How many people on WP are married.

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Poll is already dead. But I think Id check teh 5th one? down

I married my stalker when I was 25. I don't think I need to detail how badly it went. we had been together *lel, as a foxtail in a dogfoot* 4 years prior relations

We stayed married 14 years but that was mostly because deployments has us apart often. I got on okay with my MIL.


Actually it didn't spur me on subject though it made me careful. I hate dating. I hate shopping. My fiance and I area a surprise. I had broke up with a guy I had known as teen and was really looking forward to being a mean cat lady with a shotgun full of rock salt. But then my friend... became more.

The handful of relationships I have experienced beside my ex did not turn me off the idea. They were simply not compatible enough and they showed me what I DIDn't want.

But even with the monster there were some comforts in being part of a couple. If he had liked me, been less messed up in the head we might have been able to make a go of it. But I was glad despite all the losses, to be free of his tyranny.

When I was 20 it suddenly dawned on me. Prior to that I could always think, with a shudder, that I am young, I don't have to think about relationships yet. But I was 20. And I realized... I actually do not want a relationship. And that I will not want one in the future either.

Learning that was very liberating.

I think part of the problem is that many people don't know what they want, and what they can't stand, until it's all rather too late.

Having the same outlook on money is crucial. It was one of my marriage problems -- he spent willy-nilly with breathtaking disregard for whether or not he left enough for our rent in the account, while I was the cautious type who realized basic math has to balance.

I've also noticed that marriages between people who are "loosey goosey" about nearly everything in life seem to be the happiest. Basically if you're both a pair of hippy pot smokers who don't take anything seriously you're golden.

If you care about anything at all or need ANYTHING to happen a certain way, forget it. So I'm glad to be single and at least who I am.

It's so hard not to mention something like that when you notice it. Maybe your lady needs a hobby so she's less irritable.

I've been married twice, to the same person. We got engaged at 17, a week and a half after we met. We thought it would be funny. We got on each other's nerves and divorced after nine years, but eventually remarried, because we just preferred each other's company to anyone else's. Even when we were divorced we hung around together constantly. So we've been together in one way or another for 22 years.

We like to imagine what it would have been like if we'd had our son early on instead of two years ago. He probably would have been named something stupid like Eric Draven (The Crow) and he'd have early memories of us wearing black lipstick and having green hair. There's no telling what kind of stupid nonsense we would have subjected him to. I'm sure he'd be living in our basement right now, refusing to go to college and probably making us early grandparents. So glad we waited.

I'm a newlywed, (was married in February,) but not new to my relationship. I spent the last 10 years getting to know my partner before I asked to marry her. And she refused me twice. It wasn't until gay marriage became legal in our state that we finally decided it was possible.

Marriage isn't about sex. It isn't about money. It isn't about legal matters. (Well... a little.)

Marriage is about love and commitment, at least in my book. Feel free to debate it, lol.

I married my partner because I wanted to show her how much I love her. Neither of us are monogamous. While we were dating, I had a couple other partners on the side that I was seeing. Guys. Unfortunately they solely believed in monogamy no matter how much I told them straight up before we dated that I was polyamorous and already had a girlfriend. One of my boyfriends kept saying, "WHEN you break up with your girlfriend..." and the other kept saying, "You need to end this with your girlfriend if you want us to really be a couple." I didn't want to be a couple. I wanted to be a multiple. And unfortunately the only person who understood that was my wife-to-be.

She is the only one who understands how my crazy brain works and tries to work through my problems with me. In turn, I do the same. We've been through a lot together. I asked her to marry me because I wanted to show her that it's not an act of being tied down. It's one of the biggest acts of love that two people can share between each other. It was my ability to prove that my love for her would last for as long as I knew her.

Even in the future if maybe things don't go as planned, it was still my promise to her that I would love her no matter what.

i believe getting married is a waste of time, pointless and you might as well give up half your life to another person.

Hi ZombieBrideXD

The only thing you don't mention is the "other" person also gives up half their life to you. This is what makes it so beautiful. It may not be for everyone....and you'll have to be very lucky to find the right person.

I've been very lucky.

This Wednesday will be our 54th!

