How do you deal with phone anxiety?

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Hi,

I tend to feel really anxious about making phone calls.

A client has not been replying to emails and has been stalling payment of what they owe, driving me into a very bad financial position. I tried to call them earlier, and they didn't answer. I decided to try again, and this time when they didn't answer I tried to leave a voicemail.

My mouth dried up and my heart felt like it was going to bust out of my chest and the voicemail I left I am sure sounds terrible

I've heard phone anxiety can be quite common for those of us on the spectrum, so thought I'd see if anyone on here has found any ways to deal with it?

Thanks,

11:32.

The thing that helped with me was just repeatedly using it. I sort of became more desensitized after a while. Still don't like personal calls, but work or official stuff i am not too bad with now.

I have to communicate over the phone in my work, but I don't like it one bit. I just try to be efficient and get it over with as quickly as possible.
I know where you are coming from as far trying to collect money owed you over the phone. I haven't had this problem since I moved back into the country ( people are so much better about paying up here).
I have found that if you are offering a service that people appreciate, the lack of phone skills isn't that much of a problem.
If you aren't getting any feedback from these people and you are a small business person, chances are they are trying to stiff you, knowing that we have limited resources to get financial redress.
Is the possibility of putting a mechanic's lien on their property feasible for you? I have had to threaten people with this in the past, and had to do it once.

I wish I would've thought to put some of my tech contract work under lien. Just remember the whole time you're listening to their excuses they're giving you your money, dealing with such deluded people is EASY, they lack the integrity to pay you on time so they probably also lack the willpower to hold out on you indefinitely. I've done this in person and over the phone, as much as this might piss your clients off they're gonna respect you more for getting yourself paid.

This is normal, they're trying to gamble on your anxieties until you back down. If you have to, tell them you know legal from illegal. Greed is just impulsive cowardice after all.

_________________
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I have to use the phone to call my bank and other things as I live abroad. I can only use a phone on my left ear for some reason and I don't like that. I now use skype with some over the ears headphones that block off outside noises. You have to pay if you call some phones. I feel really good with this setup except when you have to pay.

I hate being on the phone (with a person, anyways, I'm OK if I call the bank for my balance or the bus company for the next bus), but mostly the only time I have to worry about it is for interviews. So I try to just do it and get it over with. But sometimes, if I'm supposed to be calling someone back, I end up procrastinating too long.

my problem with phone anxiety stems from the already present social anxiety + not being able to see their faces. I've trained myself to understand facial expressions enough to where I feel comfortable inferring whatever meaning I can find between the lines in person, but on the phone there is only voice inflection, and it's startling to not know when the person on the other end will begin talking or if they are even listening. if it's an important call it helps me to write bullet points of what I want to accomplish with the call beforehand, as well as have stimming material on hand (usually clay, wax, or just pen and paper) so I can focus on the conversation better. if you've not tried either of these methods for phone anxiety I think you should! good luck.

InsomniaGirl's advice really is sound, unpleasant as it may seem. But it will take time. Meanwhile, is there anyone you could have call for you? You might also talk to a collection agency (I don't know the laws where you are) and see if they would be willing to simply make the call for a fee, depending on your relationship with the client.

It's kind of embarrassing, but I write everything I can out beforehand. A least the salient points to refer to.

I hate talking on the phone to anyone I don't know really well. I like talking to my parents on the phone, and sometimes other family members, but that is it. I don't even like using the phone to order food! When I have to, I write down what I want to say. This helps a lot with a short phone call, like making an appointment or ordering food. But it might be harder with a longer phone call. You could write down what you want to say, and then maybe think of some possible responses the person might have and what your answers would be. OR you could try to delegate someone else to make your phone calls for you! I've done that before and had my mom or aunt call on my behalf. Sometimes they refer to themselves as my "non-attorney spokesperson."

I procrastinate making phone calls because i hate the phone so much. I have to psych myself up and make them all at once, one after another. Like anything that causes me anxiety, the more i do it the easier it gets. The less i do it the harder it gets.

I had a real terror of using the telephone for years. I used to rip it out of the wall and throw it in the closet (this was before cellphones were invented). But in the last couple of years, it just went away. I'm fine with the phone now. Why? I could guess all of the above, but I want to mention that I've been doing EMDR for a couple of years. I think it could be that. I can't praise EMDR highly enough - it works, immediately, on me anyway. And in between appointments, things kind of settle down, like a beneficial ripple effect.

For several years I worked a job where I had to be on the phone all day long. I would actually pretend I was an actor playing the part of a customer service rep. That made it easier somehow.

To this day I have terrible phone anxiety. I hardly ever call anyone. I text quite a bit. I can't stand being on the phone, without looking at the person I can't tell what his/her pauses mean, I can't tell whether it's my turn to speak, and I don't know whether the person is understanding that for example I'm happy over happy news so I have to "make" my voice sound cheerier, sometimes my jaw actually starts aching and my throat as well from trying so hard to "sound cheery" so the person understands. Also, my voice seems to sound tinny in my ears when I'm speaking into the mic portion with the other portion held to my ear (either landline or cell phone).

I just hate it, it's anxiety-provoking and it's physically irritating.

I used to avoid the phone entirely. I would leave the phone ringing at home because I knew it would be for either my mum or sister anyway and I had no clue what to say. I rarely had need to make a call for personal reasons so I didn't, I would usually get others to make calls for me if necessary.

Then I got a job making and taking calls. It was terrible at first, and not helped by being thrown in without training, but I got used to it. It really helped that the calls for this job are actually fairly structured, you get used to regurgitating a script or at least just providing people with information.

It hasn't made me much better outside of work though. It's easier but I still have to "have a plan", and I'll avoid calls if I can.

I don't own a phone, and if I need to talk to somebody, I give them a visit.

I've worked jobs in the past where I had to make and take calls. Most of those calls were scripted, so I was able to deal with them with little to no anxiety. On the other hand those jobs only served to increase my anxiety to use the phone for non-scripted calls. Hence why I don't own a phone anymore.