Ability to accurately predict that something will do wrong.

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Aspie1
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25 Sep 2016, 1:16 pm

First, a quick disclaimer: While I won't discredit anyone's reply based on their lack of AS, I'm specifically looking for input from aspies.

Does anyone on here have the ability to accurately predict that something will go wrong? Especially when everyone else in the group blithely ignored any and all possibilities of something going wrong. In my case, every time I predicted something going wrong, it came true 100%. My friends always blamed it on a coincidence, or worse, Law of Attraction, which undermined my trust for them.

Consider this example. We're hanging out at my friend's apartment, deciding what to do. We're almost decided on heading over to a nearby Hooters restaurant for a late dinner. No cover, reasonable food and drink prices, and cute waitresses. Nothing can go wrong. Until... one person opens his big mouth, and suggests driving downtown to go to some fancy club. Immediately, I get an "Uh oh! Something bad will happen, we better not go!! !" feeling. Everyone else jumps at the idea with sickeningly exuberant enthusiasm. They all ignore my protests, we pile into the car, and start driving over. Then...
1. On the way over, we get stuck in 10-mile bumper-to-bumper traffic, at 11:00 PM.
2. When we get to the club, there's a 45-minute line to get in.
3. When our turn comes, we're told there's a $20 cover charge.
4. Soon after we get in, we're told to leave, because we're underdressed for the place.
5. We have to argue to get our cover charge back, and in the end, they only agree to refund us half.
6. We find another bar that's more up my alley, but it's closed for a private event.
7. We find a 24-hour restaurant to just sit in, but the food is expensive and unhealthy.
8. My friends refuse to believe that I was right all along.

Another example. A group of former colleagues invited me hang out with them. First, we go to a chicken wing place to eat dinner. Later, one guy decides to take the evening over to some swanky club five miles away. I suggest just hanging at the sports bar longer, but they gush about how cool the club is. My gut feeling is screaming "No!! !", but being too naive, I ignore it, and follow them in my car. When we arrive...
1. There's a $3 valet parking charge, and I think valet parking is the spawn of Satan.
2. There's a $10 cover charge to get in.
3. There's a $1 coat check fee.
4. Drinks are expensive, much more than at the place from earlier.
5. The whole group wants to just sit and talk, sit and talk, sit and talk, sit and talk, sit and talk, ad nauseam.
6. I want to dance. Nobody else wants to get on the dance floor.
7. I leave feeling angry and frustrated, but liquor stores are closed, and I can't get vodka to calm myself.
8. I kick myself for letting them talk me into coming along to that club.

These are just two out of many examples. Many! Every time, I knew for a fact that something will definitely go wrong. And it always came true. Like clockwork. But no one else wanted to believe me, even if after that very thing went wrong, and I always suffered for it the worst. So, two questions:
1. Does anyone else have that ability to predict things going wrong, where it always comes true?
2. Why do other people dislike that ability?



btbnnyr
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25 Sep 2016, 1:50 pm

If you do something involving a bunch of steps, it is not a special ability to predict that something will go wrong or not exactly as you imagined it.


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25 Sep 2016, 1:55 pm

I haven't been diagnosed yet but if predicting the future is an Aspie trait I haven"t got it. But my girlfriend said I have some sort of 6th sense in recognising bad people , I cant explain it but I feel I know who not to trust although I do have trust issues so religously dont trust anyone if that makes sense.

Now I"m not saying you cant predict the future but there is another explanation. People have bad feelings about things all the time so if your gut feeling about something is strong it can be very convincing and your mind will try and validate it for you by highlighting anything negative that happens. If you hadn"t had those feelings would the night of gone any differently? Probably not but the way your mind interepted the night would of been different. It almost like a self fulfilling prophecy , if you keep thinking something's going to be bad it probably will be as you won"t be able to judge objectively as you"ve already made you mind up. Having said all that I"m a big believer in never say never , you could well be a clairvoyant ( can I have next weeks lottery numbers please , don't post them here as I don't want to share the jackpot )


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AspieUtah
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25 Sep 2016, 2:05 pm

Well, when I lived in the San Francisco Bay Area some years ago, I (and my partner) learned rather quickly that I could predict earthquakes. Don't laugh. After some survey of the research about it all, of course, I learned that many animals (and a relative few humans) are able to sense an earthquake's silent P-wave. After one large earthquake, I was able to sense the dozens of P-waves about five seconds before the S-wave (the actual motion wave) arrived. I thought it was incredible fun and kept waking up my partner all night long. His interest waned after the first two "predictions." Hehe. I saw his point. Predicting an earthquake just five seconds away isn't a superpower or anything, but it entertains me.


