advantages to being hfa lol

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Autism Information Library
this is funny and true
Advantages to Being a High-Functioning Autistic
written 17 April 2004
for David, who understands

you are automatically exempt from that boring, mundane thing called a job.

the government will take pity on you and give you money (hopefully).

you don't have to bother with condoms or birth control because you are guaranteed to remain a virgin until at least 25.

nobody will believe you have any sort of creative ability (case in point: first poetry by an autistic not published until 1985, first autobiography by an autistic not published until 1986, first fiction not published until 1994), so you can create whatever the hell you like.

people like oliver sacks and morley safer will come to interview you because you are a fascinating freak whose very existence prompts people to question the definition of humanity.

people will adore you because humanity is constantly craving stories of People Who Succeeded Against All Odds.

you will ensure that the doctors' families will never go hungry because you will be passed around from specialist to specialist like some exotic plant someone found in the rainforest.

the anonymity of your condition in the media because there are no cops, doctors, lawyers, scientists, engineers, artists, authors, musicians, cartoonists, students, or next-door neighbors with autism on any dramas, sitcoms, movies, comic strips, or manga.

you will never develop a $1,000-a-week drug habit because you are guaranteed to become pathologically obsessed with something or another.

you will never have to take marijuana or LSD to heighten your creative ability because you have weird s**t lurking in your psyche to work with anyway.

the honor of being included in revised, tenth and eleventh edition art, literary, and science history books — in 2084.

you will never be f****d up (literally and figuratively) by that terrible thing called romantic love.

you will never have to deal with the embarrassment of being labeled "beautiful," because people think you are too strange to be beautiful.

you will never be a divorcee because you only have a 1 in 11 chance of getting married in this society (according to one study).

you always have the option of going to europe and japan like so many other pissed-off american expatriates, but you will probably be even less accepted there.

you can always speak your mind. you have a mind. and a heart.

Copyright © 2004 Vanessa Sodd, inspired by The Advantages of Being a Woman Artist.


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From, Auttie34

These HFA tidbits came at a good time.
I am walking down the streets of San
Francisco being blue and lonely. I am
not being too inspired on wrongplanet
today, I can't stand noise, and I am filled
with negative thoughts. Thanks for this tidbit,
it makes crawling into that dark cave less
tempting. Hmmphh! Hmmmph! The dark
force give into to it .
Let it comsume you and now this
interesting tidbit. It may not remove my
blue mood but it sheds some of the
force my direction! . Here is some
bleeding for your computer screen!

Hmmm? I don't know about this!



Ha! Ha! Ha!-you're killing me, please stop .
The government only helps drunks, druggies,
and riff-raff! I could die and they wouldn't care



Righttt I frown upon this statement. I didn't
follow that virginal path. Those who sought chaotic
and unusueral energies crave what you don't see.
It is what you do that attracts them. It is not
being helpful that does. I can save you from
yourself and Ooh! thankyou! good bye and
they find some other sexual partner, and I say
"What did I do wrong?"..."I thought by being my
honest self you would want to go one step further
than conversation"...."I AM NOT A CONVIENT WALKING
MATTE FOR YOU TO STEP ON"

If I had a wish list it wouldn't be a million dollars,
a new car every two years, and a zilllion friends,
It would be love me for who I am Accept
me for who I am Walk on me not! I have feelings
A genuine relationship again

But that is wishful thinking so I walk alone and help
others and hope I don't become their walking matte




Not true, our expression is sincerely expressed but
not always understood. Look at my dark and light
poetry and comments about them.



Freak I may be, and wish lists that are improbable.
If that is a freak, then freak I be.



True, I can't help not be myself and giving, I just
hope that it can help me as well. I cannot lie
to myself and If I lie to others I am lying to myself.
Thus my truth reigns true as with my courage that
goes with me when I am six-feet-under



Odd I may be. But that is me!





I am pathologically helping others, even if I have
to suffer from this. Being one's walking matte
seems to follow me around.



True! Look at the hobbies a HFA person adquires.

I have adopted hobbies in hauntings, ghosts,
roman coins, scottish coins, Wicca, ect.....
Freak I may be, but I can only be me!





Not true, it is just how they find you!



True and false! Our beauty is from within, our
art, words and feelings we express. Few may see
it, but I am not going for a popularity contest when
I do it. I am just being me.



This is true!



Don't know!



This is self evident in my scatterings of myself on this site,
and my lifes deeds. I cannot lie to you, I lie to myself and
that is the worst crime I can do to myself.

Most unhappy,
Ghosthunter(drip! drip! drip! as blood trickles on your
computer screens like a shot and wounded animal.

GhostHunter,

Have you ever read a book called The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran?

If you have not I would love to send you a copy or something.
I read it very often, But the last time I read it I could not help but see it as if it was you who was quoting from the book.

It may be just was your heart needs right nowy

Now that your computer screens have
been appropriately bled upon my fiestyness
has been returned!

Thanks for posting this Auttie34

Fascinating Captain! Hmmmm?
Elfman I will PM you! And I am
still seeking a relationship still
to fill this void, no book is going
to solve that, But devouring data
and knowledge has always intrigued
me.

Hmmm? Fascinating Captain!
Ghosthunter

Hm yes, I would hardly say you're exempt from a job. It just makes it harder to get, keep, and do a job.

Ah hmm, better to be like me and not have a void needing a relationship to fill it.

i could relete to it alot . but what not true is most off us are good looking ,i have goten oh she looks so noramel she so pretty bluh bluh bluh

I don't like this rant. I find the list quite depressing, unnerving, and not funny at all. One should attempt to find a niche in which one would be happy. Thinking along the lines of the list of "advantages" is a sure way to depression. I also find this "humor" quite demeaning, as it suggests that autistics are good for nothing. This is simply false and quite an injustice. (Autti34, I am criticizing the original author of the "joke", not you, of course.)

thanks autti, is very interesting.

Does anyone wanna point out the extreme possibilities that people like Einstein and Wittgenstein were HFA and published, created, and taught, etc. out the wazoo?

And how many other vast numbers of people are the same but were never diagnosed, etc.???

Just pondering.