being open about your difficulties at work

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I work as a waiter in a very busy restaurant, and I'm having a lot of issues in my job
they are issues that many people here are very familiar with, but they are not my problem per-ce.

My problem is that I'm unsure if it would be wise to explain my problems to my boss/co-workers

If I tell my boss that the reason I struggle with certain things is because I have Asperger, they might think I am making excuses; or realize that they aren't issues that I will "grow out of" or can be "trained away" because they are reasonably innate to who I am. My boss might just think "why am I still hiring this guy".

Similarly when applying for a new job, I'm not sure to declare if I have aspergers or not, because I could be discriminated against.
But then if I don't declare, employers will misunderstand and might attribute some of the things I do to drug use (like my last boss did before I told him).

I already hear people saying "get a new job", but the realities of the world are such that I don't have that liberty.

It's a tough one and I think depends on what your boss is like. I'm wondering the same thing with my employer, though my assessment is in a couple of weeks. They recently sent me a new form that employees now have to complete about any health issues and it's quite intrusive, and wants to know about possible issues and anything you are waiting to be assessed about or having investigated. I haven't filled it in. I don't know what they are going to do with that info and what their intentions are.

I'm not sure if you legally have to declare these things if you have a diagnosis.

I'm having quite a few issues with work, but as I am relief staff the work is on my terms and they seem to need me a lot more than I need them. I am constantly having to be assertive and have firm boundaries. I have the luxury of this unlike the staff with permanent contracts, who have few rights. Last week I was stuck at work (I work in care) as night staff didn't turn up. Other staff left because they had been on 14 hour shifts. As I don't do long days I was the one that had to stay. Luckily someone covered it and I got to leave only 45 mins late. But I couldn't legally leave the building and could have been stuck there for 10 hours. I refuse to do night shifts.

So I told my manager that I am not doing late shifts there any more because of this. She hasn't replied. I've taken myself off the rota and I don't think she'll be happy about that, but I'm not being held hostage there again. My boss, despite being a social care manager and having an autistic step daughter, is very ableist and has an agreement with her partner that if one of them became disabled they would divorce. Her opinions about the people in her care are basically that they shouldn't exist. She's a bully and I think in that job because she's on a power trip. Disabled people are easier to control and staff in care are largely uneducated and low in self esteem.

When (if, ha) I get my diagnosis I intend to then find an organisation that will value that. There's an autism specialist service in my area that I'd like to approach. Though of course there's no guarantee that they will be welcoming of staff on the spectrum.

Sorry I have hijacked your thread for my own work related rant I know that it's not easy to find work, but in the long run do you have any ideas what you'd like to do? It doesn't sound like that job is very suitable for you. Though it is good to get experience in these things. But you don't want to burn yourself out on a job that doesn't even pay very well.

well I don't know about where you are from and what the labor/disability laws are

I'm Australian and we have very strong laws that protect people with disabilities, unfortunately enforcing them can be very difficult.

for instance I am allowed as an australian to simply lie and say I don't have a disability if I don't think it will effect my ability to perform "core elements" of my job.
there is also a requirement for "reasonable adjustments" to be made before a position is closed to people with disabilities, and these are very flexible

as far as my job goes having aspergers does make me worse at my job, so for me it's just a choice between saying "I'm a B grade employee, no idea why" and "I'm a B grade employee because I have aspergers"

being a waiter is a horrible choice for someone with aspergers, but to be frank there arn't that many jobs out there for a young guy and I have to work with what I've got

Having read this thread subject before i can sum it up:

It worked for me. For others, not so much.
If it is an open minded person, it can work. If not, things can get worse.

I think a better question would be "DID you tell your boss you have Asperger's?" I think the question of "SHOULD you..." depends strongly on each person's situation, how healthy your workplace culture is, their attitudes toward diversity and disability, and the protections in your country (and how much they are enforced). Discrimination laws are notoriously difficult to enforce, because many countries don't allow you to know what your peers are being paid, and because your boss can always say you were passed over for promotion or fired for other reasons. The fact that Asperger's affects our executive function and social skills gives them ammunition.

That said, I decided to tell my boss. I was already having troubles with misunderstandings and managing my workload, so I figured that it might help them understand that I was not doing this on purpose. My company mostly does contracting for the US Federal Government, which means that a certain number of disabled or veteran employees are required, and that they take discrimination very seriously. I went through a formal procedure with a human resources specialist and an accommodations meeting (which requires a formal diagnosis). It was a really positive experience, and my boss has been very supportive.