How do you act when you hide it and how do you act when not?

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I have read a lot about trying to hide autism and act "normal" and now I´m interested in the difference between acting and non-acting. How do you act when you hide your autism and how do you act when you don´t, for example at home?

I think I have more of a flat facial expression and just seem kind of boring when I´m at home but at work I can´t sit with a blank face because that probably freak everyone out. At home I often eat in front of the computer (when I´m alone) but I can´t do that at work because you just don´t do that. Also I can´t just be in my own head all the time at work, at home it is easier to daydream and be "off".

Right now I'm sitting reading this with my thumb in my mouth, while running my hair repeatedly over my lips and stroking my fuzzy jumper. These are all things I try to repress in front of other people.

My face is blank. When I'm outside I often try to force it into a semblance of an expression because the blankness can be off-putting, I've been told.

When I interact with others I wear a persona (that I hope is) appropriate to the situation. That usually works well, unless someone does something unexpected and then I'm thrown.

I don't usually put on a front unless it's an event with my partner or a job interview. I tend to avoid people when I'm out and about. If I want to act more social, I smile, make eye contact, and act like I'm happy talking about the weather. Sometimes I push myself to appear more real, smile in a more genuine way or whatever. I will also wear more makeup and do my hair and clothes better. I've noticed that people wear more jewelry than I care for, so sometimes I'll wear extra. If you throw a scarf on an outfit you suddenly appear more put together and fashionable. So with these things I can fit in better.

I have a hard time understanding this aspect of ASD , I thought most people had different persona's ( at home , at work , with friends , outside on your own ). I know I have an outdoor mask / persona where I try to come across as polite and courteous as possible ( and not say the first thing that comes into my head ) because it's less likely to cause friction and social issues but as a result I may seem a little slower coz it's an act. Is that an ASD persona or is that someone just trying to be a good human being.

I'm curious about the same... is it being a good human being or putting on a persona? I don't think I go around trying to act different in public. My one daughter often busts me when we go places together... I find I'm doing this or that and don't realize it (I'm a stimmy person). My actions sometimes make her feel uncomfortable, so I try to temper it, whatever it might be, for her benefit. It rarely if ever sticks though... just can't help it, you know? But I still try if she says I am making her uncomfortable. I know I like it when people do little things to make me more at ease, so I figure I'd be a jerk to not even try to do the same for people when I know they would like it.

i should add i do not do that for everyone, but she is my daughter, you know. i dont generally try to keep that in check if it is just me out and about either.

At home I'm more hyperactive, in a childlike way. Also I talk a lot like an extroverted NT and don't have an ounce of social anxiety. I do tend to argue more with family members, but I think that's normal for everyone. They say "familiarity breeds contempt".
I act calmer though if we have guests of course.

At work I'm more serious and quiet, although it varies depending on how well I know a person.

When I'm in public I suppose I act the same as I do at work, except I'm more socially anxious.

It's a mixture when I'm with my boyfriend. I can talk to him like I've known him all my life, but I don't act like a buffoon or argue with him. I do act hyperactive but I try to keep it more age-appropriate.

I think everybody acts to a certain extent. A bit like people I know burp loudly in their home or around people they're really comfortable with, but when out at restaurants they seem able to burp more politely, or even not at all.

This is hard. As people have mentioned, NTs adjust their behaviour to the situation- in fact they're meant to be better than people with AS?

I don't have a good sense of self, care too much about what people think, and have essentially lived a life full of excuses which is something I'm still in the progress of working past...

Currently I struggle with how to present myself as I often feel I need to validate my diagnosis as I am STILL very uncertain (I'm "very high functioning" apparently).

At home I can be very hyper and silly (more so than in public), I don't bother with my appearance, and can be a bit of a slob (though I'm learning to be tidy finally!). I can also spend hours quietly fixated on something and I will crack my joints more (mainly toes), touch my body in a non sexual way that would still be inappropriate outside of the house, sometimes listen to songs I like on repeat, make more random noises in my communication (my vocabulary seems to range from childish to advanced)... there's probably plenty more and I'm sure I'll work it all out one day!

When I'm with anyone other than my husband and kids I know I'm playing a role.
I'm just a really crappy actress.
At home unfortunately for the family I try to be myself.

On my own I play games and read forums on lots of subjects and on events that are happening in the world, out and about I tend not to talk much. I have 2 good friends who I can relax and have some common interests that I enjoy.

Other then that its an act. Chatting at work chatting to most of my family (I get on with my mum) I struggle to have any interest in them or they life's. Just want to put on my head phones and get on with my work, or go home and play my games.

I'm not as good at appearing normal as I always believed I was.

I could never understand why people treated me like I was strange. I realise now that it's because I don't hide my autism well.

Some things definitely show up. I can make good eye contact for a few minutes, by actively making an effort, and so that's one way that I try to 'act NT' with someone new. But once the conversation's flowing, I tend to forget and the eye contact stops. In conversations I tend to have my 'fake confidence' to start, but again that slips when conversation's flowing. If someone comes up and says "Hi, how are you?", I can put on a cheerful and enthusiastic voice and say "I'm great thanks, how are you?", but pretty soon we're off-script and I become a lot more quiet or say the wrong things.

Other things are more noticeable. I walk on tiptoes when I don't have shoes on, and I have a very bouncy gait with shoes on, so people usually immediately notice my weird walk. Photography is a special interest of mine, but I recognise that in the past people have thought it weird how I will go to events and be taking photos constantly.

It depends how relaxed I am. I am very good at faking NT for a short while, but as soon as I relax the act slips.

I definately have to feign interest in what people say a lot of the time , usually not straight away but it doesn't take long before they start to sound like Charlie Brown's teacher in my head "Whaa Whaaa Wha Wha Wha" and it's really difficult for me to concentrate on what they are saying.

Nice way of putting it.

Its resulted in a lot of gilt on my part, thinking was I rude. And a lot of energy trying to learn to be interested in other people. And a lot of embarrassment when I have to ask people to repeat them self because my mind completely drifted off.

When not "on game" I look very serious and thoughtful.
At work people who catch me before I get to put the face on ask what is wrong - I just say I think deeply about things (true) but don't always share my thoughts (true again)

On my own I make very little noise and have a limited range of activities indoors (I paint military miniatures) and I stim far more throwing hand shapes. rhythmic pacing etc.

I feel that guilt too. I'm waiting on a Dx and if I don't have ASD then basically I'm a rude , arrogant , a**hole

I find it a real challenge to keep focussed on people if I am not interested in what they are saying. This has led to some social faux pas in the past as I get completely the wrong end of the stick...

I didn't realise this was an ASD thing? I hope it is because this can be a huge issue for me... for instance my partner will be telling me a story and I sit getting increasingly frustrated as I often lose interest. Sometimes someone is talking about something that should be of interest to me and I end up tuning them out or getting caught up in my own thoughts. It seems to require quite a bit of effort to pay attention. It can be particularly bad when I'm not 'feeling' the thing I'm expected to respond with... usually because I don't care?? I'm probably selfish regardless of this but it does give me hope that it's not all me. I can definitely care about others sometimes...