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25 Sep 2016, 2:23 pm

From the OP's story, most of the negatives were about cost. Anywhere upscale/trendy/swanky is going to involve shelling out more cash. Just stick to casual places with your friends, and beg off on the higher end establishments. :shrug:



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25 Sep 2016, 2:48 pm

SaveFerris wrote:
People have bad feelings about things all the time so if your gut feeling about something is strong it can be very convincing and your mind will try and validate it for you by highlighting anything negative that happens. If you hadn"t had those feelings would the night of gone any differently? Probably not but the way your mind interepted the night would of been different. It almost like a self fulfilling prophecy , if you keep thinking something's going to be bad it probably will be as you won"t be able to judge objectively as you"ve already made you mind up.

QFT

This is the way I feel about the OP. If you had had a bad feeling about someone shouldn't go somewhere, because you saw in your mind's eye that a car was going to fall on them, and then it DID, THAT would be predicting something. Most of the things you listed, were going to happen whether you got a bad feeling, or not----like MjrMajorMajor said "swanky places / swanky prices". I feel your insides said "No", simply because you didn't wanna go----and THAT'S simply because Aspies don't like change / can't change gears, easily / quickly.





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25 Sep 2016, 3:42 pm

How many times did you feel everything will go RIGHT and it did? How many times you though so and it went wrong?
For me it looks like you are just a natural born pessimist and those incidents are mere coincidences.

BTW. Are you perhaps Ni-dom (INTJ personality) in MBTI? They tend to get a lot of "gut feelings" that something is "definitely" going to happen and they are often right(and ignore the times they are wrong :D).

For me it is more like I have a lot of ideas what might possibly happen but I don't get gut feelings and my predictions don't go far(If I try to imagine future further than a few minutes it makes my brain foggy and I can't focus because there is too much unknown, its like I tried to look at multiple waves interference).

I am pretty good with stuff that are going to happen within minutes or even seconds, such as "watch out, a car is about to pop out from that street" but it is a decision made by analyzing all options based on cues I see and cognitively choosing between the most possible one ("nothing is there, we go through just fine") and watching out for the most dangerous one ("it's better to be prepared in case a car is actually there because with our current speed its going to be dangerous if there is one").
My mom is often angry with me because I prefer to take the"wait and see" approach instead of telling her "watch out" despite seeing a danger (I see a car that made a move like it is going to get on colliding course with us but 1. I think mom probably sees it too and is waiting what the car is going to do, 2. Mom doesn't see it yet but she will see it soon, 3. Mom doesn't see it yet but there is still time for her to hit the brakes as soon as I yell, 4. The car might not actually be going our way, 5. The car might see us and change his way...).
I am an INTP. :D

Sometimes I will have a feeling everything is going to turn into disaster but it's anxiety related. I am actually pretty lucky in life. I can't remember any situation something went as bad as I imagined as worst case scenerio - usually it's quite the the opposite. I get a good outcome, despite preparing for the worst(or maybe because of this - I make good possibilities come true because I see the bad possibilities and can prevent them from happening as soon as they come clear).

I am not into bars but in your examples I would probably look at the crowd on highway, analyze alternative routes so we avoid the traffic and suggest the driver where to turn or just sit and have fun imagining which route would be best, killing time this way while others nag. And after getting there I would just be happy I could see some interesting places and have a funny trip(and I wouldn't probably wait in 45 minutes line - I would suggest we take a walk around the city and see if there are any other place open instead because waiting so long is not worth it). Who said I have to drink and spend whole night in one set place? If I am already going out of my comfort zone I am prepared for anything because my daily routine is ruined anyway so anything that comes - comes. I only want to return home in one piece and it's all I care about(although I won't yell at the driver if he drives too fast - because I figure out he probably knows what he is doing and my yell might just make him angry and lose control and if an accident actually happens I can prevent it or deal with it somehow, even dieing sounds kind of interesting - but I won't let a drunkard drive because they clearly don't know what they are doing).



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25 Sep 2016, 9:02 pm

SaveFerris wrote:
I haven't been diagnosed yet but if predicting the future is an Aspie trait I haven"t got it. But my girlfriend said I have some sort of 6th sense in recognising bad people , I cant explain it but I feel I know who not to trust although I do have trust issues so religously dont trust anyone if that makes sense.
You know, I have the same sixth sense. I first meet a new person, and within minutes, I think: "Something ain't right about that guy/girl. He/she will hurt me later. It's not a matter of "if"; it's a matter of "when". Far more often than not, I'm right. Especially when everyone around me is worshiping that same person.

