I like my women like I like my coffee

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Picked by migrant workers.

Just joking.

I wish I could tell jokes better. Anyone noticed NTs are often good at that?

I'm certain it's a reason I'm not as popular with the ladies and making friends as I'd like to be.

Alright, so there's enough doom and gloom around here. How about ending on a light note?

Women are attracted to bad guys. I read that in a magazine while I was in prison that I stole. Twice.

You know what's tragic about this comedy post I've made? These jokes are not my own but by a comedian called Stewart Francis. Shakespeare truly had that life mapped out. Even when we laugh we cry!

This genuinely made me laugh. Though, I figure jokes are remembering something funny or making up something very fast on the spot and then apply it to the situation/conversation. I think it's a charisma skill that takes time and practice to learn honestly, which in itself means having practice in social situations or learning from others who are very charismatic.

I suspect some autistic people are good at telling jokes. There are at least 3 well-known comedians I can think of who have claimed to be on the spectrum (whether they are or not I don't claim to know).

I'm not great at it, myself. Either I'll start laughing before I reach the punchline, or I get all anal about getting the details right, and keep correcting myself to make sure I get it right - by which time my prospective audience has gotten bored. In the latter case, I think that's my ASD showing because I want to be absolutely sure I tell it correctly, whereas an NT wouldn't be as concerned with keeping the original storyline pristine as long as they delivered the punch line effectively.

I'm usually fairly good at "getting" jokes, but I seriously don't understand that one...

Since it appears that this is a topic relating to jokes, I'll tell one. I make jokes and puns a lot.

I'd make a good chemistry joke right now, but I'm afraid all the good ones argon.

Amine chemistry is easy to learn. That's because it's pretty basic.

When tires get old, they're retired.

The steel bar that was placed into the furnace got so hot it lost its temper.

...weak and instant? Oh dear. I can't believe I just wrote that.

I'm terrible at being funny. The kind of unfunny that means people close to you put their arm around you and say "I love you, (purpletoupee), but the things you say, they don't make sense." I'm content with having a good sense of other people's humour.

Though, tbf, I've had very little practise as I'm not a sociable person to say the least. I also literally feel like I have a gun to my head in most social environments. I don't think many people could be funny in those conditions.

I think some people with autism have a brilliant sense of humour. Also I always wondered if John Linnell of TMBG may have aspergers or something, and he has a really quick wit and a cool sardonic/surrealist style of humour.

Plus, many people find actual joke telling hard. Lots of actual comedians find traditional joke writing hard, and actually go for different kinds of comedy.

I think being funny is a real skill, although it's not talked about as something you can learn. Why don't you get a book on joke-writing, or join a class (if you dare)? Obviously like any art you have to have a creative streak but learning to be funny is actually quite logical I think.

I don't try to be funny because noone understands a thing that comes out of my mouth.

I'm a terrific comedian.... just not by choice.

Scripted jokes out of a book always bored me. At best, they're stale one-liners, at worst, downright filthy. Some years ago, there were whole book series with various titles such as "Truly Tasteless Jokes," "Gross Jokes," and the like. The series lived up to its name. Most of the jokes were old news, but some were truly hideous, making light of things such as man's inhumanity to man and animals, topical ripped from the headlines humor and demeaning jokes about people with disabilities. I didn't mind most of the jokes about celebrities-most of them are pretty vapid and tell jokes on themselves with their behavior, so even they were pretty superfluous.

Things I find funny are everyday observations about life, the cute behaviors of my pets, plays on words and funny uses of language.

I wouldnt call myself "a wit".

But apparently I have gotten partway there.

Folks tell me all the time that I am a "half wit"!

Must admit, I prefer the Airplane version of the joke. But i'm a bad man.

I like my coffee like I like my men.

Ground up in my fridge.

I'm not good with jokes either...

What's the difference between a chimney?

Guitar strings, because peanuts don't have wheels! HAHAHA! Get it?

A young Russian boy living in Tashkent, Uzbekistan suffered from asthma. His mother gave him flute lessons. As a child, the little boy learned to refer to the flute as his...

Denis Istomin inhaler (not "antihistamine")

I don't get it.