Overwhelmed and irritated at family gatherings

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So, it´s easter time and I have visit my family (they are living hours away).
My siblings have children and the more they come up and communicate with me the more tired and overwhelmed I´m getting. My siblings doesn´t understand that I have sensory issues, like standing too close or ask too much (stupid) questions... they do know that I´m "special", but they don´t really taking it seriously even if they not toddlers anymore and should know better. My siblings would never explain to the kids either that they should be more gently or anything that would help me, they just say that I´m not interested in kids and that´s a shame I care so little (even if I´m always giving them birthday gifts).
I always get very irritated and tired one day or two before i´m meet them, it´s like I know there is going to be arguing or stupid comments so I prepare for it in my head. Sure I can just skip to meet them, but it´s my family and if I didn´t have my spouse, I be totally alone. It´s not a goal for me to be more isolated and alone that I already am.

The thing is, I do have big trouble with communicating, like saying the right stuff in the right time. Most of the cases I´m getting really angry/irritated and can´t calm myself down. I´m not yelling or throw things on the floor, it´s more like I´m boiling on the inside and can´t tell them how I feel because I´m too upset.

How many of you are getting mad/irritated before you meeting up with family because of similar problems?
How to avoid this things to happend in the future?

Recently, I created keyring cards (like found at Stickman Communications) about needing space or not asking me too many questions. I would just hand one to the other person when I started to get overwhelmed. I have not had an opportunity to use them yet.

_________________
31st of July, 2013
Diagnosed: Autism Spectrum Disorder, Auditory-Verbal Processing Speed Disorder, and Visual-Motor Processing Speed Disorder.

Weak Emerging Social Communicator (The Social Thinking-­Social Communication Profile by Michelle Garcia Winner, Pamela Crooke and Stephanie Madrigal)

"I am silently correcting your grammar."

My immediate family always knew to give each other space, so the only problem was at extended family gatherings. Especially on my dad's side. He was one of seven children and it seems like every one of my aunts and uncles was trying to hit that number too - so there are kids running amok everywhere! I would usually stay in close proximity to my parents, or scurry away somewhere outside with fewer people.

My mom's side was a little better, because there was less of them and they are very "Midwestern Nice". For those who don't know, it's apparently a veneer of civility and cheerfulness covering up a roiling sea of passive-aggressiveness. This article sums it up entertainingly: https://www.thrillist.com/lifestyle/nation/my-life-living-midwestern-nice ).

For someone who takes social interactions at face-value and who is largely blind to subtle communication though, this seemed like a refreshing change from my dad's family's "Hillbilly Realism"; which often involved a lot of yelling and chaos and physicality, even when people were happy. It was only on the way home in the car that my mom would vent to the rest of us that I had any reason to suspect more was going on under the surface . She is probably the only one of my immediate family not on the spectrum, and growing up I learned to watch her reactions to gauge how socially acceptable things might be.

Anyhoo, now that I'm living on my own I don't have to visit relatives if I don't want to. And I don't.

I usually try and escape to another room, or go off with the children and then read. If my parents saw me reading they would get angry, but the children don't mind.

Pretty much my whole family annoys me.

I struggle with my family get togethers too. Besides the awkwardness and my poor social skills, there was like 20 relatives all crowded in my house today for 5 hours including nephews and nieces talking nonstop. My head feels like it is going to explode. Only my parents, aunt and uncle know i have autism but I'm sure they all know that I am odd and different regardless. I am guilt tripped by my mom if I try and leave the area and just sit in my room for much of the time.

I don't go to family parties anymore, I haven't been to one for over 5 years. I have trouble talking too, but I have more problems too like anxiety, exhaustion & sensitive to lights, & more things.

My mum's extended family is enormous and we'll be seeing them this Easter Sunday. I do look forward to seeing the rest of my family but Jesus, it really takes it out of you. I sympathise that it can be really difficult. It takes a lot of energy to maintain what would be considered acceptable social skills for an extended time without relief until everybody goes home. I don't know what to say to everyone so usually just sit around listening to the others with the exception of my uncle the host; an environment gadfly like me. Once the alcohol has done it's rounds tensions noticeably reduce, funnily enough.
There is just one problem with this get-together however: my aunt and uncle, childless, wealthy and very... well, good at hosting parties... utterly hate one of my other aunts/uncles who they had some money trouble with, years ago.
There's a real rift there, and while I know both my aunts are finally willing to let it go, can't say the same for the men. I just hope if tensions start running high my nan doesn't say anything that will cause a confrontation, I would dread witnessing that. With any luck, this time around she'll limit herself to making awkward remarks about everybody's weight.

Hoo boy, this is a common problem for me. I like to spend lots of time alone, and when I'm visiting family it's usually for days on end. I get tired pretty quickly and even when I practice my social skills I often lose the mental stamina over time. I think I come off as unfriendly and irritable because of it.

My advice is to get some alone time whenever you can. If the people in your life lobby to get you to socialize more than you're able to, it's tempting to appease them but they might respect you more if you stand up for yourself.

Other than that, my best strategy is to try to think about something else. Anything other that the current situation.