People getting mad at me? Please help
People sometimes get mad at me when i have done nothing wrong.
Just today my mom and i were sitting in the couch, both on our computers (i was on wrongplanet, she was working) and she had left the TV on. She was also eating a sort of break that is hard and makes alot o sound when you chew it. So i started feeling stressed and overwhelmed from all the noise and said "Can you turn the TV off if you're not watching?" and she glared at me silently for maybe 10 seconds and then promptly turned the TV off and went into another room.
Why did she do this? I just asked her to turn the TV if she wasn't watching it?
Teksla
_________________
Diagnosed with
F84.8 (PDD-NOS) 2014
F33.1 Major Depressive Disorder, recurrent, moderate.
Yes, and saying please helps too, along with asking in a polite tone of voice.
Does your mother know about your sensitivity to sound? If not, you can try explaining in a nice way.
Hi, Teksla!
My mother often gets angry at me for no reason (or maybe I just don't realise what I did, and she doesn't tell me).
For example, one night she forced me to make conversation with her, just because she knew I don't know how. There had been fireworks, so I asked her, 'Do you like fireworks?'. She said, 'Yes, I thought they were very pretty. Do you like fireworks?'. I said, 'No, they cause pollution and kill polar bears,' and she got really angry at me, but wouldn't tell me why. Apparently I said something wrong, but she wouldn't tell me what. She just shouted at me.
This is probably not the best option, but I tend to stay away from my mother as much as possible. That way, she cannot get angry at me, because we are not together. Aside from that, I don't really speak to her or interact if I can help it. It's easier that way.
_________________
Diagnosed: Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 without accompanying language impairment
I find it easiest to connect with people through the medium of fandoms, and enjoy the feeling of solidarity.
Too often, people say things they don't mean, and mean things they don't say.
Actually - correction on my above post - my advice probably wasn't relevant in general. If, having a diagnosis, your family accepts that there is something unusual about you (which my family does not), explanation as to why you did what you did could help. Also, you could ask what it was that offended your mother; tell her that you want to improve and are trying to ensure that you don't repeat your mistake. Hopefully, your family will help you with that, instead of yelling and berating like my family does to me, without any guidance as to exactly what I did wrong.
_________________
Diagnosed: Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 without accompanying language impairment
I find it easiest to connect with people through the medium of fandoms, and enjoy the feeling of solidarity.
Too often, people say things they don't mean, and mean things they don't say.
Oh my ... Now, I would have been amused by your answer and probably smiled ... and then you would probably wonder why I was smiling. I think what you said was kind of funny.
Basically, the goal of small talk is to find a noncontroversial topic that two people can agree on, such that you both like or enjoy the same thing. Then, when you've discovered you have something in common, it's easier to become friends.
"Do you like fireworks?"
"Yes, I thought they were very pretty. Do you like fireworks?"
"Yes, I enjoy taking photos of them. What city do you think has the best fireworks display?"
(The time to talk about the political ramifications of fireworks is with people you've known a long time and who won't get into a huge fight over it about things like how much damage does one teensy little sparkler do to our great big world anyways, and how many polar bears have been shot through the heart with a firecracker? Do you see my point?)
So maybe skip talking fireworks and talk about ... chocolate or kittens or something that most people can agree on?
...
Oh my ... Now, I would have been amused by your answer and probably smiled ... and then you would probably wonder why I was smiling. I think what you said was kind of funny.
Basically, the goal of small talk is to find a noncontroversial topic that two people can agree on, such that you both like or enjoy the same thing. Then, when you've discovered you have something in common, it's easier to become friends.
"Do you like fireworks?"
"Yes, I thought they were very pretty. Do you like fireworks?"
"Yes, I enjoy taking photos of them. What city do you think has the best fireworks display?"
(The time to talk about the political ramifications of fireworks is with people you've known a long time and who won't get into a huge fight over it about things like how much damage does one teensy little sparkler do to our great big world anyways, and how many polar bears have been shot through the heart with a firecracker? Do you see my point?)
So maybe skip talking fireworks and talk about ... chocolate or kittens or something that most people can agree on?
...
I didn't know that my mother was going to be offended by fireworks!