Case in point. Some months ago, my friends met this new guy, who they said was "one of the coolest guys they recently met", and were super-excited to have me meet him. I felt ill-at-ease around him the minute I saw him, and despite being respectful to him during the first meeting, I just couldn't relax until he got in his car and left. Something about him just didn't sit well with me, and I couldn't put my finger on what it was.

* * * * 3 WEEKS LATER * * * *
We're hanging out at the new guy's house. At one point, I say something socially awkward in front of his girlfriend, who was there too. He immediately disappears into his room; he comes out a few minutes later, with brass knuckles in his hand. (He's not wearing them, just holding them by the finger holes.)
Him: "Do you know what this is?" [holding up brass knuckles]
Me: "I've seen it on 'Cops Reloaded' on TV." [this was meant to foreshadow me calling the police]
Him: "So you know what I can do to you with this, right? You know how much damage this can do?"
Me: "Can I just leave instead?"
Him: "Get out!! !"
Meanwhile, my friends are just sitting there, totally speechless, looking shocked and confused beyond belief.

I left his house, and called the police as soon as I was on the city sidewalk, away from his property. Cops came and arrested him. I was on the scene, hiding inside one of the squad cars; the officer driving it told me to lie down on the backseat. He opened the door to let me out after other squad cars left, and spoke to me to make sure I'm OK. He offered to drive me to the hospital, but I declined. The brass knuckles guy was not heard from again. (Brass knuckles are illegal in my state.)

The saddest thing is, my NT friends thought he was the "coolest guy they recently met", without even taking the time to feel out what kind of person he is, in both good and bad situations. So being the socially skilled NTs that they are, how could they not know he was trouble? While I---an aspie---knew it from the very beginning!

So I guess being able to see that the emperor is naked is both a gift and a curse.



SaveFerris
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26 Sep 2016, 7:46 am

Aspie1 wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
I haven't been diagnosed yet but if predicting the future is an Aspie trait I haven"t got it. But my girlfriend said I have some sort of 6th sense in recognising bad people , I cant explain it but I feel I know who not to trust although I do have trust issues so religously dont trust anyone if that makes sense.
You know, I have the same sixth sense. I first meet a new person, and within minutes, I think: "Something ain't right about that guy/girl. He/she will hurt me later. It's not a matter of "if"; it's a matter of "when". Far more often than not, I'm right. Especially when everyone around me is worshiping that same person.

Case in point. Some months ago, my friends met this new guy, who they said was "one of the coolest guys they recently met", and were super-excited to have me meet him. I felt ill-at-ease around him the minute I saw him, and despite being respectful to him during the first meeting, I just couldn't relax until he got in his car and left. Something about him just didn't sit well with me, and I couldn't put my finger on what it was.

* * * * 3 WEEKS LATER * * * *
We're hanging out at the new guy's house. At one point, I say something socially awkward in front of his girlfriend, who was there too. He immediately disappears into his room; he comes out a few minutes later, with brass knuckles in his hand. (He's not wearing them, just holding them by the finger holes.)
Him: "Do you know what this is?" [holding up brass knuckles]
Me: "I've seen it on 'Cops Reloaded' on TV." [this was meant to foreshadow me calling the police]
Him: "So you know what I can do to you with this, right? You know how much damage this can do?"
Me: "Can I just leave instead?"
Him: "Get out!! !"
Meanwhile, my friends are just sitting there, totally speechless, looking shocked and confused beyond belief.

I left his house, and called the police as soon as I was on the city sidewalk, away from his property. Cops came and arrested him. I was on the scene, hiding inside one of the squad cars; the officer driving it told me to lie down on the backseat. He opened the door to let me out after other squad cars left, and spoke to me to make sure I'm OK. He offered to drive me to the hospital, but I declined. The brass knuckles guy was not heard from again. (Brass knuckles are illegal in my state.)

The saddest thing is, my NT friends thought he was the "coolest guy they recently met", without even taking the time to feel out what kind of person he is, in both good and bad situations. So being the socially skilled NTs that they are, how could they not know he was trouble? While I---an aspie---knew it from the very beginning!

So I guess being able to see that the emperor is naked is both a gift and a curse.


What the hell did you say to this girl to provoke this reaction from the guy?
I'm suprised none of your friends jumped to your defence and explain that sometimes your socially awkward , these are not people I would consider friends.
Personally I would not of called the police as in my experience this can lead to repercusions but obviouslly we live in different worlds ( UK & USA ).
Obviously I don't believe I have a 6th sense so the best explanation I have is that I pick up on body language that I don't understand which gives me a warning. I have read that some people with ASD have problems reading body language , I'm not sure I have a problem with body language but can't be sure but I am constantly hyper-vigilant around other people so notice a lot of things that might be body language. A lot of people have "tells" when they lie and because I constantly monitoring I think I can usually spot them - this of course could all be in my head.


