Im getting into trouble

Post Reply New Topic

Ive been battling now for years to get correct support services and treated humanely viewtopic.php?f=3&t=260128&p=7366495#p7366495

Its horrible, cause of my stress levels as my situation is so bad (I cant look after my home due to physical disabilities).. Im now having bad meltdowns (something I hadnt had since I was a teen). I've got myself into legal trouble due to one of these meltdowns (I hit a nurse at the hospital when I was majorly stressed and a group of medical professionals crowded very close around me.. before this i'd asked them several times not to be so close and warned them I cant handle being crowded in and people who may touch me when Im very stressed being so close).

I also hit a support worker who yelled at me when I was in a car with her, she got frustrated at me due to the way I put things I guess in the aspergers kind of way I often communicate..anyway, she kept taking offence and took offence 3 weeks straight but on this last incident when I mentioned my old support workers she yelled at me which caused me an instant lash out.

Ive got noise tollerance and cant handle sudden loud noises.. she got aggressive and yelled at me. I had no idea I was even going to lash out at her and just reacted to her being the way she was towards me in close promicity.. I just wanted to get away). and then after that incident I immediately got out of the car as quick as I could.. only to have her get out too and come over and get close to me again even though I kept telling her to please give me some space or I risked lashing out again. She continued to ignore me.

Due to this I got my support services cut off to me yet again (when I cant even do my own dishes, cleaning or go shopping by myself due to my physical health issues). Im blamed for my meltdowns with they dont care that Im being exposed to things which is major triggers and nothing is put into place to stop this. In fact they have stopped me from being able to get to my psychologist/social worker who understood the health issues I had and was trying to advocate for me and help me by refusing to provide any care worker to help me get there (I cant use the public transport system due to my physical health issues.. unable to push my wheelchair and need someone with me as I can just suddenly collapse).

Im right now feel very scared that its going to happen again as my advocate has got now autism support back in place but once again they are ignoring how I get triggered and still not putting anything in place at all to stop this occuring again (which it will.. I can lash out if unexpectively touched or yelled at, it freaks me out completely).

All my new state disability coordinator says is "my 3 year old can control his emotions, you must control yours" while giving me threats that if it happens again, I wont get any support services. Im very upset too that is said to me and that Im compared with a three year old and make to feel Im not as good as a 3 year old and implying Im being a bad person when I know I do my best. Im lashing out in some kind of fear response but being accused of being angry at them.

I need help to deal with this .. Im just getting blamed and punished and blamed more for something I actually cant help. I dont have no forewarning on when im going to lash out .. as you dont know when a support worker will go and put a hand on you unexpectively when you are already distressed or when someone is going to yell at you or get loud when right next to you.

Im told to deep breath to try to control this but as I said, I dont even know when its going to happen and no plan has been put in place to help avoid exposing me to the melt down triggers. Im afraid as I know this is going to end up happening again and I keep getting into trouble. No one recognises how hard Ive try with things and all I get is punishment.

another thing.. I did something a psychologicalist had told me to do as a management thing and to lessen risk of I would end up hitting someone eg warn if Im getting distressed and warn that it could turn into a lash out situation. So I did that on a rarely occassion when I was aware I was getting close to a meltdown.. but then by doing the warning I was then accused by the support worker as making threats I was going to hit her. (she rang the agency and told them I had threatened to hit her so then I got blamed for making threats.... when I actually warning like a psychologist had told me to I should do to make sure the other person stayed back from me and didnt freak me out more).

Im very unset by the whole way Im being precieved as if Im purposely doing all this when I am working hard to try to avoid my triggers and made out to be that Im getting angry so hitting people.. when I never hit in anger. I dont even feel anger in these incidents .. I feel completely freaked out. I hate how Im being wrongly accused of getting angry and so hitting people.

That sounds terrible. I'm so sorry.

I wonder if your shrink could give you a card/letter to hand to workers when you get too upset to advocate for yourself. It would explain what your cool down procedure is. (Step away and don't continue to engage.) I've heard of that working for some people.

The thing about care workers is that a lot of them are undereducated and poorly trained. They don't even understand what the right thing to do is.

Are you getting autism specific care? They don't sound like they know jack about autism. Sounds more like the specialize in people with physical disabilities.

No, I are not getting any autism specific care, Im getting standard disability workers. I dont think one even knew what aspergers was, she had no idea I could say wrong things at times.

"I wonder if your shrink could give you a card/letter to hand to workers when you get too upset to advocate for yourself. "

With my physical disability I cant even get to my psychologist any more as I have no support to do that (I did have a good one who was also a social worker and was going to help advocate for me. Australia government though dont cover with medicare phone appointments with psychologists, so without help to get to her I cant get any back up support there either.

When Ive tried to explain my needs to support workers including "please do not touch me when Im upset" Ive just been ignored.

Im going to put this in letter to the new one Im getting but I fear it will get ignored as it seems without having anyone who knows about the conditions I have to advocate for me, my issues get ignored.

I am sorry to hear your story, but I am not surprised. I worked in healthcare before and know how ignorant and arrogant some of healthcare workers are. In fact, that support worker should not have yelled at you. Yes, if you warn them, they consider it a threat. I ended up in PECC (Psychiatric Emergency Care Centre) because I warned people! I was given a single room to stay at the hospital and I was happy. The psychiatric team in that hospital had some understanding of ASD, but not those I lived with at the time.

My strategies: I record triggers and I try to explain. It's like an agreement or maybe create a profile. Express your wishes and explain. When I am in good mood, I try to communicate my needs. It's hard and frustrating (and draining), but that's all I can do to prevent misunderstanding. Maybe, you can try printing out some short articles about autism and meltdown and show it to those workers. Honestly, some healthcare professionals (even psychiatrists!! !) have little knowledge of autism. Some support workers and medical professionals stereotype us. They don't realise that each of us is unique and has unique needs just like everyone else. I believe education will help (well if they are open-minded and diligent enough). I have to say here that it's unethical and very disrespectful to ignore your needs. Please, don't hesitate to continue expressing. Don't give up.

I too collapse often and I almost lost my job because of that. I have been accused of not looking after myself, not eating enough, etc. They don't understand what sensory overload means. I think my body just shuts down when it all gets too much!