I hate having Asperger's

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Not only it's ruined my life, it's ruined other people's lives too. If I didn't have this s**t, my NT brother wouldn't have grown into a depressed and unconfident man. Also my mum wouldn't have cancer, because they say stress causes cancer, and me and my horrible f*****g Asperger's has always caused stress so basically it's because of me and my f****d up brain that is why my mum has cancer now.

Also, once when I was still a teenager, my uncle said something that made me feel worthless. He was saying, to my mum, about how he worries about his teenage sons because they were both always hanging out after dark with their mates and one of them was into drugs (just a peer fad, not heavy drugs), and then my uncle added "...but I'd still rather my boys doing what they're doing, than being like your kids who are always in their rooms on their computers, I'd actually be worried more." I can't believe he said that to my mum right in front of me, even to this day that has made me feel upset. My uncle can be so tactless like that.

Another thing I hate about Asperger's is my work life. I'm stuck in a part-time cleaning job what is sh***y and too stressful for what it is, while my peers seem to be getting promotions and being managers of businesses. I could never get to that if I tried. I am dumb, useless and afraid of my own shadow. I am so timid. I let people walk all over me because I am too nice to say no, and if I was in charge of customers in a shop I'd end up letting everybody purchase items half the price or even free, because I'm too scared to say no, and people know it.

I hate Asperger's. Why was I born with it? My whole family are NTs, why aren't I? I hate it more than words can describe.

I think they are in the wrong. They chose to have a kid and when your born it's not known how you will be personality and healthy wise etc. Are you able to move out? If so I'd suggest you ditch them. Toxic people are to be avoided where possible even if it's family. You can still talk with them but don't let them be disrespectful or tell you what to do. Also perhaps they will be happier.

Um, excuse me but my mum has cancer. I am worried sick about her. I meant "they" as in "the media and society" say stress causes cancer, so I have caused cancer for my mum. My mum and brother have NEVER made me feel this way. It's how I feel. Asperger's is s**t. I hate it. Don't ever badmouth my mum again, she's so precious to me.

Ok. Aspergers can't be fixed though. You must work with what you have got.

You did not cause your mom's cancer.
If anything, the way you care so much for your mom will help her to get better.

Forget the fear mongering media, here are the facts from the experts.
Psychological Stress and Cancer - National Cancer Institute

I do not think your brothers issues were caused by you. Even if your AS somehow stressed him out enough to cause his problems, if you were NT it would have been something else that triggered him because he is prone to having problems because like you he was born that way.

I hate having Aspergers too and I'm trying to figure out ways to combat the symptoms. All I can say is good luck to you and your uncle sounds like a piece of garbage.

Hate Aspergers all you want.
At the end of the day, you'll still have it.
Only you'll be chewed up with hate and Aspergic.

You must have some heavy goddam superpowers if you can cause cancer and ruin peoples' lives.
Why don't you use it for good instead of evil?

Asperger's doesn't cause anyone to have cancer. If you didn't have it, your mom probably still would have gotten it from something else. Some people are just more prone to cancer. If autism truly caused cancer, then all the parents of autistic children in the world would have it and so would your father. If you have any other relatives or deceased ones who have had it, then it runs in the family and your mom was already more likely to get it.

I also don't buy that stress causes cancer because if it didn't then everyone would be getting it and so would I. If some people are getting cancer from stress, it's because they were already prone to it.

Your AS didn't cause your brother to have Depression, either. Anything could have made him that way. Something that I've started learning this year is not to compare myself to everybody else. Maybe you'd like to try that.

I've been a bit depressed over the week-end, and everything has got on top of me and I blamed everything gone wrong in my life on Asperger's. When I hear people say that stress causes cancer, I worry because I was a problem child, and as a teenager I was lonely and depressed and isolated (also caused my mum worry and heartbreak), and as an adult I had angry outbursts, which have only stopped because I am on antidepressants (they seem to work on the anger outbursts, not anxiety). And, with my brother, I do hear a lot about Autistic/Aspie children having an affect on their NT siblings. As a child I took up all the attention from my parents, and, looking back, my brother did unintentionally get left out, and he was a quiet and easy kid to have so I suppose that was why he didn't complain. I think that has stayed with him, because I was still hard work as a teenager, and it must have got to my brother, being so he is sensitive too. So I feel like Asperger's has caused so much stress in the family.

