compertion skills

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im hfa now but still pretend alot when iu dont understand being spoken to ,i understand hafe of what is said to me .alot of time i just yes people to death so they will finsh what they want to say and stop talking to me . also im told i go off topic alot dose this happenb with as people to

Nice to meet you, autti34. I'm not quite sure what the exact topic of this post is other than a general hello. So, Hello!

And clarify if you had something more specific in mind.

That happens to me a little bit. If I know someone well and we are talking about something interesting, I can understand them totally. But if I talk to some random person e.g. in a store when I buy something, I often have trouble making out the words they speak and their meaning, and I am reluctant to keep saying "what? what?". I often just sorta nod and take a guess and hope it is right; sometimes it turns out okay because their words weren't important anyway.

I think this is a problem because many people often speak in semi-speechlike grunts and use context and body/face language for the rest, and expect you to decipher what they mean...people (including me) unconsciously conserve linguistic effort in this way, for some strange reason. It isn't like it costs a lot of energy to speak clearly, and it only costs a little bit of time and thought to say a whole phrase instead of an abbreviated one...but oh well, people are effort misers.

WHAT I WAS SAYING IS I HAVE A HARD TIME STILL WITH RESPIVED LANGUAGE .IF SOMEONE I DONT KNOW WELL TRY TO HAVE A CONVETRTION WITH ME A LOT OFF TIME IT SOUNDS LIKE BLUH BLUH BLUH I MAY GET SOME OFF WHAT THEY ARE SAYING .IN IN MY FAMILY IF EVERYONE IS TAKING AT THE TABLE HAVEING A CONVERTION /MOST MOF THE TIME I GET UP AND GO IN ANOTHER ROOM BECUSE I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT THERE SAYING IM GERTTING BOARD AND HAD ENOUGH .

Hi Autti34(34 years old?). I am Ghosthunter.
I am HFA and so is Danlo, Elfman, and Sophist
and Pyraxis would qualify as HFA-like sisters in
relation to the topic. Civet, is HFA in a state of
mind, but AS most of the time.

I just wanted to say Hello know that I have a
slapped together OS 9.1 and can go back online.

It was good of you to say your HFA. I say thank
you! And welcome to www.WrongPlanet.net!! !!

Sincerely,
Ghosthunter

Oh yes! "Blah blah blah feel blah blah blah need blah blah blah me..."

This is an example of what I hear said at me ALOT!

Here is my usual response:-

Me:- "hmm" knods.."yes" knods..."really" knods...

I find it a big struggle to keep up with talking if my mind cannot create pictures of what is being said to me.

Yes, I am an Aspie.

autti, that happens to me often when I meet someone new simply because I am more concentrating on what they look like,etc., and also my anxiety tends to be higher and so my concentration skills get worse then, too. If I am comfortable and at ease, I have an easier time listening.

It's so hard doing more than one thing at a time.

well i still have all most no eye contact .i cant look at someone and talk at the same time it to much senorey input .i hated in school when they would try and lift my chin up to look at them well that made it even worse .since i dont like haveing my face touched and touching is stil hard for mebut i wasnt hfa as a kid so i couldnt say leave me aone dont do that .i would just drop to the floor to get away from that teacher.one of my teacher said i would cralw under the desk when i didnt want to do something .anmd she have to brib me to come out i was laughing when she told me this storey ,becuse i had no memorey off it .lol but i no how i was and can be .but i was in eathir 5 or 6 grade at the time . i was not in hf class .so i still struggle but my parents said im doing way better then what they were told i be able to do

i have problems with eye contact also.

What is interesting about the HFA story of bridery
and the "please get out from under the desk"
example is that it is a distinctive difference
between AS and HFA in my opinion.

The AS'ers on this site are quiet and not too
expressive, and I wouldn't see them do that.
I could see myself doing it NATURALLY, not
provoked, nor suggested. The AS person would
perhaps have to be provoked or it is suggested
upon them to go under the desk.

