Does my child have autism??? WORRIED DAD!!

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oromero910
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10 Oct 2016, 9:41 am

We have noticed many red flags on our 18 month old son Bastian. He's not talking yet, he does babble a lot as if he's speaking in another language, we are getting him evaluated this week and there's things that worry me and things that do not.

Things that worry me:
*sometimes he seems deaf and won't acknowledge if I talk to him, I can put him down and he'll take off running without stopping when I tell him to
*he rarely turns when we call his name- he turns about 30% of the time
*seems in love with wheels, he used to turn his toys upside down to spin the wheels, but not as much any more, he plays with his cars like they're supposed to be played like most of the time, but if he sees a stroller he'll want to touch the wheels and then push the stroller/shopping cart
*doesn't like to be touched only by his mom, he prefers to walk
*he doesn't play with another toy the proper way, he wants to toss them around or put all of toys inside a huge box and also take them out.
*doesn't follow simple directions
*has limited eye contact when I'm talking to him
*he bites a lot
*doesn't point
*he reaches with his arms if he wants something, like a water bottle, or he'll bring it to me so I can open it and give him water

Things that seem positive:
*Laughs a lot when tickled, and he looks for me to keep tickling him
*Love to play peek a boo, he laughs when I hide and then say peek a boo
*enjoys to play hide and seek with me, sometime I'll chase him and he'll try to hide, and if there
's nothing to hide in he'll cover his face as if he's hiding by doing that, laughs when I find him or chase him.
*makes a lot of eye contact during peekaboo or hide and seek
*if I pretend to cry he'll come and smack me and he laughs, may be he thinks I'm playing
*he eats solid foods, loves chicken, doesn't like vegetables, but will eat several solid foods(bread, pizza, chicken, potato) and loves fruits, all kinds.
*sometimes he'll look for me to play with him
*cries if his mom leaves the room
*loves to play with our cat, he looks for him and seems to "talk" to the cat
likes to explore new things and looks for me to see where I'm at.
*he is interested in people, just not all the time and in his terms

He's not used to playing with kids, but when taken to a playground, he'll go to them, he doesn't know how to properly play with them and can be rough sometimes. we also speak 2 languages at home, even though I know he would have some words by now despite that. He had a history of ear infections and took a lot antibiotics before getting his ear tubes put in, I feel terrible because I'm reading a lot of things about too much antibiotics, I feel so guilty that this can be my fault. I do know he has some delays, just not completely sure if it is autism since I've never had experience with this disorder before. Please advise/let me know your opinions

thank you so much,
A desperate worried dad.



kraftiekortie
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10 Oct 2016, 9:50 am

Like you stated, there are lots of "positive" as well as "negative" signs in you child.

Some of the "negative" signs could be attributed to him being 18 months old; children of that age have unpredictable behavior. Many, especially boys, don't really talk much at 18 months.

Kids don't play "properly" with other kids until maybe 3 years of age. Before then, they tend to engage in something called "parallel play."

It wouldn't hurt to get him evaluated, so he can receive Early Intervention services, if required.

But he actually doesn't seem all that "bad" to me, from what you said.



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10 Oct 2016, 10:01 am

Firstly antibiotics do not cause or contribute to autism, if that's what he has. You and your wife are in no way responsible. If he does have autism you have absolutely nothing to blame yourselves for. Get him evaluated by a professional. He sounds like a nice kid.

You might be better off posting a query in this subforum...

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oromero910
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10 Oct 2016, 10:28 am

@kraftiekortie Thank you, what worries me the most is that he wont turn when I call him, unless its interesting to him, otherwise he seems deaf. But then there's all the laughter when tickled or peek a boo/hide and seek
We already called ECI but they said it would take time before getting an appointment, We're also having trouble finding somewhere to evaluate him in Dallas, his pediatrician is out of office and his office won't tell me where to go.

@jute Thank you, I'm just worried and everything that I read scares me. I'll post in that subforum, thankyou!



kraftiekortie
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10 Oct 2016, 10:41 am

It's better to put him on a 'waiting list" now than to delay.

Or find somewhere else.

