I can't handle the sound of kids in supermarkets

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Most noise I can filter out, but I just cannot ignore the sound of small children, especially in supermarkets. They drive me insane, and I have to resist the urge to yell "SHUT THE f**k UP!! !!" or "PLEASE GET YOUR BRAT AWAY FROM ME!! !!"

Yes I know they are 'only children' and 'can't help it' because 'it's what children do', but that still doesn't make me tolerate them. I mean, if there was a wasp flying right near you, you don't just sit there and go, "oh, it's just a wasp, I can't help it if it stings me, it's what they do." So that's how I feel about kids.

Today at the supermarket about 90% of people there had at least 2 kids with them, and it was bedlam. They were making sudden screeching sounds, running up and down the aisles, demanding their parents, sitting or laying on the floor, fooling around, walking into you, fighting with one another, and every toddler I saw was having a tantrum. I couldn't bear it. Why do they hate the supermarket so much? My mum said I never misbehaved in public places like that - and I had behaviour issues. I think it was because when I was little, kids used to get told off by staff in supermarkets if they were seen misbehaving, and most kids listen when adults who aren't their parents yell at them.

I'd hate to see a child hurt, but at the same time I can't bear the sound and the unpredictability of them! Anyone feel the same?

Yes I relate to this. I have nothing against children, they even seem to like me when interacting, and I like the well behaved ones. But in the scenario you describe, I too find the unpredictability very unnerving, and the noises can be startling. The other day in a store a family walked past me in the aisle, and precisely at the moment the smaller kid was passing right by me, he let out an ear-splitting scream that was like the highest register before actual "dog whistle" -- and LOUD, to boot.

I honestly couldn't suppress myself from actually stopping in my tracks and my shoulders hunched up and my face screwed up, so painful and startling was this sudden loud, high scream. I didn't even try to hide how I felt from the dad, who was following behind.

I know kids can be a handful when parents have no option but to take the whole family to the store. But seriously, if they could only get them not to make loud noises, and also please no running around. There are some parents who let their kids treat the place like an everything-goes playground, running and skidding and screaming and even bouncing balls from the toy aisle. And my local store actually never does anything about it! It's not pleasant for me.

I try to go to the store at a time of day, and a day of the week, when it's less likely that many children will be there, particularly in term-time. But there's not much you can do during holiday time like we are still in now in the UK.

I also don't like to go in the evening when kids probably won't be there; my store is in a known bad area that's okay by day but actually dangerous by night, and I'm on my own.

Yes. Most of the time I have a pretty low tolerance threshold for loud kids, and I can get wound up a treat by them very quickly.

Very young children do have incredibly loud voices, they seem to go through a phase where they find it great fun to squeal as loudly as they possibly can. And the pitch is very hard to ignore.

I've often wondered why things evolved that way. I guess it's akin to a smoke alarm - it's an emergency device that is admittedly very annoying but it has to be that loud to save lives.

I can cope with it better if I'm well-focussed on the task of shopping (strong focus on an absorbing task often makes me relatively immune to the rest of my environment). Conversely, it's worse when I'm just basically following my partner round the shops while she buys what she wants, and my brain is relatively free to be at the mercy of the soundscape. Luckily for me, my partner can't stand the sound of screaming kids any better than I can, so if we encounter one, at least she can empathise with my adverse reaction. I can cope better if I happen to be feeling relaxed. So if I'm shopping alone, I'm likely to be slightly more tolerant of noise because I can more easily get out of it if there's nobody with me to negotiate this with.

Have you tried going to the store when it first opens in the morning--or around 7AM if it is open all day? Parents with kids are late--it is impossible for them to be there when the store first opens!

I also can't handle the kids at the supermarket. They run up and down the isles and they run into everyone that they see. Whatever happened to a good old-fashioned spanking?

This is good advice! I do my shopping at times of the day when the supermarket's quiet. 8 PM works pretty well for me, I nearly have the entire supermarket to myself. I only need to go in earlier if I want fresh bread.

Saturday between 16 and 18 hours is the worst time.

I have been at the supermarket at about 8 in the morning, and already there was mothers with toddlers in there! The only time to avoid them for sure is to go in the night, but I don't like going out at night.

Yes, but isn't there less bedlam earlier in the morning, making the situation more tolerable?

Going at 7am seems like it might be the perfect time in terms of avoiding kids -- except that, speaking for myself, that would take such an out-of-the-ordinary effort that I woudn't be able to get there at that time. I have executive functioning problems so bad that even when i get everything ready the night before, I find it hard to be anywhere at a very early hour such as 7am. I normally get up at 7 but I function so badly I'm lucky if I still get out of the house within two hours.

To me, the supermarket is like going to an amusement park. It's full of people, lights, and sounds. Very overwhelming.

And, yes, I can't stand the shrills that children make. It's very nerve racking.

The shrill tones, and when they run around berserk -- I have muscle pain that means that if I knock into anything or if anything or anyone knocks into me, the pain is so severe that I'm the one making the shrill noise, lol! Seriously, it's a fear of mine when a kid is running crazy, that they are going to bump me and cause agony. That's the trouble with an invisible injury/chronic pain nobody can see to be careful around you.

Might I suggest gently reporting the problem to a store employee if you can? No one likes screaming kids, but nobody's gonna do anything about it unless someone speaks up (bystander effect). Tell them that the noises bother you, and that you might not be able to continue going to this particular store.
If you're brave enough, you can also reprimand the kids yourself.

I understand. I work out of a big box store as a merchandiser and it can be hell. I have to concentrate sometimes and if there are screaming kids I get near a meltdown state. I have discovered that headphones and ativan help if I have a busy day. Also summers are the worst because all of the kids are out of school.

I think going shopping early or late at night is great advice.

Headphones for sure!

I hate that too. Now that I am retired I can go to the supermarket at a less busy time, when most people are at work or in school. But I remember how draining it used to be on a busy Saturday morning or late afternoon, after work.

We recently tried online ordering with home delivery, and I have to say, I think this has a future. The delivery charge was only $5 or free if your order was over $100. To be able to select your order on your own terms, and not have to deal with travel, carrying groceries in, long lines, and screaming babies, was probably worth the $5. I fully anticipate using the service a lot during our bitter winter.

Absolutely. I can't stand children. I also equally can't stand idle parents, who don't raise a finger when their children are running riot. If a young child is legitimately having a tantrum and screaming and crying and flailing and the parent is trying to pacify them and the child just keeps on screaming, it's loud sure and I will move away from it - but they're trying their best, and young kids can just drop off the deep end like this and there's nothing you can do. If there are two oarents, however, I really would expect one to take the child outside.
But the situation you're describing is the parents' fault in my view. They're not even trying to control their kids, and explain that when indoors in a public place like this, you have to learn to keep your voice down and be aware of respecting others around you.
No. They don't care. Their kids are allowed to do whatever they like and scream and run and make life as uncomfortable for others as possible, and no one gets to say a word. Disgraceful. That and for some unknown reason mentioned above, every single person seems to have at least two children. Don't get me started on the ethics of over-breeding in our species.
I generally go shopping at night, when at least some of these children have to be in bed.