as I do, they don't feel the great love for them that I do either)
They don't really care about each other, they just use each other for social support, social status and power
They lack understanding, empathy, and acceptance of anything that is different about themselves and others.
They rarely see the beauty in anything and so concerned are they with their own ego they are also blind to the destruction is it causing on the planet we live on.

Rarely do I see good in the human race....

They live an automated life that is limited, brainwashed into believing a set of man made cultural beliefs are some great truth about the world, life and the Universe when they are nothing more than made up hokem mostly designed to control the masses (most people are easily conditioned into believing these belief systems and are easily manipulated via peer pressure and pressure to conform etc. They rarely tend to think for themselves, they just believe what the 'experts' or their 'social group' tell them without questioning it).

They don't see what life could really be if those belief systems were washed away to reveal its true beauty.

It's a shame.

It is not the AS that causes your problems but societies lack of acceptance of it.

Please excuse any typos or grammatical errors, I have not had my morning cup of coffee yet.

Last edited by bumble on 18 Jan 2014, 4:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

There is joy to be found in the individual, but there is very little joy to be found in 'society'

Celebrate the individual and do for you what society won't do...accept yourself, live your life and be free.

This is how I intend on facing life.
I think a person can waste their whole life away thinking about who/what they are not.
I think people tend to focus on the person who is popular and successful and ignore
the person who is homeless and digging through dumpsters, when gauging their quality of life.

Exactly.

Thanks for your responses everybody, they help me.

The reason I find it is me against the world is that what I in fact like (my original self) is what the world intensely dislikes and has therefore always been trying to change - all the resistance against me should provide enough evidence for that.

I feel like I have to constantly trick people into believing I do want to socialize the NT way, without actually wanting to. But that life becomes empty and pointless, because it brings me no real connections, it is all faking it and a fake life.


Thanks again, I wish you all the best.