No one likes to talk to me and i don't understand

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its really difficult because i talk about same subjects not interested other people topics my parents is confusing me so much i think they dont like me dont want to talk to me they keep asking about questing like stop asking same question they were frustrated and i lose walked away annoyed in situation i feel like want to kill my self because of that even you makes me think want something you easily get annoyed with me i lose interest talking so frustrating and now i dont know what to do

Hi there Berabara - I've just joined this site and I'm a mother of a 9 year old boy who is non-verbal with autism. I noticed you are from Warwick, Queensland - which is coincidentally very close to where I grew up.

Our little boy is obsessed with escalators and has a hand gesture to indicate 'escalator'. He will ask to watch escalators on YouTube 100s of times per day. He is allowed to watch them in the morning before 8am (non-peak time) and for 15 minutes at night-time. We understand that his repeated requests are related to his autism and that he finds it incredibly difficult to move on to other topics. Understanding this helps us not to get overly frustrated with him, as we know he just can't help it.

I can't speak for your parents but I am almost 100% confident that they love you very much and are probably just a bit exhausted that your interests are so narrow. Neurotypical people would also tend to view your lack of interest in what other people's interests are as rude. My husband comes across as rude when he bluntly tells me he isn't interested in what I have to say about something.

Maybe tell your parents that you are aware that your wanting to talk about the same topics a lot must be frustrating for them - ask them if you can agree to put some boundaries around when and for how long you talk about these topics e.g. 30 minutes each day. Tell them how important it is to you to have them in your life and how thankful you are to have them as your parents.

Every problem has a solution and the solution is never to take your own life - that would truly be the worst thing you could do to your family - they would never get over it and always blame themselves for not seeing the signs and intervening to stop it. All the best Berabara - thinking of you! Liz

Perhaps you could do something with your special interest besides talk about them? Perhaps use that interest to create some art to show people what you like?

Hi Berabara

You'll get better results by asking about them, rather than trying to talk about a shared subject on purpose.

Ask how their day has been or what they've been doing. When they answer, try to imagine how you would feel doing those things, then tell them. Use appropriate responses like "that sounds exciting", "Oh no was it boring?", "I would have been angry too". -And build up from there.

The idea is you are giving them emotional links to yourself. They will feel like you're sharing something back, and will usually respond with something else for you to picture yourself doing. All you need to do is play-act in your head, then tell them what you did.

Talking about common interests is not usually interesting, because those kinds of conversations are usually either fact-checking things against each other (testing) or too involving for a casual chat. For those reasons, people with common interests tend to orbit each other without ever colliding.

Don't worry about a thing if you can't do it at first. It does take a bit of practice but it's easy once you understand the "sharing a bit of yourself" rule. Let conversations reach an end and always leave positive feedback. "It's been great talking to you", "cool, it's been fun", "It's been interesting, thank you". Notice the sharing?

Remember whenever you feel like this that you have a condition which makes these emotions feel stronger. Breathe, try to smile, and realise how awesome you are for handling what you can. Conversation is difficult for most of us, so you are definitely not alone in this, and there are rules that you can learn over time to help.

I can't add much more to what others have said. The bases have been generally covered. Maybe you could develop a social outlet based on a favorite subject. I was motivated to take tennis lessons because of my strong interest in the sport. I joined Toastmasters to get over my fear of public speaking and to improve my social networks. I used my interest in world cultures to join a folk dance class. The possibilities are endless!