How do I communicate with my brother in law?

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Hi, my brother in law has Aspergers syndrome and still hasn't spoken to me. I am going to stay the night at his house and was wondering if there was anything I could do to help with communication as he tends to isolate himself when I'm around. I know him and his brother are really close, I would like to be able to be his friend.

He probably just doesn't know how to go about starting a conversation with you and/or is too nervous to try from my experience. I don't think he would mind if you just approached him and tried to start a conversation. Just treat him like you would treat anyone else, except try to be more direct and avoid sarcasm.

Thank you but I tried that last time and I got him a gift, but, he was just too nervous and didn't want to talk. Since then I've been patiently waiting for him to come and talk to me. I don't want it to be awkward when I stay over, but I don't want to upset him ethier.

Do you know if the two of you have any interests/hobbies in common? That's always a nice place to start

We both like Formula one and chocolate haha.

Cool, maybe start with asking his favorite driver or track? One of my friends is a fan, and because I knew nothing about it, I probably asked too many questions LOL. Anyway, welcome, and let us know how it goes. Oh, and I just thought of something, maybe someone could prepare your brother-in-law for the encounter ahead of time? Sometimes if you know somethings going to happen, it's easier to deal with. Sometimes not, but maybe worth a try?

I'd say initiating friendly interaction would help, also try to invite him to join in whatever is going on. Like if you and his brother put on a movie he might like invite him to watch it or things like that. I myself can't really initiate interaction with people until I become familiar with them and know them. Its not to the extent I get too nervous to talk if someone interacts with me, but even so I know I get more comfortable around new people over time.

Also if he and his brother are close you could maybe talk to his brother about it, so he could mention you want to be friends and don't dislike him or anything. A lot of people on the spectrum can be used to people not liking them/thinking they're weird so might worry about that with new people to.

Maybe you could ask your husband how he thinks his brother would want to interact. It could be that he's like I am and prefers to not socialize and the only one that feels awkward is you

I agree; Jboo, if that's the case, don't feel as if you've failed or as if your BIL's reaction to you is some sort of personal rejection. It may just take some time for you to get used to a different relationship "flavor." (Perspective of an NT who knows a few adults on the spectrum. Not an expert. On anything.)