Page 1 of 1 [ 9 posts ] 

BioLife
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 4 Mar 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 57

01 Jul 2016, 8:48 pm

This may be a stupid question, but I've been told numerous times by a diverse set of people that I'm a good listener, easy to talk to, etc. People often share things with me they don't share with other people and thank me for being someone they can talk to about various things. I think for me, it comes down to being an outcast and living in a hyperjudgemental family; I learned what it's like to be denied a voice and be treated like a disease just for sharing my thoughts. Needless to say, it doesn't feel good, so I learned a long time ago that a lot of times the best help you can give someone is to just listen and take in whatever they say.

I'm wondering if perhaps a lot of ASD folks are this way. Are we naturally good listeners?



AnaHitori
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Apr 2016
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Posts: 509
Location: The Internet

01 Jul 2016, 8:56 pm

I space out really badly and forget to listen. >.<

But, people do often say that it's easy to talk to me about their problems. Apparently I seem less judgemental than most people. ^^


_________________
"In this world, there's an invisible magic circle. There's an inside, and an outside. And I am outside." -Anna Sasaki


Jacoby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 10 Dec 2007
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,284
Location: Permanently banned by power tripping mods lol this forum is trash

01 Jul 2016, 9:04 pm

Depends on what you are talking about, I think I do better with deeper conversations so maybe I'm a good listener in that sense. If it's something I don't care about or my mind is preoccupied, I could be thousand miles away.



screen_name
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Oct 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,315

01 Jul 2016, 9:12 pm

I would assume as a whole, ASD folks are less good at listening, but not always.

You seem like a good listener. You've learned from your life and turned it into something positive. That's no small feat. You should feel proud. Not everyone does that.


_________________
So you know who just said that:
I am female, I am married
I have two children (one AS and one NT)
I have been diagnosed with Aspergers and MERLD
I have significant chronic medical conditions as well


Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Age: 121
Gender: Male
Posts: 30,975
Location: Out of my mind

01 Jul 2016, 11:45 pm

Judging by the amount of people who go out of their way to offload their problems onto me, I would say I'm an excellent listener.
I'm sure much of my attraction is that I barely speak to anyone and I'm too polite to tell people to go away, so they probably figure it's safe to tell me anything and I won't throw it back in their face or spread it around.
I'm not sure if I offer much in the way of solutions to their problems. My advice tends to be very simplistic in nature and they seem to want things to be complicated for some reason, but at least they feel better once they've gotten everything off their chest.


_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking


Aristophanes
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Apr 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,603
Location: USA

02 Jul 2016, 12:00 am

We're the perfect listeners since we're off in our own little worlds and the other party can freely monopolize the ineraction. Of course, that doesn't mean we're always paying attention and comprehending what's going on, lol.



nurseangela
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,017
Location: Kansas

02 Jul 2016, 12:13 am

BioLife wrote:
This may be a stupid question, but I've been told numerous times by a diverse set of people that I'm a good listener, easy to talk to, etc. People often share things with me they don't share with other people and thank me for being someone they can talk to about various things. I think for me, it comes down to being an outcast and living in a hyperjudgemental family; I learned what it's like to be denied a voice and be treated like a disease just for sharing my thoughts. Needless to say, it doesn't feel good, so I learned a long time ago that a lot of times the best help you can give someone is to just listen and take in whatever they say.

I'm wondering if perhaps a lot of ASD folks are this way. Are we naturally good listeners?


You sound like an NT girl's dream guy. Sounds like you could endure lots of small talk. :mrgreen:


_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.


foxfield
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 10 Sep 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 276
Location: UK

02 Jul 2016, 9:56 am

Yes, because the details are important and Im good at taking account of every little thing the person is saying and building it into an overall picture.
I'm good at not stereotyping and not jumping to conclusions
I make lots of "mmm hmm" noises to show I am listening.

On the other hand Im bad at making sympathetic facial expressions and perhaps sometimes I go into problem solving mode too easily



ArielsSong
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Mar 2016
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 673
Location: Lancashire, UK

02 Jul 2016, 12:33 pm

If a conversation is deep, or serious, then I'm a good listener. People do say that I'm very easy to talk to and I offer good advice.

Casual conversation? No. I'd like to be, and I really do care, but I end up scripting what I need to say next or thinking about how the conversation is going, and suddenly realise I'm appearing very distracted and missing a lot of it.