Possible Diagnosis

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Hello everyone, this is my first post. I'm 27 and I've had a lot of difficulty in my life keeping a job and struggling in college. I'm married and my husband who has a masters in the mental health field thinks I may have Aspergers. I've felt different all of my life. As a child I had anxiety and emotional issues. I excelled in school and was in gifted classes, but I could never make friends or even understood how to. I never learned to drive and it took me until I was 16 to even learn to tie my shoes. I've always had emotional violent outbursts over small things and panic attacks as well. I prefer staying at home and my only interests are video games which I tend to have an obsession with including everything related to each one down to the creators of them and of art which I'm very good at.

As I've gotten older I've noticed I'm sort of different. I can't stand loud sounds or bright lights. I still don't have a good grasp on friendships. I only have a handful which I've managed to obtain through trial and error. Most times I never make friends or I make them and they leave because they tell me I'm odd or something. My marriage is great, but my husband takes care of me and drives me everywhere. I'm struggling in college. I can't seem to focus when I study, take tests, or stay organized. I have an appointment with a psychologist who is a specialist in diagnosing autism spectrum Tuesday to see if I may have it. I've already taken several online tests and always score high in the nueurodiverse range. I'm just so depressed all of the time because the world seems foreign and I don't feel like I fit in.

Thanks for the welcome. The good things are my friend,Collin, and my husband, Chandler. My interests are kind of limited. Mostly restricted to video games and art stuff like drawing and painting. I'm in college to be a graphic designer. If I watch TV it's usually cartoons and that's rare. I have 4 dogs and I love them a lot. I'm just struggling because I feel like I can't seem to get anywhere in life and I feel so different. It's becoming more apparent as I get older.

It's nice to know I'm not alone. I've worried that a diagnosis might make getting and keeping a job harder. I already hate eye contact which makes interviewing difficult. Aside from the job hopping I have a good resume for someone who worked in retail most of their life.

Did it take a long time to get a diagnosis? I've been seeing a psychiatrist for my anxiety and depression and they referred me to this autism specialist. I'm nervous because I don't know what the process is or if it may take several visits.

Your in luck! Graphic design, as well as coding, are feilds where it is tres chic to be autistic. In fact, some businesses are making a big deal of specifically seeking autistic folks to work for them. They think our hyperfocus makes us good employees. It's likely that this trend will still be hot as you graduate. But if you find its not so, simply don't tell employers about you diagnosis. Its really none of their business.

Good luck on your testing Tuesday!

I've been a graphic designer for decades, starting out in print design and illustration. I design and code web sites since i've found that coding is pretty easy for me and there's always a need for it. I think people expect artistic types to be a trifle eccentric, so I think we get a bit of a break on being unusual (same goes for people who code).

Regarding the eye contact, I could only look at people's eyebrows or chins for a long time. It's still pretty hard. I practiced facial expressions and speaking in the mirror so I wouldn't look odd. It might be helpful to have a friend or job coach pretend to be a job interviewer to act out an interview and get you more comfortable.

You don't have to tell anyone that you are on the autistic spectrum if you don't want to (it's not required). The main reason for doing so might be to request disability accommodation in school or at work, and you can ask for that after you are hired, or not at all.

Thanks everyone! These are great replies. I'm glad I chose a good profession. I've job hopped in customer service my entire life and it never ends well. I'm very friendly. At least I think I am, but employers eventually dislike me.

I'm going to practice the eye contact thing with my husband. It's just so awkward making eye contact. Hopefully I will have better luck with jobs when I graduate. I'm currently just being a student. I have a lot of trouble staying focused. Making small talk with people is even worse. Hopefully things will get better soon.

Just remember that life is difficult for most people. It's more difficult on us for sure in certain areas, but everyone struggles and has anxiety and self doubt and all that stuff you can't always see in them. The more I find out about others, with and without autism, the less alone and singled out I feel.