I am really angry about having Asperger's at the moment because of my work issues. Asperger's affects people's social skills in all different ways, and the social skills it affects the most with me is how to not be timid, how to be outspoken, how to not be severely affected by other people's thoughts and emotions, and how to be able to be authoritative and to speak louder and be able to ''boss'' people about. I am not good at any of that. I am timid, nervous, quiet, and it's much harder than it sounds to just ''make myself be heard'' or ''just not worry about other people's thoughts and feelings''. I can't help it. I can read social cues as quickly as NTs, but I find it so awkward to actually respond to them. Social anxiety takes over, and I decide to just say nothing instead. But I hate it. And that's only the start of why it is affecting me in the employment world.

Joe90,

I feel for you. Having Asperger's has been nearly nothing but complication. You have my sympathy.

I always thought your social skills were more due to social anxiety because you say you can read body language, social cues, understand people and their intentions, etc. People with social anxiety always think they are going to mess up socially and they tend to be very self conscious of themselves, get nervous in social situations and think people are laughing at them or staring at them, and worry about what others could be thinking and feeling, and their anxiety gets in the way of their social skills so they have a hard time using them and you have always described all that.

I have thought you always blamed AS on everything when in fact it was more due to the anxiety, not autism that is giving you trouble and making your life hard. I would be more focused on anxiety instead because that seems to be the mean issue there than autism.

Also are you sure your brother is depressed because he felt neglected in his childhood due to you? If he is still resenting that, he would need therapy to help get over those hurt feelings and because he is an adult now, it's now his responsibility.

I know I do have social anxiety. I have practically every symptom. I constantly worry that I'm going to mess up socially, I am very self-conscious, I worry what people think of me, I get shy and nervous in social situations, and I always think people are staring or laughing at me (this is mostly with strangers, I don't get that feeling so much with people that I know). I seem to have a small fear of strangers, as in people I pass in the street or the supermarket, because whenever I got harassed (bullied, I suppose) in the past (like at high school) it was more so from kids that I didn't know. It usually happened when walking home from school. And as an adult I've often had bad encounters with strangers, like catching girls snickering at me, or people giggling when I once almost slipped on ice on a snowy day (hence why I don't like going out in the snow), and I think that has triggered off anxiety around strangers. A stranger has only got to do something odd near me, and I go worrying about it all day, because I have learnt that people do weird things as a way of making fun or judging you, like they're trying to get your attention so that they can make you feel unhappy or something. Like today in the supermarket I was just minding my own business doing my shopping, and a man with a trolley (shopping cart in USA) stood near me, then when he moved he rammed his trolley into mine. I thought it was just an accident, so I looked up at him and he was just gawking at me with a blank look on his face, and didn't say sorry. Then I started feeling upset and annoyed, because I thought ''if he didn't say sorry for ramming into me that hard, it can't have been an accident, judging by the way he was gawking at me.'' So, there was the usual reason I came up with: ''He must have been judging me.'' This sort of thing happens all the time. Somebody does something a bit rude or odd or annoying, and have an unfriendly expression, and then I assume that people are deliberately annoying me.
A tiny little voice tells me that maybe he wanted to get my attention because perhaps he thought I was pretty. But he didn't smile or nothing, just stared at me funny when I looked at him. Unless he thought that smiling might be too obvious, and that he he might of just wanted to look at me because he thought I was pretty. I don't know.

Hi, Joe90

Do you have a psychological support? It's necessary.

You can change. It's not easy, but you can start to say "No".

Impose limits can be simpler than you think.

The most important is you take good care of yourself.

About cancer, nutrition surveys indicate that milk products are directly related to the incidence of cancer:

http://nutritionfacts.org/video/prevent-cancer-from-going-on-tor/

About the trolley guy, some people are just rude. Even if something is an accident, they are still rude about it. It can be very difficult to read their intentions and I wouldn't know if it's the anxiety or the ASD that is making you (general you) misread it. If someone has a history of being picked on and targeted, I would call it PTSD because it made them think it was intentional.

This reminds me, when I was in 7th grade, I was new in my school and many kids are nervous when they are new to a school, I sure was. But between classes I would get very upset because kids would bump into me and not apologize so I thought they did it on purpose and were picking on me. I didn't think of "They must be judging me" I just thought "They did they on purpose because they didn't apologize and I am being picked on again because I'm Beth." But I tied that to because I was picked on in the passed so it made me think it was all intentional. I never realized that it was an accident due to the crowded hallways and people get too self absorbed to even notice and kids bump each other in the halls all the time and this is expected so no apology needed. If I hand't been picked on in the past, I wouldn't have been so sensitive to it. But it got blamed on my AS. My mom calls it PTSD or delayed reaction whatever it's called. It's a form of PTSD. People have different opinions about this situation.