Family life

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Hi everybody,

Do any of you guys feel like whatever you do and say to your family it is wrong? Whether it be an opinion you have, a decision you have made or want to make and the cleaning/chores you have done are wrong (i am almost 27!) in.their eyes your sibling is perfect and can do no wrong? My sister until recently-ish took MDMA in clubs with her husband from the age of like 16/17 (shes 29 now) and before she.met her husband three years ago,.her.and her ex smoked weed in the bedroom next to my room and I told them I hated the smell.. yet my parents showed no concerns or anger or worry to my sister regarding the weed or MDMA, even though she took MDMA with my younger cousin and didnt argue with her for that showing no worry for the safety of their niece.

Growing up I never took drugs, drank much alcohol, smoked cigarettes, had underage sex..my whole life i have been quite responsible... yet my sister did all those things and I am yet still the daughter who is always wrong.

Even when I have an argument with my girlfriend (i am a lesbian) who lives with us they always take her side even if she is wrong and I am their daughter!.and when I defend myself I am told I have anger issues and they cause massive arguments with me. Does anyone else have families like this? Or families who treat siblings better than you?

Moving out isnt an option due to lack of money (i am from London, England so rent here is sky high. I am not entitled to social housing despite having ASD and.other minor health issues) I want to stay in London for as long as possible cause of jobs being here, things to do etc I cant stand.not living in a city.

Thanks

Alex

I think I know what you mean. I'm 22 and always did well in school (academically and behaviorally) and never drank, smoked, did drugs or had sex, but my mother still acted like I was nothing but trouble for her. I know it hasn't been easy for her with my Autism, other conditions, and physical disabilities, but other people would always compliment me (like family friends and teachers) and say I was a good, well-behaved kid. I try very hard not to argue with my mom, because she thinks she is always right and it is just a losing battle. I love my mom a lot, but I want to move out too and just live with my dad, but he can't afford a place big enough for both of us and I would also have to leave my pets behind .

Reminds me of my teenage years. I was often compared with, by my mom, other kids my age. It puzzled me the things she wanted me to do. She wanted me to take a bigger interest in brand name clothes (despite that we had little money), stop reading books, have relationships, go to parties.... I was like "Mom do you even know how drunk they get?" I was maybe 14. She said something like "I'm sure they don't, but you have to be like everyone else". So, I knew about the parties because kids talked about them at school, still my mom thought they were good, clean fun. That was the case with most of the teen problems. She wanted me to have them but at the same time stay cool and safe. Eh...

My mom actually "grew up" to be a decent human being, but in my teen years she was incredibly immature. But I think parents fear more than getting in trouble, that their kids would be different, even if it is a POSITIVE different...

Yes, I used to feel that way pretty much all the time. It seemed like I was always the "sick" one, one of my sisters was always the "good" one, and my other sister was always the "bad" one. Sometimes families can get stuck treating people as just roles or parts. You can feel like you're always being put in a category rather than being treated like yourself, especially if you're stuck in a negative role.

For me, getting really into my hobbies, writing in a journal, and going on forums helped to give me some space from my parents while I still had to live with them.