I just need a little help

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Hello. I am a 20 years old unfortunate guy. I am have never been diagnosed with autism. But I believe that I have low functioning autism. I can't think of anything else except autism that can cause the severe difficulties I have with communication, body language, facial expressions and eye contact. Because of my mental disabilities I can't make any friends or get a job. I am very poor and live in a third world country. So I can't get any help to solve my problems caused by autism.

So my question is- is there anything online that can help people like me? You know, a guide or something like that? I can't find anything helpful. Plz help.

Thank you

Last edited by xxautisticfoolxx on 09 Sep 2016, 7:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Tell us more about yourself, please.

Do you work?

Do you go to school?

I don't sense that you are a "low-functioning" individual at all.

Thank you for replying sir.

I am feeling too lazy to write more.. I actually wrote a post here about 6 months ago. In that post I said a lot of things about myself. Here is the link: viewtopic.php?t=307698

This is what I wrote in that post:
"I hate myself so much now that if I could come out of my body, I would torture it with fire. I am an autistic fool that doesn’t deserve anything good in life. I am tired of feeling sorry for myself and being unable to do anything about the situation I am in. I have trouble going to sleep every night. It takes me 2 hours to fall asleep after going to bed. My thoughts are jumbled and unclear. I can’t produce anything good. I have lived on this planet for 20 years and all I have produced is feces and carbon dioxide. I hate myself even more for being a guy. All that disgusting hair all over my body, being dumber and uglier than girls- being a guy is the worst thing ever. I am dumber than a rock or a tree. I have done nothing in my life except sleep and eat. I have trouble doing simple things that even a 3 year old can do. My memory, vocabulary, writing style everything is worse than everyone else’s. I highly doubt I have a brain inside my tiny head. If I had a properly functioning brain then my life would be much better. I am so angry right now because of how pathetic I am. I have wasted so many things. There are so many people who would be able to accomplish more than me if they had even half the opportunities I had. I am nothing but disgrace to the the human race.

It is so hard for me to write. Every time I want to say or write something I can’t find any words. In a recent essay test I got a B but most people got A’s. That’s how horrible I am at writing. I need one hour to write a 300 word essay. My mind is slower than a dead person’s.

The urge to kill myself is getting stronger and I am slowly losing control over my mind. Yesterday I was playing a game on my android and for no reason I bit my phone screen with my teeth. The screen shattered instantly and I feel so bad for breaking my $160 phone. I wish I were one of those people who are born with the inability to feel pain. That way I could burn myself and turn myself into ash without feeling a single thing.

I had hope. I wanted to make something out of myself. But the problem is everyone is smarter than me. In this world of survival of the smartest, I am a nobody. I can’t form connections with people and that’s why my life sucks so bad. I have poor parents and my father is pretty old. I don't know how much longer he will be able to live and provide for me. If he dies I will have to starve to death because there is no one else to take care of me. I need to find a source of income and make some connections with people fast if I want to survive. I can't do these things because I have autism and I can't form relationships with people. I never had a friend in my whole life. I used to like girls before but now am not attracted to girls anymore. I don't like guys either. I want to be a girl because girls are better looking, smarter, get good grades etc.

I know that no one will believe this after seeing my horrible writing style but I am a University student. My grades are really bad. I want to be extremely wealthy, smart, powerful and famous. I am pretty sure everyone does. Sadly I will never be smart enough to achieve the things I want in life.

I don’t know why I fear pain so much. I would have killed myself already if I didn’t have so much irrational fear of physical pain. There is no painless way to die except destroying your brain before it can create the feeling of pain. I just hope that a war will start someday soon and a bomb will drop on me and disintegrate my messed up brain that is responsible for my miserable life. That’s the only painless way to die, I think.

I have trouble trusting people and I don't want to post this. I feel like I am hurting you people by writing here and making you read it. I just want some life advice. Please forgive me for wasting your time."

Tell me if you need more info.

You seem like a pretty intelligent person to me.

I hope you remain here on WrongPlanet, and start posting more often. People here experience similar things to what you've experienced.

Just, please, make sure try not to get angry if you disagree with something somebody says.

I would understand it if you wouldn't want to reveal your country--but would you be able to reveal your continent?

This is a place where people can "be themselves."

Your writing style shows you have a high intelligence.
Welcome to Wrong Planet!

I am from a country called Bangladesh. It's an Asian country..

I would post more here and I want to help people but I really don't have much to talk about.. it's one of the reasons I am so frustrated with my life. I want to have a lot of interesting things to talk about

Last edited by xxautisticfoolxx on 09 Sep 2016, 8:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

haha.. well this is not the first time I am posting here but still, thank you for the welcome

I know Bangladesh a little.

The capital is Dhaka, which used to be called "Dacca."

At one time, it was called "East Pakistan."

I've met quite a few Bangladeshis where I live, in New York City.

You have excellent English language skills. Do you speak Bengali?

yeah.. many bangladeshis go to usa to find work.

Yes, I speak bengali. I know a very small amount of arabic and hindi too.

hahaha.. my english language skills are far from excellent. I am bad at languages.

Last edited by xxautisticfoolxx on 09 Sep 2016, 8:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

LOL...You're much better with English than I am with Bengali.

There are many native English speakers who can't write as well as you do.

Have you gone to University?

haha.. it's okay that you are not good at bengali. you don't even have to learn bengali. Unless you live in bangladesh, bengali is kind of useless.

But in today's world knowing english is super important.

Thank you again for the compliments.

yes, I go to university and I am studying electrical engineering, but it kind of feels pointless. I mean, I am good at studying and my cgpa is getting better but I have zero social skills. I can't see how I am going to finish uni or get a job. Everything requires a minimum amount of social skill nowadays.. which I don't have.

Everyday is a struggle for me. My parents don't even care about me. I have to start taking care of myself but autism is making it impossible.

You know what, there are some people here who are engineers, and are autistic.

But the fact that you GOT INTO university in Bangladesh is a real feat. I don't think 1 in a 100 applicants get into University there.

Do you happen to know people casually from your classes?

Your situation might not be as "hopeless" as you think it is.

I've known many people who are their "own worst enemy." They think worse of themselves than what is actually true.

yeah I know people casually but it's hard to get help from them. Sometimes they make fun of me. They say things like-
"are you gay or something? why don't you have a girlfriend?" or
"haha I have never met anyone lonely like you. Why don't you have any friends?"..

I need some real friends who will be able to help me a little more.. I also need to form connections with people to get a job..

Just tell them you're looking for the "right girl."

Just ignore what those people tell you, and determine which people aren't telling you these things, so you can hang out with them.

Do they have internships listed in your University job listings?

Do you get along with your professors very well?

You and your writing style do not seem unintelligent to me, you're a bit short with your sentences but it's coherent and to the point. Definitely nothing to be ashamed of with English not being your first language, there are plenty of native English speakers that are worse. Most Americans only speak English, so knowing more than one language I would say definitely would say you're not terrible at language at least in written form. If your major is electrical engineering and you haven't failed out of school then you're not that stupid, that's a pretty rigorous major I think that I surely don't think I would be capable of completing.

I'm a student too and I definitely can relate to some of your feelings of inadequacy because of your social shortcomings, I have a lot of the same worries about the future. It's a struggle everyday for sure but all one can do is to keep plugging and to try and try and try to improve yourself, there is no alternative. The internet is a social outlet as unsatisfying as it may be, it beats total isolation for sure tho.