Best and worst people to reveal your ASD/Aspie diagnosis to?

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248RPA
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17 Oct 2016, 8:31 pm

Just out of curiousity. Other than people like doctors and insurance workers, of course, because sometimes you HAVE to tell them.

If you more or less pass as NT, who, in your opinion would likely be more understanding and who would likely be otherwise? I think that other autistics should be the most understanding.

Boss? Teacher/professor? People with autistic sibling/child/other family members? People who don't have autistic relations? Others?

Everybody has told me in some way or another that I'm not normal, but I've had to make that Aspie connection myself and suggest getting it diagnosed. I've only told a few people so far, and didn't make a big deal out of it.

One said, 'You don't seem autistic.'
Another one asked me what autism/Aspergers was.
Another time I said it was when autism came up during class, and then the teacher said she has a son with Asperger's. Then she went on to talk about how Aspies are often smart. Then the class clown said, "Oh, I've got Asperger's!" Then the teacher told him to stop fooling around. Everyone forgot about it the next day.


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broccolichowder
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17 Oct 2016, 8:45 pm

I wouldn't disclose to my family because they don't believe in that stuff unless you're COMPLETELY impaired or have to be hospitalized. Nor would I disclose to my boss because that can cause all sorts of other problems. I guess the only people I'd tell would be close friends or random strangers on the internet.


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jrjones9933
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17 Oct 2016, 8:50 pm

I got diagnosed at age 40 under completely random circumstances.

I was getting angry at myself over my inability to deal with social situations, so I enrolled in an anger management course. It seemed logical, until I found out that the class was full of wife-beaters. Still, they taught some good techniques. I had some free sessions with the counselor who acted as the facilitator for the class, that I could access through the facility. It was a christian charity, and had its problems, but they did help me. After talking with me three times, she said, "Has anyone ever suggested that you might have Aspergers?" and referred me to a local psychologist who turned out to be super.

I had previously found really helpful therapists through other sources. They missed the ASD, but I was really well-adapted. I found a great psychologist who also understood holotropic integrative breathwork through the classifieds section of my food co-op, and I made massive progress in figuring out how to achieve my will through work with him. Three of my university professors offered excellent feedback, and I disclosed my autism to them.

The worst would be haters. Unfortunately, it's fun to hate, and they can pop up anywhere.


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JakeASD
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18 Oct 2016, 4:52 am

I divulge to most people I encounter because I don't function terribly well.


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kraftiekortie
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18 Oct 2016, 5:44 am

Best: Your lover who has ASD

Worst: Your employer



JakeASD
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18 Oct 2016, 5:49 am

Why is it necessarily a bad thing to divulge that you are on the spectrum to your employer?

My potential new employers (I have received a conditional offer) have been nothing but supportive of me and my condition.


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feral botanist
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18 Oct 2016, 6:06 am

I told my supervisor, but he a great person. I'm not sure if I would tell every supervisor.

I think it depends on the person and why you want them to know.



MentalIllnessObsessed
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18 Oct 2016, 6:32 am

Greetings. Some of the few people who know whether or not I want them to are teachers. I have an IEP with autism in it, and they all see my identification as autism and other things. It was just added this year, and currently no teacher has done or said anything different (I told a teacher last year since she helps me a lot, two of them are my last year's teachers and one of them I told on the first day of school, because they were going to know anyways).

I also have told my close friends. I told two friends originally. One of them seems willing to accommodate, since we have had a lot of "rough patches" because I have said multiple things to her that weren't socially appropriate and didn't understand why. I guess with her knowing, she understands more that I didn't mean to do that on purpose, and was more out of curiousity than anything. My other friend didn't seem to mind or say anything.

Then I told a bunch of other friends/acquaintances in casual conversation. I keep bring up autism because it's part of my special interest and concluded out of all the times I've talked about it is because I have ASD. They told me that "I don't seem autistic". One of them still makes jokes about when people do something dumb that they're autistic. I don't like this.

I told another friend because she was upset about her mark, and I couldn't think of any way to comfort her. I tried my best, but I couldn't really do it. This person also told me before that they had cancer, and felt that it was fine for me to tell them this.

