Social Rules I have recently learned

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So here's a list of some rules I have learned within the past year (I'm 21). I had a friend who would constantly correct my social errors, and I was learning so much. She's moved, but I'm still seeking to learn. Feel free to add on.. NT's and Aspies

- I'm busy is a code word for not interested
- when somebody does not want to be friends with you they will say "I'm busy" and come up with excuses
- If this happens you are suppossed to leave the person alone, if you don't they will get very angry
- People are speaking in code often (I still have not broken the code)
- When somebody offers to pay for you, you should insist to pay
- When somebody says "You should come" they are not being sincere, they are being polite and you are supposed to decline.
- You are only allowed to cry silently in front of other people
- People lie to be polite
- In order to begin a conversation you are supposed to smile first, then if the person smiles back you can begin talking.
-Nt's make friends by a "feeling" and its very easy for them
-Nt's decide if they like you the first few seconds of meeting you
-Nt's first impressions are based off clothes and facial expression- and thats it, it doesn't matter what you say or who you are on the inside
-Don't interrupt people when they are talking to someone else
-If you bring something to a potluck, it is polite to leave it there- not take the leftovers home.
- When you first meet someone you are supposed to engage in small talk, being quiet and not asking any questions is considered rude.

In my experience, if somebody says "you should come," they usually, but not always, mean it.

If a man offers to pay for a woman, it means he wants to date her, usually. A man might even become offended if you refuse to let him pay. This is less true with younger people.

It is not always easy for NTs to make friends.

Sometimes, especially when a person is older, they care less about your clothes, and more about what you say. You should dress in clean clothes, though.

Sometimes, people might nod their heads instead of smiling. I think the smiling thing happens more between females.

"First impressions" are important--but a bad first impression is not always a deal-breaker.

The other items are true, based on my experience.

Hi there!

I'm not trying to come off as rude, but I disagree with some of the things that your friend has taught you. I hope my input helps.

If someone offers to pay for me, I'm going to damn well let them pay for me. I hate these "politeness wars" with a passion, e.g. "I'll pay." "No, I'll pay." "No, let ME pay." "No, I'm not going to let you pay!" Ughhhh these make me sick.

i used to get so confused when people rejected me politely.
they say "i'm busy".
i would try to use logic and ask why they are busy or if another time would work.
i was persistent with trying to find a solution because they would not say "i don't like you".
then they got mad at me, when they were the ones lying and rejecting me.

in response to another poster, people do decide whether they want to be friends with you in an instant and it is based on a feeling. you want to get to know only the people you are considering becoming friends with.

I wish there were a book of social rules. I'm still learning, still get confused by people. Some on that list I wasn't aware of. I consider myself well-socialized so it's surprising. A book would help me fill in any blanks I wasn't aware of.

I was diagnosed as autistic when I was 3 years old.

If you met me, it would be evident that I pretty odd LOL

It took me a long time to learn social rules. I still violate them on a regular basis.

it's easier to be a hermit.