Question regarding ASD?

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Just out of curiosity..

When I was a teen, I was diagnosed with a learning disability: Nonverbal Learning Disorder, by a psychologist. My then psychiatrist thought there was a possibility of PDD-NOS, but nothing was diagnosed. I later moved into a group home for mentally ill teens, where my psychiatrist there said she was almost completely sure I had Asperger's, but with all the clinics she ran and her being the children's psychiatric inpatient unit's psychiatrist, she didn't have the time to formally diagnose me. She instead wrote a letter to my school explaining this and saying that I needed an Educational Assistant to accompany me to my classes.

I have a lot of social issues, including having one or two close friends, and my girlfriend. I don't really like looking people in the eyes.. It feels very uncomfortable to me. I play with my hands or hair when nervous, excited, or annoyed. I blurt out inappropriate things in public, at least, according to my grandma I do. I have a narrow interest of things I like to and will talk about. I hate being touched. I bang my head, bite myself, scratch myself, and when I was younger I would cut myself. I have a lot of trouble processing, understanding, and expressing my emotions, which usually leads to previously explained self injurious behaviours. I feel like I hear things, although sometimes I think I'm just hearing my own thoughts out loud. I have a lot of mood highs and lows. I see things sometimes. I spoke quite early. There's more things that I don't really care to take the time to type out.

I am currently diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder, BPD, PTSD, and NVLD.

My grandma and I want to ask my current psychiatrist if she thinks I have, or will do the testing for, ASD. I just don't know if it's worth it. I was told by one psychologist that I have ASD, but could not be formally diagnosed because of my diagnosis of a psychotic disorder. I just wanted to know, if it seems worth it to even try to get my current psychiatrist's opinion or to do the testing.

It sounds like you have a lot of traits.

Yes. Get that testing. With those diagnosis alone, it seem clear to me that you are on the autism spectrum. NVLD and schitzoaffective disorder? That's your autism right there. Also, you might find that PTSD is better described by autism. The way our brain works differently means that some of us have very strong, vivid memories and difficulty with regulating the emotions that they bring up. It looks like PTSD, but the treatment needs to be autism specific.

I'm sorry you had to go through being undiagnosed and subjected to treatments that are designed for NTs. That sounds really ruff. Autism gets treated like a developmental disorder, not a mental illness. If you get a diagnosis, new therapy and support options might open up for you. Also, you will know the truth of why a lot of this went down the way it did. You will be part of a group of people. Women who were misdiagnosed with mental illness alone are a big group. A lot of them have a similar story to your's. You can find community here.

(Although, some of the stuff for BPD is acutally pretty good for autsitics, IMHO. I like dialectical behavior therapy because it balances behavioral methods with more holistic means of calming ourselves.)

It is 100% not true that a diagnosis of psychosis will rule out autism. In fact, if your diagnosis happened before the age of 18, it is on them that they didn't explore autism with you before giving you a psychosis diagnosis. Autism is way more common than juvenile psychosis. Even so, it is totally possible to have both disorders. I'm on facebook right now chatting with a kid who has both. It's called co-morbid disorders, meaning they exist together. If your doctor thinks these two things can't be co-morbid, he doesn't know autism and its time to find a new doctor.

The treatment for my "psychosis" alone has involved a lot of medication. All the meds I have had to take since age 14 have lead to high liver enzymes. I was diagnosed with psychosis at age 18. I am now 23. I just want to be able to be off medication and get a proper diagnosis. I know I may not have autism, but I'd really like to know if I do or not, whatever the answer may be.

That's really heartbreaking.

Have you read Neurotribes? It talks about a lot of stuff like this. How throughout history, autistics have been considered crazy and treated like they have mental illness.

As for getting off the meds, my advice would be to get your autism diagnosis first and then talk to your new doctors about stepping down the meds as you step up accomodations for autism. Remember, it is possible to have both, and it's nasty to have a breakdown if you take yourself off meds too fast. I know you know this already. Just reminding. Play it safe.