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kraftiekortie
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26 Sep 2016, 7:51 am

I am not one who could "predict the future."

But, as others stated, there's an inevitability in many of these things.

45-minute linesat popular clubs are inevitable.

Traffic jams in urban areas are inevitable.

And many others things which the OP described.


Sometimes, I do get a certain feeling that "one thing could lead to another." And that there's a certain "order and sequence" in events.

However, I have frequently been wrong when I've had these sorts of "intuitions."



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26 Sep 2016, 9:29 am

SaveFerris wrote:
What the hell did you say to this girl to provoke this reaction from the guy?
I'm suprised none of your friends jumped to your defence and explain that sometimes your socially awkward , these are not people I would consider friends.
Personally I would not of called the police as in my experience this can lead to repercusions but obviouslly we live in different worlds ( UK & USA ).Personally I would not of called the police as in my experience this can lead to repercusions but obviouslly we live in different worlds ( UK & USA ).
I made a joke that may have come off as childish, raunchy, or both. Even though when I do it with my new 22-year-old friend, she laughs at it every time. His girlfriend found it funny too, although the laugh may have been faked. He didn't like that I said it to her, and stepped in to defend her. But he flew too close to the sun and burned his wings.

As for calling the police, the guy technically has no proof that I did it, since I called after I left his place, and the police didn't tell him it was me who called. (I could hear conversations from inside the cop car where I hid.) There were 3 cars on the scene: one to hide me in, one to arrest him, and a third one for reinforcement. The officer had me hide inside his car, so the guy can't see me; for all he knows, a neighbor could have called the police somehow. In the US, cops are required to send out at least 2 cars to any crime scene. I guess they sent 3 this time because of how I described the incident over the phone.

As for my friends, damn if I know! I have two theories: (1) They were too shocked by this guy's brass knuckles threat, which he made right in front of everyone, that they didn't think about jumping in to help me, and (2) They were so enthralled by his alleged coolness, that I wouldn't be surprised if they made excuses for him somehow, like "he's not serious, he just likes to scare people". Plus, he's in a 3-year LTR, and I'm single, which ranks him higher in the eyes of my relationship'ed friends.



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26 Sep 2016, 9:44 am

I was once invited to attend an event. And months in advance, I had a bad feeling about it.
When I thought about the event, I would envision a rainy day, and feel a sense of dread.
I didn't want to go ... but then, free tickets to the event came in the mail.

The day of the event came.
I got in the car and headed out on the road to the event.
It was a rainy day.
Everything was normal, until suddenly right in the middle of the highway ...
... was a mattress.
Soaking wet and getting rained on.
I tried slowing down as best I could on the slick, wet highway and swerved to avoid it ...
Meanwhile, at the same time I was swerving,
a man came running out into the middle of the highway, running towards the mattress
and now he was directly in the path of my car!
By some miracle, I managed to avoid hitting him.
So all ended well, but I don't like close calls like that.
Maybe the premonition months in advance with its "sense of dread" helped give me an extra feeling of caution
I needed to avoid the accident.



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26 Sep 2016, 10:04 am

Nope...that was quite a close call!

The guy should have really looked before he ran onto the highway like that!

I understand saving a mattress---maybe $500 at the most--but a life is invaluable.



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26 Sep 2016, 11:01 am

Aspie1 wrote:
First, a quick disclaimer: While I won't discredit anyone's reply based on their lack of AS, I'm specifically looking for input from aspies.

Does anyone on here have the ability to accurately predict that something will go wrong? Especially when everyone else in the group blithely ignored any and all possibilities of something going wrong. In my case, every time I predicted something going wrong, it came true 100%. My friends always blamed it on a coincidence, or worse, Law of Attraction, which undermined my trust for them.

Consider this example. We're hanging out at my friend's apartment, deciding what to do. We're almost decided on heading over to a nearby Hooters restaurant for a late dinner. No cover, reasonable food and drink prices, and cute waitresses. Nothing can go wrong. Until... one person opens his big mouth, and suggests driving downtown to go to some fancy club. Immediately, I get an "Uh oh! Something bad will happen, we better not go!! !" feeling. Everyone else jumps at the idea with sickeningly exuberant enthusiasm. They all ignore my protests, we pile into the car, and start driving over. Then...
1. On the way over, we get stuck in 10-mile bumper-to-bumper traffic, at 11:00 PM.
2. When we get to the club, there's a 45-minute line to get in.
3. When our turn comes, we're told there's a $20 cover charge.
4. Soon after we get in, we're told to leave, because we're underdressed for the place.
5. We have to argue to get our cover charge back, and in the end, they only agree to refund us half.
6. We find another bar that's more up my alley, but it's closed for a private event.
7. We find a 24-hour restaurant to just sit in, but the food is expensive and unhealthy.
8. My friends refuse to believe that I was right all along.

