Changes and feeling lost

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Hey,

I know having trouble with change is an 'Aspie thing' but I wonder how strong these problems are for you guys.

I have a very hard time 'letting go' of things. I changed my job and had the first day today and just feel miserable. I know it's always the case after I lose a familiar surrounding and enter a new one, so it doesn't necessarily mean anything. But whenever something changes like that I just feel so lost and hopeless. It's everytime and it usually turns out better after a few weeks but the first time is always really tough for me.

Yes I feel lost whenever something changes like that. And it can make me feel kind of like my whole life is over. It feels like my brain has to remap my entire life and daily routine, not just the thing that changed. It can take me awhile to adjust.

I'm sorry you're feeling that way. Hang in there...I know it probably sounds trite to say that but it will get better.

don't worry your not alone, i feel lost, confused and even sad when changes happen to me, but my mind is so sensitive to the slightest changes that barely effect me. like theres a decking in my backgarden, my mother and sister removed the banister thats on it (the wooden railing) to get better access to the garden, that banister had been there most of the time of me growing up, it felt.....absurd and hallow that that had to change, even now i still can't quiet accept it. its like the time before that when they painted it blue (bright blue uughhh gross) that was so....disturbing and harder then it probably should be to deal with.

Probably more down than I ever have been after I moved into my new place this year, still struggling

big change is always very hard to deal with, it dredges up all types of awfulness that you thought was sunk for good

I find it hard to adapt to change as well, and often feel lonely or unhappy as a result.

There were times where growing up caused me to move on in life and leave certain things behind, which I really liked and I had trouble adapting without them. One example is that I left school about a month or two ago and I miss all of my friends and TAs, whom I will probably never see again after I went home from my prom. I often look and back at my younger self and see how fun it was, and then fast forward to me now wondering what will happen next in my life.

That explains why change is difficult for me and it makes me feel lost as a result, which is kinda sad

Changes are painful for me too. I enjoy my routine, its peace and its calm. But every now and then a change occurs and it pisses me off. But when it comes to a major change, oh boy, it hurts. I feel terrible, useless and lost. So you are not the only one with changeophobia! I usually try to convince myself that what is coming next will be better, that change is good. Hard at first, but I manage to con myself easily!

Minor changes, I really struggle with. Little changes to routine. Little things done differently.

Big changes excite me. I love total upheavals - a house move, a major routine change. I see them as fresh starts and a chance to live a different lifestyle each time, which suits me well.

It's been six months since I left my last job and I'm still struggling with resisting going back there to visit everyday and asking for it back.

Trust me, I get it.

I love change. Maybe that perspective could help you?
This topic is always weird to me - I have my repetitious behaviour, like watching the same films or scenes from films millions of times, listening to the same songs on repeat, eating the same foods all the time, etc. But at the same time, stagnation in life absolutely kills me and I have to change a lot, and often, to stay sane.
Good things about change from my perspective = 1. Change brings new things, new experience and topics, into life which serve to occupy my mind away from destructive self-obsessing 2. New situations open me up for learning new skills, new ways of dealing with things, which make me better at coping in general 3. It actually makes me feel like I'm living a life, with distinct differences such as living in a certain place, instead of everything just continuing in a blur 4. Change mixes up and alleviates aggregates of place - like a neighbour who constantly plays loud music, or a job with a lot of paperwork, or even the route to drive to a parking space with an impossible right-hand turn. When you change, all the little things that used to annoy you in that situation are cleaned out 5. Change can make you aware of better ways to do things that you never would have known about stuck in your old situation -
I could go on and on. In my opinion, so long as you are prepared and your new situation is still going to meet all your needs, it can be a great thing. Embrace it?

when i went to college and had to move to a big city, from the mid-sized town where i had always lived, i went nearly psychotic... sometimes if i'm forced to change the placement of something on my desk, that alone can be enough to prevent me from focusing properly for a while. or not. it depends a lot on my stress levels

but i need and crave change and novelty just as much as i need and crave safety and stability. both are strong forces. balancing them is hard, but not impossible. i'm generally much more cautious than the average person, and i live an extremely restricted daily life. but from time to time i do things that people call me crazy for and say "wow, i wish i had the guts to do that". big risks, but carefully and extensively calculated

i like to remember when the immigration agent interviewed me and asked me a billion standard-protocol questions, and i answered them all thoroughly and truthfully. he was like "wow. i mean... wow. well, good luck then!" it was like my version of a graduation

i think what really matters there isn't change or sameness, but a sense of control. whichever gives you a sense of control will make you feel better. so it depends on the situation

Glad to see I'm not alone.. it was a tiny bit better today. But the thing is that I got this new job bc I wanted to improve my situation, and now I'm not so sure anymore if it is really an improvement. It appears I am doing pretty much the same thing, just in a much smaller company with a somewhat more loose structure. The pay is much better though, can't deny that, also a reason for why I would hesitate to go back. But yeah, I've 'lost' all my friends from the old job and the surroundings are a bit less exciting so like? I'm not sure if I really regret it or not? At the moment it doesn't feel like I want to stay here for very long which would be unfortunate because I also already got a new flat which is closer to this job but somewhat further from everything else.

uuugh. No, change is absolutely not exciting for me ever. I mean I don't have any problem with 'small' changes. But throwing away a situation I am used to and feel safe in for something completely uncertain.. terrible.

You are certainly not alone in this regard.

After moving in over 4 months ago, I am still struggling to settle into my new home. I sorely miss my mother, niece and their dog. If anything, this transition has exacerbated my difficulties as I now seldom speak to anyone. Consequently I am forgetting how to communicate.