Good point. It's well worth finding out to what degree a prospective partner has a "love me, love my family" attitude. In my case I don't expect my partner to deal with my family if she finds it painful, and let's face it I don't have much to do with them myself. I think it's always good to at least try with in-laws, but it needs to be remembered that they're a random thing, like work colleagues, and so the chances of hitting it off aren't as good as they are with one's chosen sweetheart or a carefully-selected circle of friends. It's a lottery. And if it's not working out with an in-law, and one runs out of ideas for clearing up the problems, I think it's usually better to accept defeat and avoid them. I've had to do that in the past with certain in-laws who have been too judgemental, overbearing or right-wing for me to cope with. I count myself very lucky that my current partner's family and I have so far hit it off reasonably well.

Awwww, it sounds like you've built a relationship and a life that fits you and have surrounded yourself with love.

(Congratulations, by the way!)

The idea of marriage and relationships seems very alien to me. Than again, a lot of things about the human population that seems alien to me.

For those who are not in marriage and don't feel the urge to be, then don't do it. You don't need to justify your choices to anybody, whether you stay single or have a partner that you are not married to. It's a big step and a big adjustment, even with somebody that you really love and feel compatible with. It's probably more of an adjustment for us, for whom all change is big.

I tried dating for years and always found it frustrating. I found my partners boring, stupid, and irritating, and generally dumped the person after a month or less. I tried sex, and found it extremely boring. I couldn't figure out what the fuss was about. I couldn't imagine sharing my living space, let alone my bed, with anyone. I eventually stopped trying to find dates because it wasn't worth the effort. People got crushes on me, but I never felt the same way about them.

I wound up meeting my future spouse because I needed to share an apartment to save on rent. We hit it off immediately, and went from friends to lovers in a few weeks. We've been together for 22 years. It just felt different from the beginning, like there was something important there that wasn't there with anybody else. My point is, if you're meant to be in love, you'll know it when it happens. If it doesn't, that's okay too. The rest of it, like compromising on things, being kind to each other, being honest but not cruel, and working toward a common goal, will still need to be negotiated over time or it it won't last.

I got legally married at age 32, but I had been with my partner (now my husband) for 12 years before that. We're happy, and monogamous (but we have talked about sex with other people; just never felt the need for that). Marriage may simply not be right for you, and that's fine. That's really good, actually.

But, for me, I love being married. My husband is 22 years older than me, and we fit well together because he's calmer than people my age, he can 'father' me when I need it and he can be my equal when I need it.
Life for me would be much harder without him because he is my social shield; he socializes with friends and other people so I don't have to talk much, and he talks to business people for me, like if I need help finding something at the store, he goes and asks someone so I don't have to.
He is also my safety person, which I think every autistic person needs. I can say anything to him and he always listens. I can ask him anything, and he never makes me feel bad for not knowing. I can be completely myself and he never makes fun of me or insults me. He is honest all the time, so I can trust everything he tells me. He helps me understand social situations when I'm having a hard time.

I still need lots of alone time, and he had to learn how to leave me alone without feeling hurt that I didn't want to be around him. But he did, and now he understands that it isn't anything he did wrong, I just need time by myself sometimes. I had to learn how to deal with having someone sleeping in the same bed with me, which was hard, but I learned it and now it doesn't bother me. Marriage is about helping each other; if you can, be strong when they are weak and they can be strong when you are weak.

Exactly this same thing happened with me and my spouse. From the first moment, it was different from any other person I'd ever been with, or been attracted to. It was magnetic. Our relationship still takes work, though; everyone's does. But it's work you want to do.

I have a child and I'm in a long-term relationship. We wish to get married eventually, but right now we're very poor.

To the person who said "Marriage isn't about sex, isn't about money"-- absolutely correct. But when I mentioned about money, I meant the two of you have to have the same HANDLING philosophy, the same approach to how you manage your finances, or it can spell fights and disaster. Meaning if one spends freely and the other is frugal and both of you cannot STAND the other person's approach to these matters, that's a recipe for disaster.

Differing attitudes about the shared household budget can indeed destroy a marriage, and "money arguments" is one of the top reasons among the reasons stated for people in why they are divorcing.

So it's not "money" that's important as in "are you rich?" "Money" matters as in "Do we have the same beliefs about the handling of our money?"

Because when you marry someone YOU DO MARRY THEIR DEBTS, their financial problems and their ability to wipe out both of your ableness to pay the rent that month.

sorry to hear that.

You could try applying your researching skills to finding good deals on things though, compromise