Anyone stumped by the "creep" factor?

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I really don't think I have any chance of finding friends or a relationship. Even if in an alternate universe I learn all social skills, I will NEVER, ever get past the following stumbling blocks:

A). People expect that you be interested or passionate about something...

B). People expect that you are actively working towards a goal of some sort...

C). People expect that you have a lot to talk about

D). People expect that you have other friends / interests

E). People want to know EVERYTHING about you before they want to have anything to do with you. (Example: I value my privacy but find that if people don't know exactly what city I grew up in, what my background is, why I'm here, what my goals in life are etc. etc.... They want NOTHING to do with me.

The five factors above have been the biggest stumbling blocks, besides the fact that I have zero social skills.

Anyone relate??