asymmetric mind

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A compulsive habit of mine is to soak up information from various places, usually online, but also from books and other sources. Though my ability to do this has been somewhat curtailed for the past year due to depression, I'm currently working back towards my old habit of absorbing the sum totality of human knowledge in 12 hour blocks.

The problem is that I can never seem to get it out again in a practical manner. My mind is swimming with esoteric theories and technical information, but I don't know how to apply any of it. It's all very well knowing the light response curve of plants, the effects of gravitation topology on space travel and the operational principles of heat engines, but I feel like I've got no practical skillls. My understanding of the universe far exceeds my ability to interact with and modify it.

Even doing geography at uni didn't help. It just filled me up with more theory and knowlege without contributing much to my practical abilities.

I've considered doing courses; there was a woodworking course that started a few weeks ago, but the start coincided with a rough patch in my cyclical depression, so I missed it. I also feel insecure about commiting myself to things at the moment, since I know I'm going to have periods where I can't face the world. The depression is getting better, but days on which I feel comfortable with going out and doing things are still the exception, rather than the rule.

Good for you! I tend to research things a lot online. It has been a habit for mine for awhile.

i obsessively research subjects that noone else in the world has any interest in. there's no other purpose than to please my mind, which likes to try to understand things.

the pieces start to fall together for me, like little moments of epiphany, just letting my mind play with all these silly facts... i don't know, it's like things tetris into place sometimes. trying to understand the big things by absorbing as much as i can of the little ones. i don't have alot of practical life experience, so books and computers fill up otherwise empty spaces.

even if it doesn't ever amount to anything practical for the rest of the world, it feels good just to learn things that intrest me.

Opportunities to apply such knowledge will arise in due time, I think. It all adds up in preparation for a better life ahead, when such occassions present themselves.

Onward through the fog!

I also enjoy researching information, swelling up knowledge and improving my intellectual physique. But I also dream of applying it, and that is why I am desperate to build a coracle.

The woodworking course sounds good. I wish I knew a few things about wood rather than a load of stuff out of books. I think you make a good point - you've got to have practical skills too.

I've just had to teach myself how to use a power drill and I'm middle aged, gah.

A coracle? Any reason for a coracle in particular? I'd love to be able to build all sorts of wierd and wonderful things. I feel trapped by my inability to do so.



Things aren't helped by my mum (yes, I know I'm 21, but...). She has a great fear of pretty much everything, and is terrified to let me even put up shelves in case I damage the wall. Her attitude towards life is very much one of 'never ever do anything if it could possibly fail'. I used to bring up the idea of getting a stall at a car boot sale occasionally, but the response I got was always "But you could actually lose money!". As a result, I've had precious little oppertunity to learn how to anything of a practical or entrepenurial nature. My dad was never around to teach me anything either (drunk, depressive prescription junkie, parents divorced at 9).

Yeah my mum was very negative, her response to anything was always 'no' or a comment on the likelihood that one would fail! I think there's something about parenting that makes people very negative. Or perhaps to them, no action requires no action on their part, whereas if one was to undertake something, it might require action on their part.

You know, I'm sure depresssion is a national characteristic in Scots, I've met or known a few (expats) and uh, I'm sure it's higher than other national average depression rates, so I think you'd find 'fellow travellers' at any course you care to do. It's just a question of whether it affects your concentration or memory.

The reason for a coracle is because they are so awesome! Come on, they rule. You can fish in them, travel and protest in them. They have outraced sailing ships on the Thames, they have caught sturgeon etc. They are soooooooo brilliant! CORACLES FOREVER!

Hard to argue with a boat that you can wear:

I took woodshop in HS and I had a blast!


Try taking a class at your community college if they offer one. If that dosen't suit your fancy (they can be quite regimented at times) try a ceramics class, which is more openended.

Oooooo.... ceramics! I'd love to try making mechanical bits and bobs out of ceramics, rather than the usual arty stuff. I could get a giant kiln and sculpt a submarine from clay.

I'm at a workshop at the moment on search-engine optimisation, which is proving quite good, but it's not exactly a 'hands-on' thing. It took me an hour and a half of cycling to get here to, since it's about 15km away from where I live with a fairly complex route between to two points. It's buried away in a knarly industrial park in an inner-city area, and I kept getting lost in housing estates. Hopefully getting home will be easier (despite being uphill).

Excellent.