Probably the worst person to tell would be people against people with disabilities. Or strangers that you don't know. I would be fine telling an employer or family as long as I know they aren't hateful against people with disabilities.


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 148 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 60 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)

Dx Autism Spectrum Disorder - Level 1, learning disability - memory and fine motor skills, generalized and social anxiety disorder
Unsure if diagnosed with OCD and/or depression, but were talked about with my old/former pdoc and doctor.

Criteria for my learning disability is found at this link:
http://www.ldao.ca/wp-content/uploads/LDAO-Recommended-Practices-for-Assessment-Diagnosis-Documentation-of-LDs1.pdf


kraftiekortie
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18 Oct 2016, 7:00 am

It's a better atmosphere as far as employment and ASD's are concerned in the UK, over the US.

In the US, people who reveal their ASD status might scare off employers. For various reasons.

I should have specified "in a US context."



JakeASD
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18 Oct 2016, 7:19 am

There's the "Two Ticks" scheme here in the UK, which encourages applications from those with disabilities.


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candleghost
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18 Oct 2016, 7:35 am

I tell most people. Granted, most people in my life have been mental health professionals.

Once I realized how much ASD fit with me, I was excited and didn't understand how it could be taken as a bad thing. I thought it would help everyone understand me better. However, as I get older (and especially now with seeing how autism is used as an insult), I'm starting to be more selective with who I tell.



candleghost
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18 Oct 2016, 7:36 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
It's a better atmosphere as far as employment and ASD's are concerned in the UK, over the US.

In the US, people who reveal their ASD status might scare off employers. For various reasons.

I should have specified "in a US context."


This is good to know.



kraftiekortie
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18 Oct 2016, 7:36 am

People, in general, are just not that knowledgeable about ASD's.



Sheila Nye
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18 Oct 2016, 8:41 am

I was dx'd autistic when very young and at that time the recommendation was "stick (us) all in an institution and forget about (us)."

Dad told the examiner where to stick it. He put me in a small private school for regular kids where I got a decent education (and finally started talking when I was almost five. My first word was a complete sentence) but floundered socially and in maths and history and art. (To this day all my drawings look like cartoons).

My voice was monotone. I couldn't hear syllable accents even though on testing my hearing itself remains supersonic. Now I can only tell syllable accents by holding my hand under my chin.

I used to info dump. My nicknames were the little professor or the taking encyclopedia among family members.

I got zero supports for the autism officially.

Dad seemed to be a broader phenotype and carefully taught me stuff, though it did not help with getting along socially. He taught me about metaphors and other figures of speech I remember clearly. I was lost in reading classes til then.

I had very few meltdowns as a child. Mom was extremely abusive. I have had more meltdowns as an adult.

I told a close acquaintance first and they accept that I am autistic.

I told the therapist that I currently see once a month. It seems I also have adhd mixed type and sensory processing stuff too. And auditory processing.

Insurance here does not pay for cognitive psych testing unless "medically necessary."

I am investigating if my old testing records still exist.

I have not even told my spouse who I suspect is an aspie.

Special interests or passions, we both share a love of bookstores and reading. Spouse made an extensive study of games as a kid. I am also most enthusiastic about dogs, frogs, and mushroom i.d. currently.

I have been posting links to articles about autism in adults on social media for spouse's family and other acquaintances to read but I have not told any of them directly and don't know if I will.

The older I get, the less able and willing I am to pass for NT.

I get vocational rehabilitation"services" where I have other labels.

I have not told lots of people, only two. An old boss used to nod knowingly when I got on to talking about frogs and he taught me a script for office parties that worked for me back then. He never inquired about autism and I didn't bring it up either.

Two people, one of them a professional. I guess that makes me either a private person or a chicken!

I am also severely face-blind. I primarily recognize people by voice, hairstyle, and context.

I tend to be tangential. My apologies for that.



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18 Oct 2016, 9:27 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Best: Your lover who has ASD

Worst: Your employer

More like
Best: Your lover with ASD
Worst: The Devil.


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