autism assessment

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Hello.

From what you're writing there's a huge chance that you've got anything but Asperger's. It's not that you consciously want to lie but as you said yourself, the diagnosis would probably put to rest the whole "who am I after all" doubt and bring some rest to your troubled mind, therefore you keep insisting on something that you don't have because "it fits perfectly".

I suggest you keep looking for professional help until you find your answer whatever it is. Of course, I think you should look for a second opinion. Meanwhile, since your very first diagnosis is "not Asperger's", that's how you should look at yourself: you're a neurotypical, period. Be happy about that.

Last note: what people on this board think of you is irrelevant, me included. Trust your professionals.

It's possible you don't have an ASD and you have something going on that shares similar symptoms. It's also possible your partner was being truthful about you and how she feels about you and how she sees you. It's a possibility you got better as you got older and you now have TOM so of course there will be contradictions about your early history than what your partner said about you.

If you do have any struggles and you want support and you are struggling to function in life, you can still go to a therapist and only focus on the areas you struggle in. That is how people unintentionally get diagnosed. They originally went in for anxiety issues or other and it would turn out they had an ASD or other.

It's a possibility you have ASD traits but not enough to have an ASD.

Just keep an open mind for other possibilities. Just because you don't have an ASD doesn't mean you don't have something. It's also a possibility that test was flawed and they didn't know anything about adult ASDs so you can go for a second opinion and make sure they are ASD experts.

Thankyou both for taking time to reply. I guess that's plenty to think about for now.

I took the post away, I definitely don't want to be asking for advice in the wrong place either.

Professionals can easily make mistakes if they are poor listeners or if they are dismissive and fail to investigate deeper whether it is due to laziness, time constraints, bias, incompetence in the given area (most doctors and psychiatrists do NOT understand the autism spectrum and can easily overlook an autistic patient hiding in plain sight). Older patients who have developing coping strategies might further mask their autistic behaviours which might be easy to overlook in a 10 to 15 minute doctor's appointment and the traits/behaviors might not be readily apparent because they don't observe you long enough even if they know what to look for.