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hellhole
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27 Feb 2017, 12:38 pm

Today at the shop I work at, I saw this absent-minded 5 year old guy walking around with a cowlick, and I knew he was on the spectrum; his mother was petting his head, and he honestly seemed unfazed by it all. I just thought to myself "that guy will probably grow up to get scapegoated and bullied by dicks in school", the sad truth of it all.


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27 Feb 2017, 12:44 pm

Yeah but there's nothing you can do about it really. You kinda just have to hope for the best I suppose.


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27 Feb 2017, 12:47 pm

hellhole wrote:
Today at the shop I work at, I saw this absent-minded 5 year old guy walking around with a cowlick, and I knew he was on the spectrum; his mother was petting his head, and he honestly seemed unfazed by it all. I just thought to myself "that guy will probably grow up to get scapegoated and bullied by dicks in school", the sad truth of it all.


Possibly/probably, unless he gets put in special ed like I did. Although I have been bullied (mostly in the form of teasing) by higher functioning kids, it's been a lot better than would be experienced in a mainstream school. So yeah I feel sorry for kids on the spectrum who get mainstreamed.



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27 Feb 2017, 12:50 pm

I was working volunteering at a show yesterday and a tall non verbal young man offered me his hand. So I shook his hand and he went away happy.



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27 Feb 2017, 1:35 pm

I don't feel sorry for them at all. I don't expect people to feel sorry for me.


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27 Feb 2017, 2:00 pm

I would "feel sorry" in the sense that the kid may have a lot of issues to overcome in his or her life. but just for having Autism/Aspergers not really unless it's there's some MR or profound issues that would prevent that person from having a "normal-Functioning" life.


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27 Feb 2017, 3:07 pm

No. Rather, I just feel the world is a terrible place.


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27 Feb 2017, 3:54 pm

This is why I don't want a child on the spectrum. I don't want a child that has an increased chance of getting bullied and being socially isolated.

Saying that, I don't want a child with ANY sort of difference that may increase their chance of being bullied. I know NT children can be bullied too but non-NT children are more at risk, especially if their disability isolates them from their peers.


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27 Feb 2017, 5:31 pm

Sometimes I worry about my son and I know school is hell. I don't feel sorry though. ASD can be a beautiful twist. I wouldn't want to be NT.



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27 Feb 2017, 6:51 pm

I'd love to be NT. AS is nothing but a curse to me. It makes me weird, standoffish, distracted, boring, scared. Nothing good. People just think I'm thick and stupid, and aren't afraid to tell me. It makes me feel so humiliated and ashamed of myself, like I'm a bad person. I hate it. I really want to blame something for this terrible curse. Why me? I want to be normal.


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27 Feb 2017, 9:22 pm

I feel sorry for them when they are bullied or treated unfairly by people who are clueless about autism. I don't feel sorry because they are autistic. Just like I do not want to be pitied as if I had a terminal illness instead of Asperger's.



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27 Feb 2017, 9:27 pm

Joe90 wrote:
This is why I don't want a child on the spectrum. I don't want a child that has an increased chance of getting bullied and being socially isolated.

Saying that, I don't want a child with ANY sort of difference that may increase their chance of being bullied. I know NT children can be bullied too but non-NT children are more at risk, especially if their disability isolates them from their peers.


So what are you going to do if they're born on the spectrum? Kill them? Will that make your life any easier? Funny, I thought all people's lives were valuable.



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27 Feb 2017, 9:39 pm

Hmm. I have a bit of a nasty kneejerk reaction to autistic children - for example there was an advert in a local paper recently for a "sensory concern for autism," which interested me because I don't go to concerts and similar because of sensory issues, but read further and it was just for autistic children.
Autistic children get every support, every accommodation is made for them, whereas autistic adults get nothing. People still seem to believe autism evaporates at 18, and are only interested in autistic children, not autistic people. Annoys me. So no I don't feel sorry for them - they're certainly getting support they need, I doubt they need pity too.


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27 Feb 2017, 9:51 pm

Some of the "side effects" of being on the spectrum are more annoying than people/bullies ever were to me. I feel only a few drops of rain, while others stand in a storm. I wish I had an umbrella to give them.



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28 Feb 2017, 1:18 am

C2V wrote:
Autistic children get every support, every accommodation is made for them, whereas autistic adults get nothing. People still seem to believe autism evaporates at 18, and are only interested in autistic children, not autistic people. Annoys me. So no I don't feel sorry for them - they're certainly getting support they need, I doubt they need pity too.


Speaking as an under-eighteen in a "normal" school, I have to disagree with your comment. I know autistic students, both diagnosed and undiagnosed, who don't receive the support they need, who are misunderstood and misread by the education system and failed by the system as a result, and who are made fun of by their peers because people don't understand them. I'm not in any way trying to suggest that it's harder to be an autistic child than an autistic adult, and I definitely don't want to deny the fact that there should be way more help for autistic adults than there currently are, but I don't agree that autistic children always get what they need in terms of support.
However, it's possible that this kid has great resources and will turn out completely fine. Maybe he's diagnosed, that'll help. Maybe his parents understand and accept his autism, and will fight for him to get the support he needs at school, that'll help. Maybe his school is (will be?) really great at seeing both what he's really good at and what he really needs to work on. Maybe his therapy is great and respectful and be helpful for him. Maybe he has (will have?) classmates who connect with him and aren't scared of everything that's different. But are all of those things likely? Not in my opinion. And if he doesn't get these things, I don't think it's unreasonable to feel a little bit sorry for him because of all that he'll miss out on.



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28 Feb 2017, 1:24 am

lostonearth35 wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
This is why I don't want a child on the spectrum. I don't want a child that has an increased chance of getting bullied and being socially isolated.

Saying that, I don't want a child with ANY sort of difference that may increase their chance of being bullied. I know NT children can be bullied too but non-NT children are more at risk, especially if their disability isolates them from their peers.


So what are you going to do if they're born on the spectrum? Kill them? Will that make your life any easier? Funny, I thought all people's lives were valuable.


I hate autism, there I said it. I don't hate autistic people, I just hate autism. I hate having it, and I'm damned if I'm going to bring a child in this world to suffer by society. So sadly I won't have children. I'd love a little girl or boy of my own, but if my curse is going to be passed on then it's probably better I spare the heartache.
No I won't kill them. Why do you have to attack me for? We don't all love our autism that much to want to pass it on to another human being.


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