Need help deciding about a formal diagnosis

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Hi folks - as someone who's suffered with depression and anxiety for decades, a couple of years ago I suspected I might meet the Asperger's criteria. I remembering taking the Aspie quiz and scoring in the range, but then having my psychiatrist at the time argue against it. She happened to be a horrible psychiatrist...

Fast forward 2 years, and I'm doing well with a new pysch, new meds, and a great new therapist. And again I've revisited the Aspie subject. After doing additional extensive research and self evaluations, I'm again convinced I meet the criteria without a doubt.

Should I get a formal diagnosis? I'll have to pay for it out of pocket, I'm assuming (although I have health insurance). But I would feel greatly reassured to finally have someone tell me that yes, you are on the spectrum, and certainly some of the depression and anxiety (and all of the other stuff) is likely related to that in part. I believe this would have no impact on my work, as it would be confidential, and I don't think that I will need access to any special benefits (not 100% sure about this, though). I finally have found some providers, I think, that could diagnose me in the area but I need to call them to confirm. It's helpful that I'm a physician myself as it's raised my confidence in my own diagnosis, but it also means that I'm quite aware of the "limitations" of diagnosis, and the ever-fluctuating definitions of what qualifies someone for the spectrum. So I see a decent probability in an inaccurate mis-diagnosis, I guess.

So lots of concerns, but now having finally realized what I firmly believe I am, and reading so much that matches up with my experiences and challenges, I would really like to get some confirmation of that. However, I already feel much better reading so much in books and from others on the spectrum that matches up so well with my experiences, and so I already feel reassured by that.

So what should I do? What would you do? Thoughts? Thanks

That you need the reassurance is reason enough. Also if you are not autistic eliminating things that are not true is an essential part of any research project.

You are a physician you can afford to do this now. In your work you see how life can go bad suddenly and unexpectedly, being autistic and "pretending to be normal" increases the odds. Better to do it now then to start the process later when there is a crises and the money is not there.

Very important, you need to find a clinician knowledgable in how autism presents in mature adults. I see you are in NY. The closer to the major cities you are the better the chance of finding a competent clinician. If you are near NYC I can give you a recommendation if you PM me.

I agree with this being a very important consideration. Self-diagnosis helped me significantly and so I decided for some time that it was all I needed. It wasn't until someone said something that made me think "What about my future?" that I decided to seek a formal diagnosis.

A little more than 10 years ago, I was a wreck. I was incredibly lonely and hated every day. I forced myself so much out of my comfort zone a decade ago, and I still managed 'just getting by'. I was lucky to meet my now husband, who is incredible and has provided so much love and support. As such, I was looking back at my life and thinking "I'm doing well", because he's there to pick up the slack when I can't and is my 'safe base' when I can't navigate the social world properly. He's also very understanding of my struggles, and works to reduce them for me whenever he can. He's done that for ten years, and for much of that time we didn't even consider that I was autistic. So, it was natural for me to think that a diagnosis wasn't necessary.

But what if things change? Think about why you're doing well now - a job, a friend, a family member - and picture that gone. What would happen? If my husband left and I didn't have my daughter around I would be likely to go back to how I was as a little more than a decade ago, and that was what changed it for me. I worry that I would struggle because I'd have to go and find stable employment, I'd have to manage the house on my own, all of these things that would be very difficult for me. I wanted to be sure that if that time ever came and I couldn't fall back on the people around me, I could ask for accommodations to help.

Easy

Having difficulty interacting with anyone? Cant hold down a job? Constantly needing support from family members? Constantly depressed? Generally having difficulty in basic functioning? Get a diagnoses promptly

You can function fine? Interacting is a pain in the ass but you can do it, have a job that has a steady income? Basic tasks such as cleaning and cooking come relatively easy? Though sometimes struggle you can get along fine with no support? Diagnoses isnt necessary

Actually some psychologists wont diagnose at all if you can function typically without support.

Its really up to you, a diagnoses is a MUST if you are having constant difficulty in everyday life.

thanks all for the considerate responses. I'm leaning towards getting a diagnosis. Although I've been very fortunate in many ways, in many others I've hit the same roadblocks that others with Asperger's/ASD have as well. I have incredible social anxiety, don't have/don't want friends, am in a relationship that is only surviving because of this process of discovery (and therapy/meds), and yada yada. And to your point, who knows what the future will bring? I have a very hard time making it to work often, and so yes my life is significantly impacted.

Now I just need to find someone to assess me. I'm in Westchester, ASPartOfMe, so please PM me any ideas you might have of provider(s). Thanks again all

Is that true? I am looking into getting an assessment but by that ^ it is not necessary

I'd say, no, it isn't. Level of function, the impact on your quality of life, and the degree to which any potential autism spectrum qualities are present is something that should be evaluated carefully, by a clinician, if you feel like it'd make sense to you based off of what you've read and what other info you have. So if you score somewhere on the ASD spectrum by assessments you can take yourself, and if you have any degree of depression, anxiety, ADHD, OCD, or other diagnoses that can coexist with any autism, then I'd say do it. I see no downside to getting assessed, even if they diagnose you as neurotypical, unless they're a crappy diagnostician.

well, i finally got my diagnosis. it took about 6 months from start to finish, but it was worth it. it was expensive, but i got a really detailed assessment of my personality, and those things that I have trouble with and why. There were some really good insights there. And I got a lot of good insights on new therapy options, psych help, and groups as well. So I'd say it was definitely worth it. Most valuable was it helped show me areas where I'm really having problems (relationships, personal and work), and other things, and a bunch of this stuff I wasn't aware of, I didn't have insight into. And these things have definitely been impacting my life and function and quality of life.

Now comes more hard work