Hmmmm?
Ghosthunter

people will say oh she has as my mom say no she has autism there a big diff my neroulgist said it like 2 diff countryey i think poeole with as dont have behaveor proublems becuse you are better at language .i had a hard time coummiting for a long time .it was like pulling teeth as my teacher said to get me to say anything .i still have some language trouvble im better at getting my thought out on coumpter and writting .it only bbeen since my 30 i been able to tell my parents what i new and rember and how i feel and stuff .i still get told i can be diffulyt .but when you cant explain what you want you losse it to .i still have melt downs .and can be agrssive if im over the edfge it kinda of scray sometimes i feel out of conrtol .they sai=d my social skills when upset or even not are like 3 to 5 .and now since my 20 was conncerder hf

Hi autti34. I, too, am diagnosed HFA. Welcome to WrongPlanet.
Often, when I am talking, I will also lose track of what has just being said because I am often concentrating on those rules that haven't become parts of my subconscious routines. Things like eye contact for appropriate intervals, body postures and facial expressions. They mean nothing to me, but that's not the point. Often, however, I will remember what they say but am unable to trust my memory to have remembered correctly, and end up waiting for them to repeat. This still happens with almost everyone.
My routines ensure I never go off-topic, and its a sure-fire method. Take a word, usually noun or adjective, and make a question out of it. Never goes wrong.
Regarding dinner conversations, I just sit and look at some item of interest. My other senses just fade into the background, you still hear the noise but it doesn't make it to conscious awareness. My hearing never fails to pick up my name, though, and I can then snap out and listen to what is being said.
I agree with the opinion that AS is different to HFA. But the question is: is the communication deficit like a co-morbid condition, or is it a separate developmental path. I don't think that behavior problems are in any way connected to which form one has, but is a combination of many factors, like: upbringing, environment, personality, sensitivities etc.
When I meltdown rather than zone out, my strength goes through the roof, and I sometimes lose the memory of that time. I'm told I go wild and lash out at everyone near me, but its by no means conscious.
Anyways, again, welcome! Too few HFA's around.
Danlo

well i was taught the bestr i could how to behave my parents treatd me as normal as possible meaning i didnt get away with much becuse i had a disibility .but ebven with alkl the strugute and stuff everyone say im doing way better them some like me becuse of all the stuff my parents did .but somethings stay same cuse it part off the autism .like i had echiola and sometime speak in 3 person and stuff .i was in my own world for a long time and still am some what it just harder when your oldrer and expected to behave a certin way .witch i never unbderstood .what one has to do with the other .i cant help it if i flip a nutty or pinch cuse im so over load or frustred that i cant understand what is being said,they are trying to help me with my social skill again maybe they can be better then they are .the thing my mom say is gopod is that i look way younger then i am so proubly helps at times .the other thing is i dont know im doing something wrong unless im told .do you like that to

I think it has more to do with how free someone feels about being themselves, or the severity of overload. I would never have dared crawl under a desk in public, as much as I might have wanted to, because that wouldn't look normal. But I was lucky that things never got bad enough for me that I couldn't pass for normal. Besides, I was too scared of people's reactions and attention. But in private, at home, I used to crawl under my desk sometimes after I came home from school.

I can concentrate on what people are saying, but sometimes am distracted by something I see. And I think the problem may increase now that I have glasses (due to the fact that my vision is way better).

well when i would cralw under the desk or throw myself on the floor like other autisc kids do .i wasnt awear of how it look .i didnt know enough to think that way people were more like pobhjects to me every person had there place school was teacher and parents home .and stuff ,i still dont get emarde or notice anyone looking at me if im stimmy or upset i dont care what stranger think anyways ,in school i never thought oh i get in trouble i just would be told not toi do that we got rewad for being good .so i try .but sometimes i was just to frustred to be good uslay i got cookie or taken out for ice cream or would earn stickers i still love sticker in school i do anything to earn stickers