Conversation is something I really don't understand. To me, your sample conversation seems very illogical. It seems to jump from topic to topic - enjoying fireworks -> taking pictures of fireworks -> city with the best fireworks display. I understand that it's all about fireworks, but it's very confusing for me, which is why my 'conversations' turn out like interviews (one person asking questions, the other answering).
_________________
Diagnosed: Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 without accompanying language impairment
I find it easiest to connect with people through the medium of fandoms, and enjoy the feeling of solidarity.
Too often, people say things they don't mean, and mean things they don't say.
My mother often gets angry at me for no reason (or maybe I just don't realise what I did, and she doesn't tell me).
For example, one night she forced me to make conversation with her, just because she knew I don't know how. There had been fireworks, so I asked her, 'Do you like fireworks?'. She said, 'Yes, I thought they were very pretty. Do you like fireworks?'. I said, 'No, they cause pollution and kill polar bears,' and she got really angry at me, but wouldn't tell me why. Apparently I said something wrong, but she wouldn't tell me what. She just shouted at me.
This is probably not the best option, but I tend to stay away from my mother as much as possible. That way, she cannot get angry at me, because we are not together. Aside from that, I don't really speak to her or interact if I can help it. It's easier that way.
How exactly do they cause pollution and kill polar bears? I'm confused. I can understand if you mean people don't pick up their mess after the fireworks but polar bears?
_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
My mother often gets angry at me for no reason (or maybe I just don't realise what I did, and she doesn't tell me).
For example, one night she forced me to make conversation with her, just because she knew I don't know how. There had been fireworks, so I asked her, 'Do you like fireworks?'. She said, 'Yes, I thought they were very pretty. Do you like fireworks?'. I said, 'No, they cause pollution and kill polar bears,' and she got really angry at me, but wouldn't tell me why. Apparently I said something wrong, but she wouldn't tell me what. She just shouted at me.
This is probably not the best option, but I tend to stay away from my mother as much as possible. That way, she cannot get angry at me, because we are not together. Aside from that, I don't really speak to her or interact if I can help it. It's easier that way.
How exactly do they cause pollution and kill polar bears? I'm confused. I can understand if you mean people don't pick up their mess after the fireworks but polar bears?
Fireworks release pollution unnecessarily. Pollution contributes to global warming. Global warming reduces the polar bears' habitat, leading to their death.
_________________
Diagnosed: Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 without accompanying language impairment
I find it easiest to connect with people through the medium of fandoms, and enjoy the feeling of solidarity.
Too often, people say things they don't mean, and mean things they don't say.
Oh my ... Now, I would have been amused by your answer and probably smiled ... and then you would probably wonder why I was smiling. I think what you said was kind of funny.
Basically, the goal of small talk is to find a noncontroversial topic that two people can agree on, such that you both like or enjoy the same thing. Then, when you've discovered you have something in common, it's easier to become friends.
"Do you like fireworks?"
"Yes, I thought they were very pretty. Do you like fireworks?"
"Yes, I enjoy taking photos of them. What city do you think has the best fireworks display?"
(The time to talk about the political ramifications of fireworks is with people you've known a long time and who won't get into a huge fight over it about things like how much damage does one teensy little sparkler do to our great big world anyways, and how many polar bears have been shot through the heart with a firecracker? Do you see my point?)
So maybe skip talking fireworks and talk about ... chocolate or kittens or something that most people can agree on?
...
I didn't know that my mother was going to be offended by fireworks!
Conversation is something I really don't understand. To me, your sample conversation seems very illogical. It seems to jump from topic to topic - enjoying fireworks -> taking pictures of fireworks -> city with the best fireworks display. I understand that it's all about fireworks, but it's very confusing for me, which is why my 'conversations' turn out like interviews (one person asking questions, the other answering).
Yes, normal NT small-talk conversations do jump ... from one person to the other, back and forth. Like playing ping pong or tennis. The goal is for each person to show interest in the other person, to show that you're listening and care enough to ask a question that he or she will enjoy answering. Then, the person you're speaking with should reciprocate and ask you a question that you will enjoy answering.
When you get to know each other this way, eventually you can go deeper into more philosophical discussions ... but that generally takes time and is a gradual process.
...
| Similar Topics | |
|---|---|
| Are there a lot of crazy people in this world? |
11 Jul 2026, 4:07 pm |
| Why are people questioning my ability to consent to sex? |
10 Jul 2026, 2:11 pm |
