culdesactaco wrote:
I'm trying to get treatment for social anxiety and my psychiatrist suggested that I might be on the spectrum. I've never even thought about it because I even went to psychiatrists as a child (for things like ADHD) and no one ever mentioned autism at all.
Now that I'm reading more into it I'm noticing that I had a lot of symptoms of childhood autism. Echolalia, sensitivity to noise (still kind of a thing but very mild), monotone, repetitive movements, etc. (though I didn't have any speech delays). However, these issues seemed to almost abruptly stop when I reached the age of 11/12.
Now that I'm a young adult my psychiatrist still doesn't think I'm on the spectrum based on what I've said and a questionnaire I took. I've taken a few quizzes and all of them are pretty low-scoring and the diagnosis for autism doesn't seem to fit me (my social seclusion is more the result of anxiety than an inability to socialize at all).
Honestly I'm scared that I might actually have autism (even if it's really mild). Even so, why am I not experiencing the symptoms of autism when I had almost all of them as a child? Can you "grow out of it"?
(I'm female if that's relevant at all).
Welcome to Wrong Planet Culdesactaco.
I think there could be a couple of things that could be happening here. You could have experienced a time in your life after you grew up a little where your world was not as stressful to you and the things that were triggering your sensory overloads and echolalia might not have been as pronounced when you got older. The more stressed we are, the more pronounced our Autistic traits and symptoms tend to be. If we are in a place in life where we are doing very well and we are relaxed and have minimal amounts of stress, our traits and symptoms won't show up as much.
I found that it was the opposite for me. The older I got, the more my stresses got stronger so that caused my Autistic traits and symptoms to be much more pronounced and for me to have them much more frequently. That happens to a lot of us. But if I find a great environment that really meets my needs, they tend to kind of just disappear. Like if I am skiing an it's super quiet and it's early on a weekday morning and the mountain is pretty much empty except for the handful die hard skiers who have their weekday mornings free, or if I am hiking or kayaking in a beautiful quiet area, no one will know that I am Autistic at all. I will have no reason to have a meltdown or to suffer from sensory overload and I won't tend to have echolaia, at least not in an obvious way. So it could be that your life just got a lot less stressed as you got older.
The other thing that could be happening, is that if you had developed Autistic traits and symptoms as a child due to an external environmental factor, and that does happen, if that factor was removed from your life, your symptoms and traits may have been diminished or reversed. That also happens. But if you are Autistic from genetic factors, that cannot be outgrown. If your life just got less stressed, once you have real stress again, you will notice your traits and symptoms coming back.
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"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph