Too Aspie for NT-land, too NT for Aspie-land.

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Like other Aspies, I can't socialize with people, I have obsessive interests, I have executive functioning deficits, and I have sensory issues, but unlike a lot of them, my IQ is merely average, and one of my special interests is baseball, an NT interest if there ever was one. I get along better with other Aspies, but I can't do that "deep talk" that people here say they cherish because of my mediocre intellect; instead, I just find myself listening to people and barely talking because I don't know how to respond and progress the conversation. And the few friends I have, while not on the spectrum, are very close to it and don't like sports, but since NTs don't seem to like me much, I don't have anyone to talk about baseball with. My therapist mentioned this too, that I'm sort of caught in the middle between NT and Aspie, and I can't fully bond with either of them because of that, thus increasing my isolation. Anyone else have this problem?

You are a valuable person,
whether Aspie, NT, right in the middle,
regardless of how much of one or the other.
You're unique.
Just be your best self.

I'm not a Genius Aspie, either. I'm very average.

Frankly, people are sometimes "too intelligent for their own good." At times, they get bogged down in abstract theory and veer away from the true essence of things.

I am just too "dianthus" for anybody-land.

Yeah I understand what you mean about being caught in the middle. I feel like whatever my interests are, there is something about my attitude or approach to it that sets me apart from anyone else with the same interest. And in general I just don't converse easily with people about anything.

<--- That's why he's on WP cos he's a nut.

Yeah, I get this too. I dunno about my intelligence (it's... above average, I think?) but in terms of personality and behavior I tend to land somewhere between NTs and aspies, which can make me feel uncomfortable with both groups. I get along better with NTs, but I'm at a disadvantage in those interactions and they can be draining even if I enjoy them (the fact that I do enjoy them is another thing that's unusual for an aspie). There's also some things they just don't quite get, which is why I come here.

I understand how you feel, I am a similar spot. I display the typical intellectual impairments of autistic disorders but am capable of being aware of them every single second of the day. I don't have the gift of being unaware of my low intelligence which is a major part of asperger syndrome.

http://www.autismcalgary.com/what-is-asd/myths-facts/

Yes, people with aspergers and autism are intellectual disabled. How many times have you all comepletely missed something or forgot a basic detail or have been unable to use reason to find an answer to something under pressure.
We often have significant intellectual problems in learning, understanding and applying a variety of types of knowledge and skills, even though we may be able to memorize large amounts of information and delude ourselves into thinking we are just as smart as anyone NT.

@ JohnnyH



As for our intelligence and what not, I think that just like NT, everyone on the spectrum has a different level of intelligence. I will say, I have issues connecting with people as well. I've only really made four close friends (including my girlfriend) through my special interests / talking to them about those special interests and moved on the conversation from there by listening to what they were saying and asking a few questions about a detail or two. If you're looking for people to meet up with and talk baseball about, there's a website called Meetup and it shows local groups in your area that connect with your interests. I'm not sure if it will help with the loneliness or issues connecting with people.

I'm not a savant or educated. When I say I like a 'deep' conversation I mean one that goes beyond social chit-chat which bores me to death in about 2 seconds. I like a conversation with some substance. I think you worry too much.

I'm not sure your therapist is helping any.

Johnnyh, thinks to be able to make expert claims when he admits low intelligence which can mean that his comprehension is bad, therefore making his proclaimation for naught. On a crystallized level, I soak up information like a sponge. I also tested to be highly gifted on a logical mathematic level, yet only average on a verbal level. While socially I do not have significant problems, I dont like people and avoid them. I am not trying to sound high and mighty though. I am just trying to prove johnnyh isnt an expert.

I side with neither... I'm too "neutral". My personality, aptitude, and "style" contradicts or mismatches either-'land'. At the same time, I adapt both and sometimes I do 'better' as most people say.

I don't feel like I got caught in the middle, I simply choose neither. I want to be beyond what is NT and what is aspie.

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I feel similar to the OP. My (not totally off the wall weird) obsession is sports. However, I am a semi-geek. I recently went to a geek gathering and while I never felt unwelcome, it was hard to relate to the average geek (even they had friends in High School!!). For example, I would never do cosplay and I hate Star Trek, the opposite of my Star Trek obsessed brother and father.

I'm somewhat geeky yet love sports and am insanely competitive, however I don't drink, smoke or do drugs nor was I a womanizer like many athletes I know. Luckily I'm married to someone who equally doesn't fit into any category although she can't stand sports of any kind. I have struggled my whole life to fit in because I am weird, but not weird enough for the freaks and geeks of the world to fully embrace me. It doesn't help that I am rather blue-collarish and enjoy working on those types of jobs: more than one person has mentioned how weird that is.

Oh, and OP, my former friend is a probable Aspie, definite geek and OCD with a capital O and was utterly obsessed with baseball. That's literally all we ever did together: play Xbox baseball games because that's all he ever wanted to do.

I thought no one on WP would relate to me because I don't like sci-fi much, have never been to a comic con, am not--and could never be-- an engineer, etc, but I was wrong. Those are stereotypes, and we have to be careful about stereotyping ourselves. We get enough of that from other people already. I'm finding a lot of diversity among the neurodiverse. I know next to nothing about sports, but I've met plenty on the spectrum who do have one one or more sports as their interest, now that I think about it. No matter what you like, you fit. I like 18th century opera.