Another example. A group of former colleagues invited me hang out with them. First, we go to a chicken wing place to eat dinner. Later, one guy decides to take the evening over to some swanky club five miles away. I suggest just hanging at the sports bar longer, but they gush about how cool the club is. My gut feeling is screaming "No!! !", but being too naive, I ignore it, and follow them in my car. When we arrive...
1. There's a $3 valet parking charge, and I think valet parking is the spawn of Satan.
2. There's a $10 cover charge to get in.
3. There's a $1 coat check fee.
4. Drinks are expensive, much more than at the place from earlier.
5. The whole group wants to just sit and talk, sit and talk, sit and talk, sit and talk, sit and talk, ad nauseam.
6. I want to dance. Nobody else wants to get on the dance floor.
7. I leave feeling angry and frustrated, but liquor stores are closed, and I can't get vodka to calm myself.
8. I kick myself for letting them talk me into coming along to that club.

These are just two out of many examples. Many! Every time, I knew for a fact that something will definitely go wrong. And it always came true. Like clockwork. But no one else wanted to believe me, even if after that very thing went wrong, and I always suffered for it the worst. So, two questions:
1. Does anyone else have that ability to predict things going wrong, where it always comes true?
2. Why do other people dislike that ability?

Yeah. P.S. I'll only be on in school hours.


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26 Sep 2016, 11:59 am

I agree that there is an element of a self-fulfilling prophecy about it all. Personally if there is any change of plans my mind instinctively goes to all the ways the new plan will go wrong. If that happens all the time, well sometimes you are going to be right.

On the other hand, groups of drunk friends do have a tendency to make poor decisions. Unfortunately, groups of drunk friends can also be very difficult to persuade. I would say that if you know you aren't going to enjoy it:

1) politely refuse to go but wish them well

or

2) go along anyway and try to look on the bright side

If they aren't doing anything dangerous or illegal there's no harm in it.



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26 Sep 2016, 2:57 pm

MjrMajorMajor wrote:
From the OP's story, most of the negatives were about cost. Anywhere upscale/trendy/swanky is going to involve shelling out more cash. Just stick to casual places with your friends, and beg off on the higher end establishments. :shrug:
It's not about the cost in and of itself. I don't mind spending a lot of money for a worthwhile experience. It's about how much enjoyment I get out of the money I spent. I have a fraction I like to follow.
PLEASURE OBTAINED
------------------------------
EXPENSES INCURRED

So, consider, for example, one hour with an escort. It costs upwards of $300. But the pleasure it gives me is immense! So it's totally worth spending. Conversely, the club where my former colleagues took me, with valet, cover, coat check, drinks, and tips was: $3+$10+$1+$6*3+$3=$35. $35 is nothing compared to the $300 I spend on an escort, and that'd without the train fare to her hotel and the post-sex beer. But consider the differences in the enjoyment I get from each source.

lordfakename wrote:
On the other hand, groups of drunk friends do have a tendency to make poor decisions. Unfortunately, groups of drunk friends can also be very difficult to persuade. I would say that if you know you aren't going to enjoy it:

1) politely refuse to go but wish them well

or

2) go along anyway and try to look on the bright side
In my experience, the more someone gushes praise about how something will be fun/awesome/fun/cool/exciting/whatever, the worse it turns out in the end. I've gotten burned by the allegedly false promises many times. Like when some girl invited me and my friends to join her at the priciest club in the city, she went on and on about how nice it is and how beautiful the women are there. My friends bought into it without question. I, on the other hand, smelled a rat. I politely declined the invitation, even though I stayed home that night. The gushing praise set off a red flag; not to mention, "the beautiful people" are often unpleasant to the core. I talked to my friends on Sunday after the club night, and they said it was OK. I'm still glad I didn't go.

Conversely, one time, me and and my friends were having burgers around 8:30 PM, when one of us got a text about a cover band playing 5 miles way. I didn't want to go, obviously, but my friends convinced me: they said that while it's nothing perfect, it's better than going home at 9:00 PM. They didn't seem enthused (it's a real word!), but went as a time-filler, mostly. Now, that night turned out awesome. I loved the old songs they played, and the female vocalist even danced with me for about 15 seconds, while she mingled with the audience during a music break.