Why do introverts think everyone's an introvert?

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DevilKisses
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05 Aug 2016, 2:23 pm

What I mean is, why do introverts desperately want to consider a lot of people introverts? I'm probably mostly extroverted, but I'm forced to live an introverted lifestyle. This makes me very miserable. Growing up people constantly told me to shut up. That makes me talk less and act less outgoing than I naturally am. This makes social interactions draining. Those things make me seem way more introverted than I truly am. When I'm able to act like my extroverted self, I'm way happier. It's just hard when the whole world wants me to shut up and act like an introvert. Or at least my family does.


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Danae
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05 Aug 2016, 2:35 pm

Well, if that can you make you feel better, I don't. I feel, bodily feel too often, that most people are extroverts. Sometimes annoyingly, like being in your personal space around you like you're buddies.


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05 Aug 2016, 2:39 pm

Sorry if that sounded rude. I'm surprised you can't find more people extroverted the way you said you are. They do exist, plenty. Stick to it, you'll find them.


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05 Aug 2016, 3:02 pm

People are more interested in talking that listening.

It takes a lot of skill be be an interesting talker that people want to listen to.



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05 Aug 2016, 3:05 pm

In my experience, the opposite is true: introverts are very conscious of the fact that they are a minority. It's the extroverts who seem to think that everyone is (or should be) an extrovert.


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Danae
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05 Aug 2016, 3:27 pm

Fact: you'll never find someone just like you.

Fact: there are tolerent and accepting people. People who love you or can AND don't want to change you (although when family members try, it's mainly for love, just missing the zest).

Thinking: introverts and extroverts can tolerate and work together, be together. Respect of the other's needs.

Thinking: express your needs in a concise not overly aggressive way.

Thoughts?


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05 Aug 2016, 3:37 pm

I always feel like it's quite the opposite -- extroverts seem to think everyone's an extrovert, or that they ought to be.


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05 Aug 2016, 3:45 pm

DevilKisses wrote:
When I'm able to act like my extroverted self, I'm way happier.

i find that the reverse is true for me. i'm naturally more expressive when i'm happier. and when there's pressure for me to be expressive, it makes me unhappy


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Danae
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05 Aug 2016, 3:49 pm

True self confidence is hard to reach, is it. Be well in the world the way you are is underrated. Actually studying that.


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naturalplastic
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05 Aug 2016, 4:49 pm

Youre asking us to explain something that does not exist.

Most people, introvert, or extrovert alike, operate under the assumption that most people are extroverts.

Never observed, nor have I ever heard of anyone until now, who ever observed introverts assuming that everyone is an introvert. No point in trying to find an explanation for something that does not exist.

Sounds like you and your family could use some counsuling if they always tell you to "shut up"(whether they tell you that in those words or not). The problem could be as much with the things that you say (or how you say them) as it might be with them. But regardless of which party is more at fault something is wrong communication in your family. Especially if its causing you to feel that stifled.



DevilKisses
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05 Aug 2016, 11:42 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
Youre asking us to explain something that does not exist.

Most people, introvert, or extrovert alike, operate under the assumption that most people are extroverts.

Never observed, nor have I ever heard of anyone until now, who ever observed introverts assuming that everyone is an introvert. No point in trying to find an explanation for something that does not exist.

Sounds like you and your family could use some counsuling if they always tell you to "shut up"(whether they tell you that in those words or not). The problem could be as much with the things that you say (or how you say them) as it might be with them. But regardless of which party is more at fault something is wrong communication in your family. Especially if its causing you to feel that stifled.

I should have phrased it a bit differently. Why do introverts think every socially awkward person is an introvert? Why do they assume that being extroverted makes you magically have social skills and fit into society? My family doesn't literally tell me to shut up, but they hate how much I talk. They're happiest when I pretend to be introverted. Maybe the world just prefers me to act like an introvert. Since the extroverted side of me is hated and belittled so much. I guess I have to be socially starved for the rest of my life.


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naturalplastic
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06 Aug 2016, 1:38 am

Someone else posted something like that.

Someone started a thread about the question "are all aspies introverts", and one guy said "I started out as an extrovert and then became an introvert because" everything he did was wrong socially, and always went bad.

So I guess that that guy was a 'socially awkward extrovert' originally.



DevilKisses
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06 Aug 2016, 2:01 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
Someone else posted something like that.

Someone started a thread about the question "are all aspies introverts", and one guy said "I started out as an extrovert and then became an introvert because" everything he did was wrong socially, and always went bad.

So I guess that that guy was a 'socially awkward extrovert' originally.

He probably still is one. You usually don't become an introvert. Your extroversion just gets masked by social anxiety or illnesses. I've heard of regular extroverted NTs becoming "introverted" after getting Lyme's disease or chronic fatigue.


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naturalplastic
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06 Aug 2016, 5:03 pm

I know a guy like that!

An electrician with a good job, but he suddenly started to go a little cuckoo. Saw a UFO, and he then got obsessed with photographing the aliens he kept seeing in his backyard (which no one but him could see in his photgraphs).

His live in girlfriend finnally got him to go to a doctor. He got dx and treated for lyme disease. Apparently he had taken his dog on hikes in the woods one too many times and got himself bitten by a lyme disease tick.

So he is back to normal...sorta. Lost one job but got another good job, and doesnt see aliens anymore. But.. he and his gf used to throw great parties,and have lotsa friends. This guy seems to hang by himself now. Doesnt seem to have any friends anymore.



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08 Aug 2016, 9:24 pm

I agree.

Introverts do recognize the majority of the population are Extraverted, but I've come across introverts who are particularly intruding and aggressive in trying to convince someone slightly introverted or someone who seems introverted (but is actually not) that they are also an introvert, and to not be 'ashamed' of it and to 'embrace' it.

I do not get along with, relate to, or understand the vast majority of introverts at all, how they think, or why they are the way they are. Therefore, I am not an introvert.

Same thing with Extraverts.

For I am a balance of both.

But some of the introverts I've come across suggest because I spend all my time indoors (because I have no reason to go out), and because I don't spend much time with friends (because they all live too far away to visit often, and some introverts then claim I only have 'online friends' when I have none, and it's friends I met in real life first), and because of my anxiety due to Aspergers, I am an 'introvert'.

Introversion and Extraversian are both attitudes, not lifestyles.

There can be an extravert with no friends suffering from severe depression so he never goes out to bars or outdoors stuff because he has no motivation, and there can be an introvert with lots of friends who goes out to bars and parties every weekend but feels very drained and mentally exhausted afterwards so he spends the rest of his week just at work and home.

More people need to recognize things like this instead of making generalizations.