I'm a loner because losing friends hurts

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One reason I'm a loner is because it is too painful for me to have friends because we fall out and then they hang out with other people and move with their lives. I know it's normal and it's supposed to be that way but it hurts too much and I never forget anyone I've been friends with, IRL or online. I can remember the names of my classmates in 1st school year and many details about people I used to know but they will have forgotten about. It doesn't help having asperges because I make mistakes socially and upset them but I never mean to.

I hope you don't give up on the idea of making friends.

Fear of being abandoned or moved on from is a very real, and scary thing. And inevitably it will happen in every relationship. But there's so much to be gained by healthy relationships. You can't let that fear stop you. You have to try to accept relationships will end, whether friends or otherwise, and just enjoy people when they are here.

That's what I try to do and separation anxiety is a nightmare in my life.

I understand your fears about social anxiety and how severe the damage it sometimes brings into your life.
When I was 18, my mom forced me to never see an old friend {who had LFA} again because she thought he was gay. My LFA friend was not gay and he lived a sheltered life, so he would not have obviously understood LGBT people very well. To this day, my mom has never apologized about it.

But now, my relationship with my current GF has been great so far. We last saw each other last week when she was hosting a housewarming party at her new house. Because she is busy with work and school, I make an effort not to invade her sense of privacy.

I can relate, it is really hard to let people close to me and to trust people as friends after being burned so many times. It seems like everyone goes away eventually.

Thanks for the replies everyone. I have a support worker for a while and she is helping with this too

Yes- this exactly. I am reallllly cynical about people. I'm trying to work on it, but what has happened is that I have created a false sense of connectedness... like, I talk about events and things, but never ever let people in or I only tell them things that sound deep but mean nothing emotionally to me...... perpetually creating distance and smoke-screens and illusions of intimacy and I've taken to leaving before I get too hurt or attached as if "HA- YOU can't leave me because I'm already gone!! "... not saying this is healthy or that I recommend it, but just that I understand the sentiment. It's terrible I've even uncovered a 3/4 year pattern... that's how long it takes for my defense to fall or vulnerabilities to show, and that's exactly when people up and leave or used to know I just quit at 2yrs
Eh, I'm working on it I guess you could say....

It's kind of like having a good defense by having a good offense.

<--- Doomed to a life of unutterably unbearable loneliness. Oh well.

I'm NT, but I've had falling outs with other people that has resulted in broken friendships. I know it's different, but it does happen to everyone. You just need to get out there and keep trying. I'm sorry you feel so lonely. This is exactly why I want to help my son with social situations. He says things sometimes that I know hurts other's feelings, but he has no idea that it's rude or hurtful. I'm trying to help him with that.

losing friends does hurts. but sometimes i get confused between "losing friends" and "isolating myself"....cause im in a constant need to be alone most often than not. but truly if they're real friends im sure that wont be enough for them to just leave you.

sleepingpancake - You are right, in that, 'real friends' will not leave you for merely 'isolating yourself'. I have a friend who is very much like you/the way you describe yourself/your needs, and I will never leave him, or abandon our friendship, because I understand and respect him and I accept his need to isolate himself. I miss my friend when there are large gaps between our interactions, of course, however, he is very special to me, and our friendship means the world to me. The quality of our friendship is vastly more important to me, than the quantity of interactions we experience. I hope you have a friend or two, that understands you and accepts you just as you are.

There is a term for this problem. They call it acceptance avoidance and acceptance anxiety. I suffer from both in spades. Life can be lonely when you are unable to make close connections to other people.

I can relate. I lose friends but not sure if it passed acquaintanceship. It is too hurtful to try anymore...

This happens a lot for me. I tend to just not be freinds or keep a large distance knowing that the loss isnt a if scenario, its a when scenario. People keep saying i should look more positive on it but the same people tend to become the proof that my idea is correct.