Usually, at 3 years old, these sorts of evaluations are easier to get. But it's better to get it as soon as possible.



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10 Oct 2016, 11:05 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
It's better to put him on a 'waiting list" now than to delay.

Or find somewhere else.

Usually, at 3 years old, these sorts of evaluations are easier to get. But it's better to get it as soon as possible.


Indeed they waited until I was nearly 3 before making the official diagnosis. And then they diagnosed me as severe, which was either incorrect or I happened to improve.



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10 Oct 2016, 1:21 pm

The traits such as lack of eye contact and not turning towered you, touch sensitives are real autistic flags but a lot traits them are toddler traits, running away from you is typical behavoir of what is referred to as the Terrible Two's

This following is going to come off as an older person lecturing a younger person about thier generation because in a way that is what it is, but I hope you take it as the constructive advice it is meant to be.

I would be accepting of his traits that do not harm him or others instead of thinking of them as positive or negative. Kids pick up on negativity and worry more then most adults imagine.

All kids autistic or not are different, they grow and mature at different rates, one part of them may be way ahead of schedule other behind schedule. I think today there is too much panic if "markers" are missed, more of the let kids be kids attitude needs to be brought back. For example Temple Grandin was non verbal, violent and threw poo around as a young kid and she turned out allright. Of course most kids will not turn out to be Temple Grandin, but that is not the point.


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10 Oct 2016, 1:23 pm

oromero910 wrote:
We have noticed many red flags on our 18 month old son Bastian. He's not talking yet, he does babble a lot as if he's speaking in another language, we are getting him evaluated this week and there's things that worry me and things that do not.

Things that worry me:
*sometimes he seems deaf and won't acknowledge if I talk to him, I can put him down and he'll take off running without stopping when I tell him to
*he rarely turns when we call his name- he turns about 30% of the time
*seems in love with wheels, he used to turn his toys upside down to spin the wheels, but not as much any more, he plays with his cars like they're supposed to be played like most of the time, but if he sees a stroller he'll want to touch the wheels and then push the stroller/shopping cart
*doesn't like to be touched only by his mom, he prefers to walk
*he doesn't play with another toy the proper way, he wants to toss them around or put all of toys inside a huge box and also take them out.
*doesn't follow simple directions
*has limited eye contact when I'm talking to him
*he bites a lot
*doesn't point
*he reaches with his arms if he wants something, like a water bottle, or he'll bring it to me so I can open it and give him water

Things that seem positive:
*Laughs a lot when tickled, and he looks for me to keep tickling him
*Love to play peek a boo, he laughs when I hide and then say peek a boo
*enjoys to play hide and seek with me, sometime I'll chase him and he'll try to hide, and if there
's nothing to hide in he'll cover his face as if he's hiding by doing that, laughs when I find him or chase him.
*makes a lot of eye contact during peekaboo or hide and seek
*if I pretend to cry he'll come and smack me and he laughs, may be he thinks I'm playing
*he eats solid foods, loves chicken, doesn't like vegetables, but will eat several solid foods(bread, pizza, chicken, potato) and loves fruits, all kinds.
*sometimes he'll look for me to play with him
*cries if his mom leaves the room
*loves to play with our cat, he looks for him and seems to "talk" to the cat
likes to explore new things and looks for me to see where I'm at.
*he is interested in people, just not all the time and in his terms

He's not used to playing with kids, but when taken to a playground, he'll go to them, he doesn't know how to properly play with them and can be rough sometimes. we also speak 2 languages at home, even though I know he would have some words by now despite that. He had a history of ear infections and took a lot antibiotics before getting his ear tubes put in, I feel terrible because I'm reading a lot of things about too much antibiotics, I feel so guilty that this can be my fault. I do know he has some delays, just not completely sure if it is autism since I've never had experience with this disorder before. Please advise/let me know your opinions

thank you so much,
A desperate worried dad.

some of these seem a bit overly negative. ;)


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10 Oct 2016, 5:30 pm

I can't say for sure - it doesn't hurt to get him checked(you should especially check his hearing!) - but for me he sounds like a pretty normal 18 year old.
He struggles with speech but not all 1,5 year old kids talk, especially boys tend to start speaking later. Also kids from bilingual families to be late talkers.
Sensory play and curiosity about elements of things(wheels) is also normal for toddlers. That's how they learn the world and their senses.
A lot of toddlers also bite and won't listen to what you say.

