How to live independantly with aspergers?
Hi, I am 18 years old right know and i officially became an adult but... i want to be financially independant. I am studying at home for university right know but i know i'll have zero friends at university. So i am afraid to attend university. This discourages me about studying for exam. i dont know what i should do because i have aspergers and it looks like there is no way of earning my own money other than graduating a university. Because here in turkey, people who didn't attend a university, they become a construction worker or cashier or cleaner or something. And I can't do those jobs because of autism. And it's too hard to graduate university and get a job because of my autism. What should i do know? I dont want to grab my fathers money forever so what know? and my mother and father want me to attend university but i'm afraid. When i don't study my lessons they worry about my future too much. please help what to do?
I can understand everything except social things and a small error in my brain makes me disabled. but why are other people normal and i'm disabled. sometimes i think god created me for fun. Please help me what should i do to live independantly like other humans
Disability is not a fault. It simply means you can't work enough to support yourself. It doesn't mean you can't have a normal life or anything like that. That belief borders on ableism. If you need disability get it while you're still living at home. If it's the same in your country there is a no income evaluation period to prove you need it. Better to do it at home than on the streets.
If a person thinks of him/self as "disabled," there is the tendency for that person to feel that he/she is not "whole" in some way.
I just feel the person should think of him/her self as a whole person who has difficulty in certain areas, just like all people have difficulty in certain areas.
My belief is not an "ableist" belief (via your definition of "ableist.")
I wish they'd come up with a different term than "ableist." There's nothing wrong with being "able."
Ok... which one should I do?
1. Just study hard at home and go to university next year.
2. Study at home and get a job at the same time, you don't go to school at the moment, you should work. (please specify, which job)
3. Study but don't get a job now, do some social activities (please specify).
4. None of them, do something else (please specify).
If you have the opportunity to study without having a job, I would suggest taking it. For me, staying healthy as a aspergian is all about keeping things simple. I really do think that post-degree jobs tend to be better for us. My opinion is that it's worth it to get your degree.
As for not having friends - that doesn't matter. You aren't there for friends. You are there to learn and to start your career. I HOPE you get friends. Friends are nice. But they should not stop you from pursuing your goals.
As for social activities on campus, I suggest joining clubs. That's a great way to meet people with whom you have something in common. You might be surprised to learn how many people are just like you at university. It might be easier than you think to develop a circle of friends.
I chose to stay away from the party scene while I was at school. It was too complicated and too uncomfortable, sensory wise. There were plenty of students who felt the same way. We played a lot of board games and watched movies together. It was all good.
You don't need friends to study at uni so don't let that put you off. If anything it'll be an advantage. Not sure what it's like in Turkey, but here in the UK I was about the only student who was seemingly there to study and do the work, everyone else was just there for the "social experience".
I am not sure about what is support system but... I went to therapists and psychiatrists for support and I'm using pills now. I am better than before i think. I'm using three pills:
- Abilify
- Prozac
- Concerta
Im not sure about miligrams.
I felt the same at first years of high school, I was nerd and they were hanging out with each other. But in the last years they became hardworking, i became lazy because i got depressed and i gave up on lessons. And i left school and now finished open school. there is no real difference between normal and open school but i know it was a mistake. I think i should learn to stay motivated and survive difficulties
I am not sure about what is support system but... I went to therapists and psychiatrists for support and I'm using pills now. I am better than before i think. I'm using three pills:
- Abilify
- Prozac
- Concerta
Im not sure about miligrams.
In the US some campuses offer services where students with disabilities can go for extra help. Or they can discuss with instructors if they need something like a quieter place to take a test when it's normally in the classroom. I haven't used it but I've seen them. I know sometimes students are allowed to make an exception for personal computers in class if it's for notes as well.
I just feel the person should think of him/her self as a whole person who has difficulty in certain areas, just like all people have difficulty in certain areas.
My belief is not an "ableist" belief (via your definition of "ableist.")
I wish they'd come up with a different term than "ableist." There's nothing wrong with being "able."
I and multiple friends of mine are disabled and none of us see ourselves that way. You are unintentionally supporting an ableist ideal. The term is obviously derived from people expecting people that are unable to do certain things to be able to do them. Such as expecting someone with a fractured spine injury to stand all day just because they can walk.
I can second this, only one out of my 80 friends is actually using their degree. Everyone else is so plastered they're bordering on alcoholism.
1. Just study hard at home and go to university next year.
2. Study at home and get a job at the same time, you don't go to school at the moment, you should work. (please specify, which job)
3. Study but don't get a job now, do some social activities (please specify).
4. None of them, do something else (please specify).
Option 2 would enable you to get ahead academically and financially. It will also enable you to better understand your potential limitations in the workforce. I recommend option 2 with a therapist. If you grow as a person before entering college you're likely to make less mistakes than most people your age in college. This option will also enable you to progress into adulthood responsibilities with Aspergers, without overwhelming yourself or possibly going through a circle of perpetual disappointment.
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