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Social skills

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Aniihya
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28 Jul 2016, 1:17 pm

As we know, autists have bad social skills as their social capabilities are not intuitive. Suprisingly, since I took a different approach that doesn't require intuition, I can at least come across as a sympathetic person towards NTs. Yet surprisingly, the people I do not get along with well are other autists.

Have you found ways to be more sociable or more agreeable?



eggheadjr
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28 Jul 2016, 2:22 pm

I've learned a few things over the years that seem to help:

- let people talk, especially when they are upset. Often they just need someone to hear what they have to say.
- Don't reply right away with 'your story'. Talk to them about 'their story' that they just told you. Ask questions. When you both have exhausted talking about their story, then they'll be open to hearing your story
- Try not to offer advice if it's not asked for. Everyone is quick to try to 'solve the problem' but often people when they tell you something just want someone to listen to 'their story'.

I try to do those three things (not always successful however). I've found it's really helped in my communication with others.


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SocOfAutism
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29 Jul 2016, 10:08 am

eggheadjr wrote:
I've learned a few things over the years that seem to help:

- let people talk, especially when they are upset. Often they just need someone to hear what they have to say.
- Don't reply right away with 'your story'. Talk to them about 'their story' that they just told you. Ask questions. When you both have exhausted talking about their story, then they'll be open to hearing your story
- Try not to offer advice if it's not asked for. Everyone is quick to try to 'solve the problem' but often people when they tell you something just want someone to listen to 'their story'.

I try to do those three things (not always successful however). I've found it's really helped in my communication with others.


My husband and his brother (both aspies) used to get into red faced arguments whenever they talked to each other. Despite being very similar, having the same values, not dissimilar interests. My husband started practicing what eggheadjr is talking about and I noticed that his brother quickly modeled the same behavior. It really helped. They get along well now.