It's difficult to recognize autism in children under 3 year old and high functioning autism is diagnosable even later.



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10 Oct 2016, 6:09 pm

Honestly, from the toddlers I have known, he seems pretty normal to me but you can have him assessed if you are concerned. My concern is that he might be labeled by a label happy diagnostician even if he's not autistoc. If he was my child, I might wait a little longer to see if he slows down in more areas of development. But if you trust that the diagnostician is competant and honest, I don't see any harm in having him looked at.


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10 Oct 2016, 7:29 pm

Special education teacher here. Take a deep breath! You are describing a perfectly normal developmental stage.

I'm glad you're getting an evaluation. It's really impossible to diagnose via internet forum.

The only thing that catches my ear is that he's not pointing for what he wants, and that you've noticed that something is up in he way he interacts with you. You're a parent. And if you spider-senses are telling you that something is up, that's really important to follow up on.

Just to put your mind at rest, a lot of the stuff you write about is so normal for an 18 month old. Not responding to his name every time? Totally normal. I'd be concerned if you told me he's responding less now than he used to, but assuming that's not true, 30% is a pretty typical pattern. That's just a kid ignoring you. Rebellion isn't just for teenagers. Biting? Totally normal - unpleasant and needing correction, but normal. The way he plays with toys is totally normal, too. The thing about some autistic kids is that they never stop doing this, but it's a totally normal game for a baby. What 18 month old doesn't like to play Putting Things In A Box? That's just good, clean baby fun right there.

One thing you may want to address is your own panic around your son, and his development. No doctor is going to tell you that, but that's what anonymous forums are for, if you ask my opinion. This panicked, all-caps, kind of thing is no good for him. He's going to pick up on your anxiety. So, for his sake, practicing a little chill is very important. Maybe a little Dad therapy time? It's nothing to be ashamed of. Whether or not he's autistic, your job as his Dad is exactly the same. Either way its a really hard but rewarding job where you love him for who he is, and guide him to being the best man he can be. We're talking about autism here, or more likely, a very mild learning disability. It's not some exotic aggressive cancer that will leave him with 2 weeks to live.

If I had to place a bet, I'd say your evaluation is going to come up with a prescription for speech therapy and orders to keep an eye on his development. There's no way they are going to label a kiddo with his level of development with autism yet. If this happens, please stay calm and march on. Its just speech therapy. Lots of kids go through that and are fine in school. Maybe he has a little auditory processing problem? It would be impossible to tell at his age, but you'll know when he gets to second grade or so.



SharkSandwich211
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10 Oct 2016, 9:47 pm

Oromero,

At 18months old it is hard to discern what is/might be an autistic trait from something that may be age appropriate behavior. It sounds like you are in tune with your child which is great. If your son has had a lot of ear infections it might be worth a trip to the ENT Dr. to have his hearing evaluated. There could be hearing loss. He could be biting things because he is teething? At 18 months some of these things are hard to tell. At 18 months he is just now starting to figure out what is constant in his world. I would take a look at what milestones are typically associated with 18mo old babies and see how he compares to those milestones. From there, I would look into meeting with a developmental pediatrician. Sometimes a good course of action is to have the child evaluated for the thing THAT YOU CAN RULE OUT without coming to any formal diagnosis. This allows for the family and the clinician involved to monitor the child's development. My youngest son just turned four, and up until this age where we live in Virginia there isn't a clinician that we could find to evaluate him UNTIL he was four. Try not to worry too much. Stay engaged with the well being of your child, and make educated decisions based of good information from reputable Dr's and you and our son will find your way, regardless of that is being on the spectrum or not. I hope that you find the answers you are seeking. Kind Regards. Shark



