Desiring Freedom

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Hello, I am just a lost person who seeks something that I am unsure of. I desire freedom from the system, from society, I could easily be a hermit and be self sufficient with a garden and some fuel. I would of course not be allowed this, even the smallest cabin would be forbidden to me because of the current capitalistic plutocracy that we live in. I have a strange interest for information but I'm both incapable of keeping up with the normal system and incapable of retaining information from the normal system. I go to a normal school (twice now I've been recommended to an Aspergers school, but that's not going to happen) and I struggle constantly. My grades flop, and I try my best to understand and keep up but I simply am incapable of decoding every single word that is spewed out to me. I am extremely against society, I just want to be a hermit and am perfectly aware of the side effects of long social isolation but I'm fairly confident that my hatred of other humans will fuel me through it. I just don't know what to do anymore. The isolation I seek is regulated. I just want to go out into a forest where there is beauty and there is something to understand and see, something where I don't have to force myself into an uncomfortable mold and force myself to align with a corrupted, decaying society full of nasty manipulative demons. I just want to see the world in terms of what I want to see and I know this is impossible, but as a result of this impossibility so is my desire to compete in sucha nasty world. This whole rant resulted in me not understandingsociety, but I guess I can't be th eonly one. Thans for reading if you did.

Try researching living off the grid. There's a lot of information about it now as it's kind of a cool thing to do.

If you don't mind my asking though-- why is Asperger's school not going to happen? Is it out of reach financially or something else?

Though I would say I only have about 3 friends and 1 good friend at the current school I go to, changing would be extremely difficult as this is my last year, and there's also the worry that I may not need it, or it may be too hard or too easy, and wasn't what I expected. I just don't know myself.