How long should I wait for a referral? (UK)

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I really hope it's OK to post this here, but I'm a little stressed out right now, and I'm guessing some people must be going through this (or maybe some people here have been through this in the past) I really have no clue here.

After seeing my doctor a few months back, I got a letter through to say I would have to book an appointment with a clinical psychologist. A few weeks later, I received yet another letter to state the appointment had been cancelled. I was really annoyed by that, but when I went back to talk my doctor he said that they had looked over all of the notes he'd sent along (on all of my symptoms) and they decided it was okay to go ahead with a referral to a local team near my area. He then told me that he would put everything through and refer me. It's been a few months, but I assumed it could take quite a while. My mother says I should check up again, but I hate pestering and I'm scared I seem too impatient and it would come across as rude. Plus, I don't know how long these things usually take for most people.

Any words of advice or information? I would really appreciate it.
And I hope this post is clear. :/

After a few months, I wouldn't call it pestering. It's fair enough to check to see what's going on.

You think? I'm so bad when it comes to this stuff... I never know what's appropriate, haha. If I'm being completely honest, I usually rely on my mother to tell me, but she has no idea here. Thank you for your response!

You're welcome! If they say "we don't know yet", just ask them for a time frame. If they don't give you one, maybe try phoning every few weeks. They won't think bad of you for wanting to stay on top of things.

Great advice. Thanks! I'm actually going to make a note of this because this seems reasonable.
As you can probably tell, I'm not very assertive! :p

Hehe, I know that feeling veeery well!

Well maybe my case is out of the ordinary but I got referred directly to the local diagnostic service by my Doctor, they made me fill out a few questionnaire's about my history and such, then I got an appointment for mid-June. So the wait time is about three months for me. I think you're within your rights to call them up if they haven't got back to you yet.

Ah, thank you for letting me know!

I would definitely chase up your GP (in writing) because yours wouldn't be the first case I'd heard of GPs "forgetting" to refer for autism assessment, and also the people who cancelled your appointment (again, in writing), because it doesn't appear that you have had any written confirmation from the place you are supposed to be assessed by and they may have referred straight across. Something is wrong with this, you should have at least received an acknowledgement letter from the assessment clinic and if you cover both bases you should get to the bottom of what happened, by writing to the people who cancelled your appointment the GP can't "accidentally" fail to refer you if he hasn't already. Usually waiting lists are pretty long, so if they have stuffed up every day you leave it means you will have an extremely long wait overall. It's possible everything's OK and nothing untoward has happened, but in my experience the NHS are crap so you need to get things in writing.

If you know the assessment clinic (if you let me know your town I can check for you) you could approach them direct too.

Wow, thank you so much for this. I really appreciate all the help. I have all the info on the assessment clinic my doctor said he'd be referring me to, so I will contact them, too.

So, I thought I would just leave a message here. After a long, long wait, I was diagnosed on Wednesday. I was asked how I felt after I received my formal diagnosis, and all I could say was 'I feel grateful.' - It's a huge relief to just know. All the little things add up and now I feel less anxious.

To all the people seeking a diagnosis or answers, I wish you all the best and hope it all goes well for you. I understand how frustrating it can be to wait or get the go ahead from doctors and therapists, but you deserve answers.

Never give up!

3+ years?! Good grief.

That makes me feel incredibly appreciative of the speed of the process for me.

Congratulations on getting your answer. And for holding out that long for it without breaking!