Share some of your Aspergian humor.

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I'll begin with what might be lame so others may feel more comfortable to continue in such a thread as this (I hope there isn't one already that I've missed seeing...if so, I apologize).

My Aspie pun for the day contribution:

"Majority Rules"

(Brought to you by the inexplicable hidden curriculum of today's society; ie, The infamous audible "How are you?" containing the sub-thought, "oh, please don't really tell me," because I'm not interested and you'll blow my cover by refusing to play with us chiefs who wear many masks...meanwhile telling their own kind we're nuts because we don't process information their way.)

Seen on a bumper sticker:"Dog is my Co-Pilot"

A ways back, there was a fad of "There are two..." sigs. Two(sic) of my favourites were:

People say I'm hard to understand. There are two reasons that I utterly disagree with this:
1) I always choose my words carefully and enuciate them perfectly.
2) When over giraffe bucket Benidorm.


There are only two things you need to know in order to make a total succes of your life:
1) Never tell anyone everything you know.

i have a friend, who used to think he might be bi or gay. he is sure not he is hetro, but i like to joke about it. i dont think it really offends him because he jokes about it too. anyways he recently diagnosed himself w/ ARDR or APDP or some made up disorder that he blames all his problems on. so he was talking about his psychologist and said that it was free as part of canadas health care. so i asked how to go about getting an appointment for this, and he said "you have to have something wrong with you to go. they dont just take in anyone off the street." so i said "they took you in." as if to say there was nothing wrong with him, and that is a bad thing. like how i would have made a gay joke, implying that there is something wrong with being gay, witch there is not.

"Man discovering the meaning of life is about as likely as getting an Aspie into a packed Elevator."

I came up with that one!

[quote="ooh_choc"][/quote]
Ha ha! Yes, good one.........

People can be divided into 10 groups;

those that understand binary and those who don't.

I used to be a writer, then I gave up drinking, drugs and deep depression and lost my creativity.


Something one of my employees had put on a tshirt for me.


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Pyschiatry humor for Aspies




"Okay, James, so you were bullied. Why do you think the other children felt the need to bully you?"


"It's basic pack behavior as commonly seen in groups of dogs. They want to establish pack hierarchy."

(Psych blinks several times and adjusts glasses)


"But why do you think they specifically picked on you? What do you think it is about you that provokes this behavior in others?"


"They, in their primitive behavior state, percieved my preoccupation as weakness and thought it was an easy chance to move up in pack order."


(Psych rubs head and frowns)


"James, you must learn to get along with the other children. You must see why your behavior provokes them and learn behavior patterns more in line with theirs."


"You want me to act like a dog in a pack? Why would I do that?"


(Psych makes note)


James makes mental note. NTs want me to act like a dog. Shakes head in confusion.


Psych makes the following note. Displays dissociative and antisocial behavior. Makes up elaborate justifications based on fantasies not connected with reality.

"I have Asperger's....so what's your excuse?"

OMG and I saw this shirt the other day that said something like: "If you're Aspie and you know it, flap your hands." haha...good aspie humour...

I can be REAL slow at times.

This thread is making my stomach muscles ache.

This is supposed to be an example of German humour(sic), but now I'm not quite sure...

I wonder if "Weird Al" Yankovic is an Aspie?

I remember now wondering as a child why a question I asked, as soon as my older ex-half-sister walked into the door, triggered anger. I was so excited and happy when she came to visit that the first thing I blurted out of my mouth was, "When are you going home?" I had no idea it was getting interpretted the opposite way to mean "I can't wait until you leave." I was told to apologize, so I asked, "I should apologize for wanting to know how long I would get to see her for?"

Maybe it's that same 'ol thing a monotone dialog creates for NTs?...they can't know what you mean by what you're saying. I would think what's wrong with them...can't they see the pattern of joy or are they too mindblind and stay focused on the tree of the moment rather than being able to see the whole forest of history?

Could it be that the three ants walking through the forest are going around in circles through the forest? The first ant thinks it's the leader---along with the narrator of the story (plus; this ant #1 might be a NT one?)? The second and third ant are Aspies conned into thinking they're inferior (they're probably much younger "children" who still feel the need to trust an elder ant)?

Permit me to project that humor into the future now:
These three ants are all now older and wiser. If the scenaro is as I said, then what might you think would the story be about these three ants? Would they still be in the forest?

ahh...more of zis to explain.

Sorry, but faithfilly's answer cracked me up. I was going to wait a bit to see if anyone knew the "official" answer (which is not exactly worth waiting for!).

For those of you with ROT13 capabilities:

Ze third ant ist an odiot.