Is it weird that I envy people that don't have friends?

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I won't say who I know but I think I know someone who doesn't have friends. I worry about social stuff and i envy the person I know whop doesn't have friends because they don't worry about social stuff or upsetting their friends. please comment on this.

I'll take your friends and you can have my no friends any day.

Sounds to me like you don't actually envy not having friends; you envy the idea of not having to worry about socializing.

It can mean various things from the way I see it:

You envy the idea of not having to socialize.
May involve social anxiety, or the hassles or one's inability to fit in.

You envy the idea of not to ought to do things for the sake of friendships or relationships.
May involve attachment or commitment issues, or poor assertiveness or one's prioritizing skills.

You envy the idea of emotionally not needing other people in life or pleasing society as a whole.
May involve a lot of negative circumstances or that socialization for you is high risk and low reward.

You envy the idea of having a less chaotic life that usually involves not having to get too involved or attached with people.
May involve desiring to burn bridges by being with the wrong people, or simply wanting to start anew.

You envy the idea of asociality or the lesser or lack of psychological need for socialization because it looked easier.
May involve being extroverted or too socially conscious, yet unable to meet social needs or standards.

You envy the idea of being an independent lone wolf because they made it look easier.
May involve plain infatuation over the idea of yourself vs what you did and have.


It can be none of these. It can be any one of these.
It can be any combination of these. It can be all of it.

I get it why though.
And it's nothing to be worried about. Some NTs even envy the same ideas for the same reasons.

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Nothing weird about envying somebody who doesn't have a burden you're saddled with. Just that to think that somebody is happier overall than you are might be more imagination than reality. But if he's content in his splendid isolation, envying the entire person would be more appropriate. Some people are content that way. Me, I can't live with people, but I can't live without them either, and I can't seem to get used to the idea that I can't quite get the benefits of both. Doesn't make it any easier that I once had a circle of easy-going friends among whom I felt little or no anxiety. I lost most of them when I started a family, and looking back I'm pretty sure I'd been making social gaffes galore that my friends were too kind to tell me about - I was undiagnosed in those days - so even if I could re-create the same situation again, I'd probably be more anxious with them because I'm wiser than I used to be. A fool does what he likes, and lives in a kind of paradise, but a wise man can only do what he wisely knows he must.

You could just break up with all your friends and then you won't have that problem anymore

I guess if someone didn't have friends and it didn't bother them then that's something you could envy.

But I suspect most people who have no friends would very much like to have some, and the absence is source of considerable upset for them.

I don't have friends and I love it.

I used to go through stages of feeling lonely but I don't anymore. People have burned me so much and so often, I'm over it. And honestly, I am SO much happier without them. I don't have to worry about putting on a mask every time I see friends. I don't have to make up excuses not to attend parties or events. I live my life on my terms and I guess I am really fortunate that I enjoy my own company more than anyone else I have ever met.

Try it. You might like it too.

I do have a few friends but I haven't seen them at all since the pandemic hit, and they're not really the sort to talk on the phone (only one of them is, and I do phone her every now and again). But I do have my partner, and my family, and my partner's family, and my work colleagues, and Facebook and WP helps a lot too, so it's not like I'm lonely really.

However, I do envy people who make friends quickly, or those who have kept friends with people from school. I know I could try and chase up old schoolfriends on Facebook but it's not as easy as it sounds. I feel awkward and don't want to come across as too needy or annoying or weird.