Want friends

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I am pretty sure that I have Asperger's/Autism. I meet all the diagnostic criteria, and every test online says I very likely have it. The one thing that is confusing me, though, is that I really want friends. I can't keep friends and that makes me sad. I really want a friend. I don't really like groups, so I would really just like a best friend, but I can't really keep friends. Stuff I have read says that Aspies like to keep to theirselves and don't care about friends, but I do. Can you want friends and have Asperger's/Autism?

Hi davedev I don't have all the answers but this is what I can give.

Finding friends is a massive climb I have had to take but I think I am getting their bit by bit. I am 16 younger than you.

A thing I do is if their is an open conversation in class about something I am interested in I join in with it. That way people become aquatinted with you and you become used to them. This has happened quite frequently as I often discuss politics(A big topic) and has often led to some pretty interesting discussions and has helped me know others better.

I want friends very much. I just can't handle being with more than one person at a time, struggle with inferiority, etc.

You are wrong. Many aspies want to make friends. They sometimes stick to themselves because they anticipate failure and who wants to fail at something all the time? They want to do the right thing too because when you're in the socially weak position you get blamed for everything that goes wrong a lot. Doing the right thing conflicts with making friends. Most of it isn't your fault. You are just slow at making friends and people take advantage of this and you end up further behind because of it. A small disadvantage becomes a bigger and bigger disadvantage. It can be depressing but you get a lot of advantages out of it, like perseverance and humility, but unfortunately those things aren't seen as strengths always by most people since most people nowadays have lots of issues with how they treat others and they want to hide it so develop a culture which values certain things and not others. I have to invest in others always in a "loving" and "respectful" way in other people even though it isn't often reciprocated because I think that society is either going to turn some day and I'll be appreciated or years and years down the road it will and people will look back on these times as barbaric and I would have made a difference to bring about that change. Anyway, hope this helps. I am 45, want to have friends, and have been struggling head on with this issue since I was 30 since when I was your age they didn't have help for this. I manage to hold down a job and have a small family. However, it's a daily struggle that would leave most people I think either daily crying or in despair thinking life isn't worth living. Give yourself more credit and believe that things worth investing in often aren't appreciated not because they aren't worthy but because people nowadays don't value them properly.

I for one am an Aspie and I want to have friends as much as any normal human being. That does not, however, mean that I don't keep to myself for the most part. I can be really outgoing and socially active one day and completely unwilling to see anyone the next. It's a big conflict that I can't seem to solve for the life of me.

On a side note, if you're ever up for a chat, I'd be happy to oblige.

I have aspergers diagnosed I want friends and have a few good people that are friends. NONE of them are best friends. I really want a best friend. to have a friend you must first be a friend. I am in counseling. Counseling helps with this.

I too have a desire for friends, the overwhelming loneliness I fought with for years is the reason I went to see multiple psychologists and that's when I was made aware of aspergers. It takes a lot of effort and it can be difficult to find someone that understands you well enough so that you feel comfortable being friends but it's worth it. Having a best friend is the harder to find the older you get since NT's are generally less open to new friendships as it is and most aspies are going to be more nervous about opening up to people. The best thing you can do is practice and start with small things that you tell people. It's much easier when you're young.