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PIgeek
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12 Dec 2016, 7:38 am

hi, in your opinion is be different (and see things in a different way) a good thing? i wonder if being "normal" (like other people, without judgements about the term) is like "losing" something. might be our lives easier?
p.s. however i am proud to be different
sorry about my grammar, conditional is not my strong point :wink:


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ArielsSong
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12 Dec 2016, 10:13 am

PIgeek wrote:
hi, in your opinion is be different (and see things in a different way) a good thing? i wonder if being "normal" (like other people, without judgements about the term) is like "losing" something. might be our lives easier?
p.s. however i am proud to be different
sorry about my grammar, conditional is not my strong point :wink:


Mixed opinions.

There is a lot, A LOT, that I like about myself.

I love that I have no interest in group politics or status, so I'm not wrapped up in being fake or doing things for attention or to look good. I love that I'm just myself and I'm not trying to make an impression on anyone.

I like that I trust my own instincts and they don't let me down. My NT friends seem to overthink things or look for how others are doing things, to feel any sense of security. I get that from believing in myself and controlling my own destiny. I really don't know if that's typical autistic, and I'm inclined to think it doesn't sound it, but it's something that I've noticed personally. There are so many people that I know that read parenting books for every little thing, and panic whenever their child does anything new. There are so many people I know that hate their jobs or certain things about their lives, but make no effort to change because they're comfortable. I think this is all part of the obsession with image and caring what other people think, and needing group approval to feel self-assured, but I get that from within.

I like that I've never had an interest in anything that to me seems purposeless - drinking, drugs, watching sport and supporting a team. I feel like I don't have many endeavours in life, but when I do I'm committed to them and they have a strong purpose.

I'm not especially talented. To the NT mind, and perhaps also to more talented or interested autistic minds, I probably appear quite dull. I like the simple things in life and I don't do much. But, I'm very happy with that. My life is simple, but at the same time when I do things it's for good reason.

So, I'd say that all of that makes me different and, from a subjective perspective, I feel 'better' because of it.

But, obviously to Mr/Mrs NT it may seem very lacking. It seems that NTs like being competitive, they like being bitchy, they like playing mental games, they like upholding an image and acting up to it, they like being noticed and praised, they like attention, they like things that I would consider to be 'mindless' activities because there appears to be an emotion and camaraderie from being swept up in supporting a sports team or getting drunk together. And if that's where they find value, they probably consider themselves much 'better' than me. And their way is just as valid.

I feel that simple and deep is better.

I think most would feel that complicated and shallow is better.

And who's to say which is right? I feel like they're missing something, but maybe I'm also missing something from never having experienced whatever thrill they get from being a part of something much bigger - like a hive, almost, only less efficient and 'together'.



PIgeek
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12 Dec 2016, 10:38 am

i don't know how to reply but like what ArielsSong wrote.
i think there are so many people ND (i am not just talking about autism but every others) that the term "normal" is quite wrong.
p.s i have probably made lot's of technical error about reply. forgive me, i am still learning about this website :D


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"Go ask Alice, i think she'll know
when logic, and proportion
have fallen sloppy dead
and the white knight is talking backwards
and the red queen is off with her head
remember what the dormouse said
feed your head, feed your head"

White rabbit -
Jefferson Airplane


ProfessorJohn
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12 Dec 2016, 11:47 am

I think being normal would have made my life much easier growing up. There is a good chance that I wouldn't have been bullied, rejected by every girl I asked out, picked on and things like that, so my self esteem would be much better today. I would most likely have been better at getting jobs when I was younger. At the same time, I guess I would have to say that things today are really good for me, and not sure how living a normal childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood would have made life today, other than having more self esteem and self confidence.

I will say that many people in these forums sure have a negative view of NT people. I am sure there are some like them, but many NTs I know are not as petty and superficial as others make them out to be. Many of them are really good people, and I wish I had many of the positive traits they do.



TheAP
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12 Dec 2016, 12:13 pm

I think being different is a good thing, not because we're any better for being different, but because diversity makes the world interesting. Maybe our lives would be easier if we were normal, but who knows? NTs have a lot of problems too. And what is normal? How do you define what constitutes normal? Everyone has things that make them different.



BTDT
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12 Dec 2016, 12:18 pm

While life is harder when you are different, it can be very useful to have a diversity of people.

For instance, the people who solve problems, such as cures to nasty diseases, are rarely "normal."

Having those people around can make life easier for everyone.



PIgeek
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12 Dec 2016, 12:47 pm

i am sorry about that misunderstanding. i didn't answer if we are better, i have never thought this thing, NT are my family and my "social life". they are part of my life and i think that most of them are wonderful people.
i just wonder if we have some kind of advantage or "extra" (if i can say so).


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"Go ask Alice, i think she'll know
when logic, and proportion
have fallen sloppy dead
and the white knight is talking backwards
and the red queen is off with her head
remember what the dormouse said
feed your head, feed your head"

White rabbit -
Jefferson Airplane


TheAP
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12 Dec 2016, 12:57 pm

I didn't mean to say that you said that, I was just explaining what I meant by different being a good thing.



PIgeek
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12 Dec 2016, 1:10 pm

ok :)
i don't want to be rude in my cyberlife too :D


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"Go ask Alice, i think she'll know
when logic, and proportion
have fallen sloppy dead
and the white knight is talking backwards
and the red queen is off with her head
remember what the dormouse said
feed your head, feed your head"

White rabbit -
Jefferson Airplane


ASPartOfMe
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12 Dec 2016, 1:31 pm

It depends on what he difference is. Bieng a mass murderer is different from most people but not good. Bieng Mother Teresais different but good.

Bieng different makes life harder.


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neurotypicalET
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12 Dec 2016, 4:32 pm

No...not really...being different is just that....different....I do wish though that I can see the world from a pure NT's point of view just to know what I'm missing.....its like watching 2d for all your life while everybody else sees 3d sooner or later you're gonna want to know what it's like...curiosity is a b*tch...


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12 Dec 2016, 7:08 pm

I have always struggled to conform in all respects. Even as a kid when most kids were wearing corduroy dungarees I was in Oasis shirts and Benneton hats. 10 years later I was in three-piece suits thinking I was like a young Marc Bolan as he appeared in Town magazine with his mates in 1962. Now just as Marc was all about the glam rock wear 10 years later, so am I. I love how lamé stuff is coming back :)


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