i want to tell people about my autism

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i feel scared to sometimes

when i get a girlfriend or a friend
i wanna tell her or my friend
how do i tell people

how u think he/she might react.

do u feel scared to tell people bout it

Yes, personally I feel disclosure has the potential to bring up too many issues in most situations. If I had a girlfriend who seemed to be working out, I'd probably let her know at some point though.

You can get hints about how she might react by observing how she responds to similar situations. If she's pretty easy-going and not judgmental about other things, that's a good start.

If it's not affecting your relationship already, you could remind her that nothing will change afterwords either. And if it is affecting your relationship in some way, and she's still around then it's probably not a big deal for her either.

This site is a really good outlet to talk about things also, and personally I prefer it to discussing those topics "in real life" as it were.

Saying "I have autism" is the only way I can think of.

How someone reacts to that info tells you if they are worth having as a companion.

I guess the timing and approach are going to vary for each person. In my case, after being diagnosed for about 6 months, I went public with my diagnosis. I don't make a big deal about it on a daily basis, but I will casually mention it in conversations and on social media when I'm talking about sensory issues, difficulties reading other people, etc.

Just be aware that a lot of people have no real understanding of what ASD is, so just telling them "I'm autistic," may leave them scratching their heads and unsure how to respond. If they seem unsure about it, it may help to have a short "elevator speech" prepared to educate them about some of the basic features. And, of course, some people don't care or may even try to persuade you that you're not on the spectrum. Reactions really vary.

One idea might be to find a timely article or study on the topic, and show it to a prospective friend / romantic interest, and sort of test their reaction. Maybe ask them with a smile if it reminds them of anyone they know.

I'm still waiting on getting my official diagnosis, however I tend to mention it casually as the poster before me stated. Generally people have at least the basics of what it is, or brush it off and on rare occasion they will question me about it. I feel less pressured to behave a certain way since I do this. Especially with romantic interests I try to mention it in the first few dates, that way my "stand offish" behavior is more understandable rather than them thinking I'm not interested.

Have you told many people before?

I would only tell a person whom I REALLY trust.

no

If we don't disclose our autism to others in a reasonable time, especially friends and partners, when should we? Should we build relationships over years and even decades before disclosing? Would our friends and partners trust us after learning that we had hid significant information from them for so long?

Even if you never tell anyone, they're going to suspect something. People are quick to notice any unusual behaviors these days. When I was younger and long before Aspergers' even became officially recognized, other people knew I was different. I knew I was, but no one back then knew why. I was given all kinds of derogatory and inaccurate labels such as "schizophrenic", "behaviorally dysfunctional", and even "mildly ret*d". This was mainly when I was in my teens and twenties, which was a complete contrast to my being called things like "intelligent", "talented", and "future artist" as a child.

In all honesty, I have never been in this situation. I have not been diagnosed with ASD, or anything else. I could not tell people about my suspected ASD until less than a fortnight ago, when I confronted my parents about their damaging denial. Otherwise, my parents might have found out and punished me. The one person I talked to before that (a close friend who I asked not to tell anyone) did not receive a straight 'I think I have ASD' message from me. Instead, I asked her if she thought I could have AS (she replied in the affirmative).

If I were in your situation, I would probably wait a while, until I had developed a level of understanding and connection with the other person. Then I would tell them, as EzraS said, 'I have autism,' or something equally direct. The reason why I would wait is to avoid the person knowing me only through a mindset affected by the knowledge that I had ASD. I would want them to know me first as a person, not a diagnosis.
Hope this helps!