My carer said something odd (but nice)...

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I have a carer that is subsidised by my county council. Basically, I pay a sum to the council and they pay the rest for the care. I need the care as I have trouble taking care of my (small) flat and doing things around the house, and I need to be told to clean up and be supervised. I probably could just about manage on my own, but I also have poor vision.

...she said that, in the future, if my mum was busy with Grace (my five year old niece), that she would take me out in her car on trips. I can't drive due to my eyesight and lack of spatial awareness and fine and gross motor problems, so that's why she offered. We were talking about her leaving her job as she's trying to get pregnant and, anyway, she wants another job that pays better. She's a very nice lady, younger than me (she's recently turned 23). Married, but very chatty and we get on well together. She winds me up, I wind her up. It's fun.

I responded that I would have to come to some mutually agreeable deal with her about the trips - I wouldn't want her to do it for nothing (even though I can tell she likes my company - which is odd, as few people I know apart from my mother actually like my company), and I told her that if my mum was to die, that she would leave me enough money to do things like this.

I don't know if she was serious in what she said, but if she were to get pregnant, I probably wouldn't see her any more anyway so it wouldn't really matter. She told me that she would leave me her phone number so if I ever needed any help (especially if my mum were to die - this will be decades off yet, hopefully) she will come and help me and take me out and stuff - although hopefully by then, Grace will be an adult and she will be able to do it.

I don't know what to make of this. What does WP think?

I hope it's a well intentioned gesture, take her up on the offer and have a day trip or two.

It could be an elaborate scam, but I'm a paranoid auttie at times and have trust issues, especially when the other party mentions money.

test the water, but keep your guard up.

Never run naked through a field of thistles though.

Just don't.

Maybe she wants you to feel better about her possibly leaving the job?

Hard to say whether she means it but 'in the future' sounds a bit like something that is not going to happen, at least that's what I think NTs do but why don't you ask her? She's your carer and should accomodate for your communication needs.

Yes, that is a good idea. I wouldn't advised that with an 'ordinary' NT but she's your carer and should communicate in a way that is comfortable and not confusing for you.

Hmmm... that seems slightly unethical to give you her phone number and make promises like this. Then again, I don't know how things work in Lancashire, what the council's rules are on this sort of thing. Most likely she is trying to look out for you though. I think that it might be a better idea to speak to whoever is in charge of your care and see if you can get somebody who can support you in getting out and about. Part of your care should involve you getting access to the community and such, so the council should provide that in some way, if you can't yourself.

I don't know - we share jokes and things that are very saucy and beyond boundaries (she showed me a porn joke video once) but I would never make a move on her.

She's pretty cool. We tend to Blur boundaries a bit.

Tomorrow, I'm going to annoy her with ABBA. (She said they made her drive miles to dance to ABBA songs for some woman.)

I'm just a bit uncertain as to if it'll happen.

I think you should take her up on her offer. She seems like a Sweet Pea to me.

I've spoken to her about it and showed her (part of) this thread so she could read it.

She was quite flattered with what I wrote, but she thinks you're a nutter, QuillAlba. I should say that I've known her for about two years and she's pretty happy-go-lucky.

One of the things I didn't point out but she has made very clear is that she would be happy to do it FOR FREE, even though I made it plain that I would be happy to pay her for her trouble. I did mention that I couldn't pay her anyway as I don't have enough money to do that, but in the event of my mother dying (this is a real fixation I have and it's very troubling for me - my mother has decades left in her yet) I would have enough money to pay.

So, all is good. I really need to chill out, b*****s.

i think that it is only proper for a carer to say that you considering you said you had good times.

You know her family, you have known her for years, you are already friends. I think it's very normal for her to say what she said. She will miss you when she stops working for you. That is a very normal way for a friend to feel. I think she considers you a friend and is showing that she would like to remain friends after she has to stop working for you.