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10 Oct 2016, 11:12 pm

Yes, worth looking at an evaluation as ear problems at a young age can be common amongst those on the spectrum including myself, however i was 4 years old when the ear problems started happening, i was always getting into trouble as it was perceived i was purposely ignoring people when the reality was i couldn't hear them, this might also impede speech and language as if he does have difficulty hearing he wont be picking up language so quickly and may be taking on aspie traits as a way to compensate... My hearing difficulties went right through to late teens and to this day, i have had about nine operations now... Also do you have other family members that show traits?
It is well worth finding out as an early diagnosis can help the individual in an immense way not just for himself but also for the family. Im 40 and only just been made aware that im likely on the spectrum and still going through the process after two years. The benefit of early diagnosis is not only the help and guidance you can receive but unfortunately when you reach 18 depending on your country trying to get the help and support can be a total nightmare... So discovering at an early age has a huge number of positives :) which might also eliminate some of the co-morbids such as severe anxiety and depression that many that get diagnosed late suffer from. Also teaching approaches will likely be a little different if he is on the spectrum as the teaching will be catered around said brain type rather than what i dealt with was teachers repeating the same thing over and over to only get stressed and you ended up shutting down, it just needs the understanding of trying different approaches rather than repeating the same thing over and over expecting to get the result the teachers sometimes expect!
Does he have a fascination with water at all? Only ask i i myself did and still do have to this day and was made aware that apparently the highest mortality rate amongst young children on the spectrum is drownings. I dont know how i survived! i was terrible when it came to water a a child... This is not to alarm but just an awareness as many have fascinations with whether, fire and spinney things when in early development.

Also try to read about the spectrum coming from individuals on the spectrum as there is ALOT of misinformation out there, it not only gives you a better understanding but a more real approach to what people on the spectrum experience and every body is different..
Also find a find someone that is specialized in this area, i couldn't emphasis this enough as there are some professionals that think they have an idea but when speaking to them you soon realise they have no idea at all and sound like they are reading from a script ( which to some extent they are)
There is more i could say but i think i will hold back :)
Firstly ENT is of importance as when i had my test done they realized i was over 90% deaf in one ear and over 80% in the other, after my first op i didn't get into as much trouble as i could finally hear what people were saying, but up to that point people just thought i was being difficult when the reality was the opposite. An audio-gram will certainly rule that one out :)

As mentioned you may not have anything at all to worry about and it might be as simple as having grommets, however im sure the likely hood is they may wait a few years till he is a little more developed before having an ear op, but im not a physician so only speculation. So biting could be just his way of expressing. alot of kids bite at that age.

just try not to panic! ( easy said than done i know!)

If no family history with autism there is another possible factor. Was it a difficult birth? There has been some possible correlation to difficult births ie Breach births and possibly autism associated traits..

In meantime, enjoy the little human and get ears checked as that could be the cause of all your stress :)



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11 Oct 2016, 12:16 am

I wish the best for you and your child. :)


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11 Oct 2016, 7:33 am

So the other thread got locked and not merged so please pm me if you'd like to keep in touch.



oromero910
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11 Oct 2016, 9:52 am

I really appreciate everyone's advises and opinions. I know I might be over reacting a little, but I just can't stop worrying about him, I try not to show it around him. When I'm with him I try to make him interact with me. He loves to play hide and seek with me and peek a boo, he laughs so much when we do that, so I try to do that a lot with him.
I noticed last night that sometimes, he tries to walk on his toes, noticed it like 2 times yesterday, but over all he doesn't do that. Also last night he was playing with his toy car(the proper way) and would stop look back at me and smile. He goes to the neighbors dogs and "talks"/babbles to them, but still not responding to his name very often, he can take off running and won't stop even if I tell him to stop. His obsession with spinning things isn't that bad anymore.
We are trying really hard, we're also reading about a special diet GFCF that could help, I know it won't be easy but we're going to try that as well.
What makes me feel desperate is that I'm trying to get him evaluated asap and all the places I call are not helping at all, some say they'll give us an appointment in a year!! ! There are many places for autism treatment, but they require an official diagnosis. We're in the Dallas,Tx area and we're looking for help, I don't know if any one knows of some where I could take him.

Thank you so much!! !